Citation: Riddler. "Just another Drone: An Experience with 4-Methylmethcathinone (exp94393)". Erowid.org. Feb 3, 2012. erowid.org/exp/94393
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
My story is not a new or original one. It is about addiction. It is about a lifestyle getting out of hand very quickly, and how scary it is for your mindset to change so drastically, but for you not to notice until you reflect on your actions. My drug was 4-Methylmethcathinone, which will be labelled as “Drone” from this point forward. Dosage varied but was daily for a five month period, averaging 12g a week.
It started a few days before New Year’s Eve 2009. I’d enjoyed my Christmas in the usual fashion, eating and drinking too much with friends and family. Being relatively new at my workplace, I’d drawn the short straw and had to work one day late Dec before resuming my holiday, as I still had several days off before work really picked up again in the New Year. I got a call as I was leaving the office from one of my friends, “D” asking if I wanted to meet them for a few drinks and if I’d heard of M-Cat? I hadn’t but I was curious and D’s timing was impeccable. D lived close to my office so I headed straight there. I was in a good mood and had a few beers with a few friends until D produced the baggy. We didn’t waste any time.
The first line was amazing; I’ve done my share of cocaine and ecstasy over the years, but this felt different, intense but clean, without the fogginess you get off MDMA. We laughed, talked about rubbish and had a few more beers. By 11pm I’d finished the few grams I’d purchased and feeling quite nicely buzzed, decided it was time to head home – no need to start my time off hung over. Overall, the experience was short-lived and pleasant; I really wish I’d just left it at that.
I knew from the off I was going to like that drug too much so I made an effort to avoid it, and did successfully, for 18 months. Things were going from bad to worse at work; we’d had an office change and lost a lot of good guys. It didn’t feel like the same company I’d started working for and my boss was becoming increasingly erratic towards me despite the fact my performance was as good as it’d ever been. A little while later I handed in my notice, deciding to have a brief 2-3 week break before getting back into the working world.
Coincidently, D had also become unemployed a few weeks earlier and as we’d both worked successfully in sales for some time, we had enough money in the bank to mess around a little while before we seriously started looking for work.
We’d buy Drone in bulk as our contact lived several towns over and was extremely stubborn about travelling, so we generally purchased 15-20g every trip. Experiences started with us insufflating anywhere between 2-3g a night, talking ecstatically about anything and everything that entered our minds.
The days quickly turned to weeks. Before I realised it we’d spend nearly two months just bingeing on Drone, I’d crash at his place for days at a time and only go home twice a week to shower and eat something other than takeaway fried chicken. One night, feeling overly intoxicated I left my car parked at his and walked the three miles home. I settled into my couch and turned on my TV, leaving it on an American sitcom as I broke the rest of my stash into the ridiculously sized lines I’d grown accustomed to (generally getting 4-6 lines from a gram).
I decided to up the dosage to experiement and combined three of the lines and snort them at once (approx dosage 0.5g). Within seconds my perception had changed, the brightness of my room increasing as my pupils dilated. I felt intense euphoria and immensely horny at the same time. I decided to watch some porn and masturbate. The pornography was amazingly intense. I could feel each gyration in my own groin; I had chills in my back, the back of my neck. The pleasure was intense and gratifying.
I became more alienated as I tried to match that high. I would stay at home in front of my TV, snorting copious amounts of Drone, watching pornography for hours on end, often being unable to come, sometimes even unable to become erect. It didn’t matter, the experience was so intense and erotic I would just watch, letting the pulses of pleasure run up and down my body.
I lived in a house with one guy and two girls, all friends from university. They all work fairly standard 9-5 Monday to Friday stints. I avoided them for days at a time, staying in my room, only leaving to go to the local Tesco express for supplies. I was drinking a LOT of beer, 1-8 pints daily, as I felt it balanced me out on the Drone and helped me sleep after long binges. I was eating like a teenager, when I did eat, Pringles, Doritos, sausage rolls and pizzas, I’d generally have one meal a day.
I can’t imagine how awful I looked but considering my diet, my lack of sleep, exercise and sunlight, it can’t have been pretty. Of course this made me more reclusive and I’d time my trips to the kitchen and toilet to avoid my housemates. I had missed calls, unread texts and voicemails on my mobile as the only person I was interested in speaking to was my contact.
I’d often run out of Drone in the early houses of the morning and not wanting to risk the drive, would call a cab to pick me up and drop me off at my contact’s house and a cab from a different firm to pick me up for a homerun some time later. The expense was adding up very quickly and combined with the fact I hadn’t worked for several months at this point, things were getting out of hand.
It’s crazy I couldn’t see how much of a mess I was in, both mentally and physically. I gained weight from the alcohol, my diet gave me stomach problems and I’d often be constipated due to lack of fiber or any real nutrition. I hadn’t heard from D for weeks until I got a call from an acquaintance, T telling me D had had a semi mental breakdown and all signs pointed to psychosis. I promised to visit him, but picked up en route and never made that trip. My day went like any other – waiting until my last housemates had left for work, then start racking up lines. I’d lounge, feeling content in the euphoria. Sometimes I’d watch crappy TV, other times porn, or play videogames. I’d drink beer first thing in the morning because I hadn’t slept and it didn’t feel wrong, and I’d eat a handful of Pringles for lunch and another handful for dinner.
My friend’s breakdown turned out to be more serious than we’d all thought. I still hadn’t taken the time to visit him but apparently he was hearing voices, his paranoia was out of control and he’d openly accuse strangers of bugging his home. He went through a terrible, personal hell which I don’t feel is appropriate to share, but he no longer touches the drug or alcohol and is doing a lot better.
This was my wake up call. I had a stern call with my contact telling him not to answer my number again or respond to any texts. I spent a day cleaning my room and was appalled at how disgusting I’d let it get. It’s been six months since I last tried that poison, I haven’t touched junk food in just as much time, have a few drinks at the weekend but largely avoid alcohol. I exercise regularly and run 2-3 times a week. I’m employed again and am slowly working through the silly amount of debt I managed to dig myself into in a few short months. I hope someone reading this will take something from it, that it doesn’t take long to spiral into a state like that, as a few small changes soon snowball into a terrible and damaging lifestyle.
This is the only place I will share how grotesque my lifestyle had become those months and by typing this I feel relieved that I can put it behind me. Thank you for reading.
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