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Ego Melting Into Uncontrollable Thoughts
Citation:   Dimarthicuss. "Ego Melting Into Uncontrollable Thoughts: An Experience with 2C-E (exp95158)". Jan 8, 2018.

25 mg rectal 2C-E (powder / crystals)
Let me first tell you just a little about myself. I'm 22 years old, currently working and going to school, both full time. My experience with psychoactive drugs includes psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, LSA, mescaline, MDMA, 5-MEO-MiPT, piperazines, 2c-e, as well as cannabis on a weekly basis. Although I do have experience with these substances, I have never experienced anything so difficult as this 'journey' I am about to tell you of.

It started out quite normally, I prepared the 25 mg 2C-E dosage in a gel capsule, which I then had my loving wife administer rectally. She left immediately after the gel capsule was in place, having a few errands to run. I noted a slight burning sensation in my rectum within 15 minutes. Within another 15 minutes I was already beginning to come up, a familiar sensation associated with this route of administration. I was surfing on youtube through the gradual yet accelerated come-up, and somehow or another I became attracted to the very odd yet remarkable psychedelic paintings by Alex Grey. Whilst observing these paintings, I began to think and ponder upon the simple structure of the human body. I felt wonderful, the visions I was experiencing were that of kaleidoscopic patterns displayed over every material surface. This sensation persisted for an unknown period of time (extreme time dilation).

Shortly before my wife came home, things became far more interesting, and more terrifying than before. While my OEV's and CEV's continued to be everlasting and beautiful, the state that my mind was in became chaotic. I could not control my thoughts, and more importantly, I could not control the grim questions about life in my psyche that I will never be able to answer. I felt extremely anxious, like something was horrifically wrong, tragedy, death, anything; but no, it was only my mind. I though that the feeling would leave when my wife returned home, I was sadly mistaken. The sensation only persisted and grew worse in my feelings of panic. Although my wife already knew I was tripping, I felt compelled to act somewhat normal. I could do this only for a moment, upon which I broke down and told her that I was freaking out. I remember looking at myself briefly from above, looking into her eyes. I was so scared. We eventually made our way to the shower to warm up. As I stepped into the shower, I began to question my identity, as i didn't know who I was anymore. Standing in the shower, I closed my eyes and had the vision of my spirit, which looked like a sperm to be quite honest, darting through this beautiful psychedelic energy lattice plane, weaving in and out through the rainbow spectrum of light energy. My spirit's name was Dimarthicuss, and I was just a lost blip of energy, floating through life. It was an extremely beautiful experience now that I reflect upon it, but at the time it was occurring, it was the single most horrific and terrifying experience I've ever had on any psychoactive drug. After my mental state retreated from what I believed was the peak, after much crying from terror and reflective bliss, the experience became positive. I began to converse with my wife about everything, just being fascinated with every aspect of human existence.

After this point I slowly came down, and went to bed after 13 hours of being intoxicated, having a difficult time falling asleep. Still to this day when I reflect upon this single experience, I cringe at how emotionally painful it was, as well as look upon it in awe as one of the most beautiful and enlightening experiences of my life.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 95158
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jan 8, 2018Views: 1,492
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2C-E (137) : Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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