Citation: plhiszh. "Calm and Soothing: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp95616)". Erowid.org. Feb 6, 2013. erowid.org/exp/95616
I had an MXE experience for the first time a few days ago, and it guided me to one of the most substantial, spiritual understandings of my life. MXE kind of fell into my lap. I wasnít planning on taking it, and I did little research about it. All I gathered was that it was like an exhilarated ketamine, and I was told that I would like it a lot. However I hadnít taken anything of substance in a few months, and never trying a Ďresearchí chemical (I am much more in tune with mushrooms and LSD), I decided to give it a go. I am well versed with energy, meditation, lucid dreams, OBEs, astral project, intuition, spirits; it has all been growing inside me since childhood. I had been preparing for a life transformative meditational journey which I was planning to save for early summer. I never thought that one dose of MXE could jumpstart it.
Due to my weight, and solace with mind enhancement, I insufflated 80mg, and about 40 minutes later, another 50mg, which equates to about a medium dose. I kept all external forces off, including music, to help maintain a natural balance. The only physical senses were my pets, and someone I know very intimately who also insufflated an amount relative to parity.
Before I decided to meditate, I played with the effects in the physical realm. It was nothing like I was expecting since I had observed others experience similarities to ketamine (looped and dazed thoughts, confusion, slurred speech, frail movementÖ). The effects rose in me like a slow tide. The waves were calm and soothing, massaging the hooping aches from my back. My brain function was quite seamless; I was able to speak clearly, and (unlike my partner) I never experienced a loop. I could walk normally too. However my mind was opulent, my senses were incredibly heightened, and I could easily see the atmosphere ebbing and flowing around me. I was able to explore at my own pace, and nothing became intense until I decided it was the time. I could have had the same experience, sober, anytime of day; the effects seemed subdued to me. This made me decide to go sit alone and meditate for further enhancement.
Due to the cold night, I chose my favorite spot on the couch instead of the porch. I got cozy in the corner, crossed my legs and naturally, my head found itself gently resting on my thumbs, and my fingers cushioning my forehead. Navigating myself through the physical plane has always been a struggle, although MXE helped to guide me into almost instant physical comfort. The intensity of it tickled me with euphoria and I slowly rode it out of my body. I focused on the warmth in my mouth, chest and stomach. I swirled it around and let it flourish, up and around me, as if I was a seed in the center of itís balloon. From there, I rushed in, deeper, twirling yet expanding with the warmth. I was in such love that my desire for more led me to race into a deep and high illumination. When the sensation of the physical realm became a distant memory, I slowed down to soak in detail and enjoy the universe. I have never felt so welcome. I journeyed through my senses, trying to dissect the understanding from overwhelming pleasure. A sunlike light was brighter than ever, yet the dark cradled me all the same. The air was intertwined with every season so much that created itís own. I have never felt more eternal and mindfully full. I felt the climax as I became everything as it became me, more so than ever before. Iíve imagined it in dreams within dreams, and Iíve felt the pull during astral projection, although this awareness of unity was the ultimate transformation. I can never look back.
I donít know how long but I stayed until my partner entered the room and started to speak. I was happy that I was able to hear him, let alone decipher what he was saying, because it was further knowledge that what I was experiencing didnít relate to the dreamworld. Although it was nothing of his words, I knew that he knew I wasnít in the room, and he didnít expect me to hear him. This intrigued me to journey back into the physical realm, as his vocal tone confirmed that he also had a joyful experience.
It was a relaxing, smooth ride. It started like I *everything* was pouring a waterfall into existence, which was expansively both black and prismatic. Without preparation, I glided into the whole of the water source, slowing flowing into myself and riding the fall of the water. I remember having to search for my body, kind of like calling it back to me. As my body became brighter and tangible, the water source grew further into the distance. I was still in a strong meditative stance when I was back on the couch. I couldnít move any bit of myself, although I knew I was close because I could feel energy on the other end of the couch. I mentally looked over and I could see my cat, more vivid than than ever before, glowing a bright orange. I mentally looked down and I could see my body glowing. I didnít have to squint, or try to illuminate my feelings/senses into sight, as I normally do. No doubt about it, I saw myself; a dark body outlined by a glowing light. At first glance the glow was a bright green, but in detail it weaved bright yellow, green and blue. I have never seen colors blend so brilliantly into one before. In the past I have only been able to feel and get enough sense to imagine such energy. To confirm my sight, I mentally waved my fingers at myself, and I saw them wave in and out of the still body. I could feel my crystals and stones in the next room, and they were shining all colors into white, I felt them smiling at me. I craved them, as I wanted to experience it with them, and their glow saturated me, eliminating our physical distance.
As the night continued I remained in ultimate comfort. I was levitated, with my eyes closed, riding gentle waves and becoming the ocean. In my mind I found chorus chants. I deciphered different messages, all symbolizing love and unity.
Many times that night I brought myself back to the peaceful place where I see with my eyes closed. My partner and I did experiments where he would move and I would tell him what he was doing, such as holding out limbs, waving or holding up fingers. I was on the dot every time. This strengthened my confidence to where I am comfortable with opening and closing many internal eyelids and focusing on various energies. I canít wait to further enhance every sensation of that night. They are tools that I will carry with me until my next transformation and beyond.
I am grateful that MXE happened upon me. Unexpectedly it guided me to such a comfort in the physical realm that I was able to completely leave it behind to where it is only a memory. I feel unending peace to be able to experience visually, and mindfully, what I have always believed in and been able to reach only in dreamworlds.
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