Citation: Just Some Guy. "Unfathomably Beautiful: An Experience with DMT (N,N-DMT) (exp94599)". Erowid.org. Oct 29, 2016. erowid.org/exp/94599
The dose described in this report is very high, beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
||(powder / crystals)
Well, where to begin?
Here's my back story: I'm about 22 years old. As I write this, my first experience with drugs was, oh, about five or six weeks ago. I'd intentionally avoided drugs all of my life, viewing them as mindless and obnoxious. A younger friend of mine finally convinced me to try weed, and, well, let's just say that I changed my mind about drugs. Weed and I have become good friends.
I've now smoked weed about a dozen times. After the fourth time I did it, this friend of mine mentioned that a mutual friend was going to do DMT that night.
What's that?, I wondered. I loved weed and wanted to experiment with more potent drugs.
'Um, no. You're not doing DMT. You've smoked weed like, four times. DMT is the most powerful psychedelic on the planet.'
But stubborn me being stubborn me, I insisted. I researched it for hours and concluded that I wanted to try.
The mutual friend was reluctant, but agreed to give me a smaller dose. He had half of a gram, and we were smoking with his makeshift bong -- he took about 150mg and he gave me about 50mg, which seemed to be much higher dosages than what most people online were taking. But I trusted him, so -- yeah. Being highly inexperienced, I only held the hits for a combined total of maybe six seconds. I got a buzz -- vibrations around my body, and, when I closed my eyes, a feeling like I was experiencing an out-of-body experience.
That alone was fascinating and something that everyone should experience.
But it wasn't enough. That's not what I read about. I vowed to get it right next time.
We ordered another gram, and, a little under two weeks later, we returned to the same place at the same time to give it another try.
The mutual friend, who is very experienced in these matters, knew what to prepare me for. We did some weed first so the ash could form a barrier in the bowl, blocking out the more pungent taste of the pure DMT -- a repulsive burning-plastic-type taste.
I was told that I needed three good hits: inhale the first hit for ten seconds, inhale the second hit for ten seconds, and then, although your body will start giving out, you have to fight the effect and get a few seconds in of that last good, potent hit. The third hit, I was told, was critical -- it's the difference between an amazing trip and truly breaking through to the other side.
Three of us were to do it. I went first. I was very nervous -- nervous that I wouldn't get my hits right, nervous about what I should expect with such an incredibly high dosage, nervous because I was going first -- but when it came time to smoke, I buckled down and did it. The first hit went in -- counting to ten -- and out -- then quickly reaching for the second -- in -- ten seconds -- and out --
By now my body was starting to rush. Things started to blur. But I summoned up the will to get a third hit. It went in and out in about three seconds. Then I laid down on the ground, onto my pillow, supremely confident that I'd done it right, and said 'Alright, here I go. Bye!'
And fuck, I was gone. I was transported to another fucking dimension.
Before continuing with the experience, let me note that I was not conscious of anything. I wasn't communicating with anyone in the room -- I wasn't even aware that I was in the room. Some of the other experiences I've read talk about interactions with others and opening their eyes here and there to get the open-eye visuals -- Sorry to say, but they're missing out. I was knocked-out unconscious. Some people talk of 'egodeath.' I guess that's what I felt: I literally had no conception of myself. What in hell do I possibly say to convey to someone what exactly that means? There is no sober parallel to what that means. It doesn't even make sense: if there's no conception of the self, where is the 'I'? And yet -- that's what I felt. I was seeing things, I was being led through space, but it wasn't really 'me.'
The other side was like a rollercoaster ride. I had no choice but to sit back and be carried away as things unfolded in front of me. I -- or, my essence, my consciousness -- was just floating in space, detached from existence, not fighting anything, not trying to direct anything. It was like I was being given a spiritual tour of this parallel world.
The first thing that I remember is the imagery. The infinitely intricate, breathtakingly complex geometric images that I saw were indescribably beautiful. One pattern after another, in split seconds, unfolded. Dozens of them. They unfolded or melted away as quickly as they appeared. Glowing rainbow colors -- everything had an aura. It turned blue, green, yellow, hot pink, light orange -- unfathomably beautiful. And they kept coming and coming and coming -- It is simply astonishing that the mind is capable of such things.
Then, it's like I'm in space -- pitch-black darkness, but with hundreds of glowing, rainbow stars in the background, shining beautifully. And I go past these holographic, glowing blue floors -- and then I saw -- them. They could be described as aliens or elves -- aliens, since I had the feeling of being in outer space; elves, because of their elongated ears. They were very thin, but not emaciated -- everything was proportional. Their bodies were comprised of triangular shapes, and were glowing blue, too, although they also had an aura.
I saw several of them, though I remember certain images most vividly. I saw a family of three -- a mother, a father, and a young boy. She was pouring the boy cereal at the table as the father was at the stove, attending to something, talking to a client on the phone. I also saw two young women having coffee on a breezy weekday afternoon. I vaguely remember a man showing himself to me, as if he were about to go to work. But I didn't interact with them; they said nothing to me -- it was just this sense that this was their world, and, while things looked mundane, their lives were peaceful and didn't need any interference. I just had to keep going; my ride was taking me elsewhere. It was all happening so frustratingly quickly.
As I felt myself coming down and my consciousness restored, the images kept coming at me at a million miles a minute -- images that implicitly conveyed information, mostly evoking feelings of childhood and daily life, although they felt like so much more. Things were just coming and going at lightning speed -- there was hardly time to process any of it. It was simply an incomparable show, like a kaleidoscope of dream images, beautiful geometric shapes, and images that so perfectly conveyed particular feelings.
When I came to, all I could do for three minutes was pound the ground relentlessly, repeating variations of 'Holy shit!' and 'What the fuck?!' -- It was just pure astonishment, just utter disbelief at what I'd just experienced. I still felt 'in the experience' for another five minutes or so, -- my body was shaking, I was breathing heavily, and I was still able to feel out-of-body when I closed my eyes.
My friends said that I was out for 10-15 minutes. It felt timeless. When you're there, it's like you're in another dimension -- formless, floating, transcendental. All that matters is what's in front of you, and the intensity of the ride. I had no conception of anything while in the parallel world -- I had no sense of even existing. That other world was all that there was, and I was being shown its grandeur.
People have hypothesized that people who think that they were abducted by aliens actually experienced an accidental release of DMT. I buy that theory. If I'd experienced that and had no idea why, you can be damn sure that I'd believe it were real. It also seems extremely plausible that this is what dying feels like -- a peaceful release.
This drug is powerful as all hell and probably the most intense positive experience I've ever had. It's a major life event for me and I think that everyone should try it out, if they think that they can handle it.
To go from my first bowl of weed to breaking through on DMT in the span of five or six weeks is pretty outrageous, but I don't regret it at all: nothing in the fucking world could possibly prepare a person for what they experience when they break through on DMT. My adventurous side took hold of me -- damn, that was amazing. I did my best, but nothing, nothing, nothing in the world can describe the beauty and intensity of DMT's parallel world.
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