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Panic. Meditation.
by Paul
Citation:   Paul. "Panic. Meditation.: An Experience with Nutmeg (exp94948)". Erowid.org. Jan 27, 2020. erowid.org/exp/94948

2 nuts oral Nutmeg (ground / crushed)


After reading a few articles on the net I felt confident enough to try nutmeg.

What really convinced me was one author's statement that the biggest problem with nutmeg was that it took about four hours to feel its effects, so the one had to be careful to decide on a dose far in advance of his/her planned period of intoxication/entheogenation. I felt that this information gave me an acceptable margin of safety.

I had recently used whole nutmeg in cooking and had a nice, sturdy mortar and pestle for this purpose, so it was nothing new to me to pound a couple of nuts into a crunchy gravel and down that with a cup of yogurt. I had also noticed from my culinary experience with the spice that it seemed much more potent-tasting if you didn't mix it into a very fine powder such as might be found at one's local supermarket. It is my theory that the oils evaporate quickly and that making nutmeg into a powder increases the surface area of the substance so that unwanted evaporation of the oils is facilitated.

Before actually consuming the nutmeg, I was reading about grams and tablespoons in preparation for deciding how much nutmeg to take. Not having access to a digital scale, and being too lazy to make some sort of scale with a coat hanger that I felt would be of questionable accuracy anyway for such a small amount (10 or 20 grams, apparently), I decided that 2 nuts would be a reasonable amount to start with. The article I was using as a reference did make handy conversions from grams to teaspoons and tablespoons, none of which meant much to me in cold hard facts, as in this is exactly how much you are going to eat.

The article said that one or two teaspoons might be a good amount to start with. In the end, I cavalierly decided that a normal spoon must be a teaspoon, and I thought I remembered being in some kitchen where I was surprised at how big a tablespoon, as an official measure of volume, was.

So the two nuts when crushed filled about a little more than a normal spoon. I ate that. It was 5pm. (Actually, I propose THAT as a standard of measure: 1 normal spoon, or nmlsp for short.)

After about 30 minutes, I became panicky, freaking out that I actually wasn't really sure about the difference between a teaspoon and a tablespoon (was a teaspoon actually one of those really small spoons my mom used to use to put sugar in tea???), and terrified that I might have taken a dose that was way more than I was ready for, and now there was nothing I could do about it, bemoaning my hubris at downing a potentially harmful amount of a substance without being really sure how much I was taking. So I feverishly searched the net looking for some assurance that I had not done anything really stupid, eventually coming to the conclusion that at worst I had consumed a rather strong dose, not a foolish one, and at best I would not feel anything.

A large quantity nutmeg in my belly has a rather strong presence when first consumed, in the same way that high proof alchohol might, but with alchohol the physical presence of the drug in my stomach is directly related to the psychological effects which I am seeking both somatically and temporally. This is not the case with nutmeg, but it is a natural tendency to want to 'feel' nutmeg in the same way. It's like I just swallowed a mild spoonful of tiger balm.
It's like I just swallowed a mild spoonful of tiger balm.

I think it did have a purgatory effect. I pooped. I can see vomiting as another possible reaction. There was the sense that something 'other' was now inside me.

At 8 oclock, three hours after ingestion, my panic had subsided, and I did not feel much, but, as per the web article, I recognized that substantial effects might occur at about the four hour mark. I decided to meditate for an hour until 9, steeling myself for whatever panic, hallucinations, vomiting or loss of bodily control might occur. (And realizing that if such events were to occur, there was basically no one I could call. I would be alone.) 9 o'clock rolled around and I still did not feel much. I made dinner, having read that it was a good idea to eat whilst in the command of the drug so as to avoid nausea. I cooked a delicious dinner of rice, pork and radish.

I got on the net after dinner. At some point I noticed that I had been blankly staring at the screen for a while, and I decided to meditate again. This was about 11 o'clock, 7 hours after initial ingestion. Once I sat down to meditate, I realized, wow.....I definately feel something different. I was able to concentrate very well on my breathing, and there was a certain peacefulness. I had been checking for erotic feelings (a possible effect according to the net) since 8 o'clock, and now I felt definate hints seeping through.

It was 2 or 3 oclock when I decided to go to bed. I must say that sleep did not come easily, I seemed to spend the night in a very light sleep, never quite falling fully into it.

To summarize:
Dose: 2 nuts crushed with mortar and pestle and consumed immediately.

Bad Points: initial feeling of panic, very slight drymouth, a bit of difficulty sleeping.

Good points: with a modest dose I definately felt something. It was a very useful drug to work with while meditating.
It was a very useful drug to work with while meditating.
I was able to focus clearly on my breathing and hone in on somatic obstructions in the diaphragm area in a way that would be difficult without the drug.

Notable points: the true onset of the experience occured a full seven hours after ingestion, not the 3 or 4 suggested in the literature. I had (light and undisturbing) spasms in my liver area. I was very careful to keep hydrated the whole time. I experienced no hangovers, headaches or vomiting.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 94948
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 48 
Published: Jan 27, 2020Views: 936
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Nutmeg (41), Meditation (128) : Combinations (3), First Times (2), Alone (16)

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