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I'm Glad I Did It
Morning Glory (seeds)
by Kiil
Citation:   Kiil. "I'm Glad I Did It: An Experience with Morning Glory (seeds) (exp94478)". Erowid.org. May 16, 2016. erowid.org/exp/94478

 
DOSE:
5 g oral Morning Glory (seeds)

BODY WEIGHT: 53 kg


Morning Glorified Experience

I had a bad depression for about 6 years before I used LSA for the first time. Almost without social contacts, everything was difficult to do and caused me mental and sometimes even physical harm. I felt hopeless, and was ready to commit the worst thing of my life. I saw hallucinations, had panic attacks and sometimes I could just scream and cry hysterically for hours until falling asleep. After I woke up, I felt cold and numb, like it hadn't happened, it was a dream. I cut myself quite a lot, and sometimes scratched my skin until it started bleeding. Twice I broke my arm, then it became difficult, for pain causes me to throw up. Nightmares haunted me almost every night, and they weren't your basic killer chasing you around. Odd figures and places, bleeding and skinless people and animals screaming for help, and fire was all around me, white haired men without faces raping me.

Then through some odd events I found my angel. He saved me and introduced me to psychedelics.

I didn't think about it much when I first tried LSA. I was ready for anything if it helped me and I wasn't using any other drugs or medication. We ground the seeds to powder and ate it with yoghurt. I think there was about 5-10 grams of it, but no more that's for sure. For my friend it was difficult, he had used the seeds before and knew it would cause him to feel nausea. This happened to me too every time I thought about that experience later on. Then we waited.

About half an hour passed and I started laughing, but it felt bad. Like laughing in a funeral. I was embarrassed for it. There was no joy, just the knowledge that something inside me moved the muscles which makes people laugh. Then I felt nausea too, I couldn't move or I would have thrown up. I also got a headache. This lasted about half an hour. Then we noticed how our pupils became huge. After that we went for a walk in the nearby woods. Oh the wonderful colours, sounds and smells. Everything was bright and colourful and I could see the trees very clearly. There was a bridge and under it a small river. It sounded like the water had been next to my ear, and it was like music. If someone passed us, I could smell his sweat or her perfume clearly. Wind blew slowly, and it felt like silk or someones gentle touch.

Then we just sat under a tree and hugged each other. I felt really good and really bad at the same time. Like my head said this is wrong but everything else in my body was 'hell yeah!' It felt like hours had passed, but when we went back inside, no more than 15 minutes had gone.

Then we listened to music and my bad trip started. I was lying on the bed, and felt the same hopeless darkness I had before all this, only it took me completely. If there had been a knife I would have killed myself. And I loved my friend to pieces, but during the trip that love vanished, or actually hid itself, and it broke my heart. I knew I loved him but I didn't realize it. Same thing happened later, I was really tired but my brain didn't know how to sleep. I was close to losing my mind, there was no reason to continue, but somehow I just kept telling my self 'It's the drug, don't give in the drug, everything will be alright!' I think an hour and a half passed until this started to fade. I was sort of asleep, but aware I was in that small room. Then I thought the bed was in a deep, dark jungle and I could see a small waterfall through my eyelids and I heard it clearly. This took an hour I suppose.

It was bitter sweet at that point. So beautiful yet I felt sad. I had a shirt with a cat printed on it, and my friend told later he saw multiple cats in my shirt and they were running around. I had cried a lot, and after that hallucination passed I realised my friend was keeping me in his arms, and a huge feeling of being safe and loved moved like a wave through me. It made me realize how much good I have in my life, and how easy it is to change everything. And that the only thing that matters is love. After that I cried some more because I was so happy. I don't think I had been that happy even when I was a child. Then it turned into a good trip and that lasted for about three hours until I was back to quite normal. During that three hours we watched some Simpsons and I realised something big about the show but I was still too wasted to remember anything about it later. Everything was clear to me then. Why people are evil, why we do what we do, and I felt like god. We talked about it and I was able understand everything what my friend said, though I have no idea about it now. Then we went to sleep.

The next day I felt like I had a bad flu behind me, or like I was beaten. But damn I felt good in other ways. No sign of depression or any other shit. And it has continued to this day, six months later. I haven't used LSA since, just two times DXM (also good stuff). No nightmares, no scary hallucinations, nothing. I'm glad I did it. I would be dead without it. I guess the bad side is that I'm an artist and work hasn't been as easy as it was before, but to turn it good, at least all of it is my own imagination. I haven't had any bad side effects. I think clearer, before everything was a big blur, I sleep better which causes other good things in general health, doesn't cause addiction, it's safe... What else?

Next to try LSD! I have migraine, and I've heard it might even 'cure' it completely.

Exp Year: 2011ExpID: 94478
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: May 16, 2016Views: 5,621
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Morning Glory (38) : Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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