Citation: Pendragon. "It Surprised a Rocket Scientist: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp94373)". Erowid.org. Feb 7, 2012. erowid.org/exp/94373
Subject. Male 59 years, 82 kgm, physically fit.
My previous drug experiences include plenty of cannabis, LSD, mescaline, amphetamines in my early twenties. Nothing in my thirties and forties as I needed five years to 'recover' and develop a career...so I thought I'd left psychedelics behind! I'm a regular meditator with many meditation-induced partial kundalini arousals since being twenty. I had a full kundalini awakening thirty years ago under the influence of rather small amount of LSD. This beats any drug experience I've had; the body's own chemicals are, perhaps unsurprisingly, vastly superior. I was introduced to MDMA during my fifties, and it's been incorporated some ten years into my lifestyle as an occasional treat. I also tried small amounts of mephedrone and methylone recently but left them behind quite rapidly, as not as good as MDMA and I thought mephedrone was dangerously addictive with a comedown that far outweighed the admittedly enjoyable positives.
I'd always been interested in ketamine (and DMT) but never tried them owing to difficulty in obtaining reliable samples, so when a 'not-illegal-yet' analogue appeared in the form of methoxetamine I bought 1 gm from an RC supplier to take a chance. Luckily all my purchases from random strangers over the internet have so far been successful and this was no exception.
Preliminary web research indicated that small doses of methoxetamine around 50 mg would be indicated and that it might take 60 - 90 minutes to take effect.
Setting: At home on my own.
9pm: Put a tiny spot under tongue to test for bad allergic reaction. All clear.
9.30 pm Estimated 50 mg by eye (= 1/20 of full gm) and laid out in 4 lines, Snorted two of them, i.e. approx 25 mg. I had decided to wait one hour for effects before consuming remainder. I carefully wrapped the remaining 950 mg and put it away as this simple act is often sufficient to prevent fiending. (Didn't work with mephedrone but that's another story..)
Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts.
See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]
10.30 pm Definite mild euphoria, relaxation and physically like being slightly drunk...wobbly up and down stairs, but mentally sharp. However a sense that the drug was just starting to take effect. It seemed reasonable to take the rest so I snorted the remaining 25 mg.
Drunken effect rapidly increasing. Realised i) that this was going to be a strong experience and ii) I was not going to want to play with sex toys as I had tentatively planned so I put them all away. (i.e. drug caused an instant shift away from somatic towards mental and spirit domain) The strength of the developing rush was such that I became anxious about dying from an untested RC and decided to spare my aged mother the headline 'Rocket scientist dies in bizarre sex and drugs game'.
11.00 pm Sitting in meditation posture, it suddenly seemed that a Chinese work colleague was an advanced adept who entered my consciousness and communicated to me that everything would be fine, that I was about to be taken on a trip to the central cosmic engine and that I would be brought back again safely, so relax and enjoy the ride. This seemed a strange coincidence (him being a secretive advanced adept) but not necessarily out of the question; his limited spoken English makes him hard to fathom. Anyway his inner telepathic voice was totally convincing and my anxiety was totally allayed. This comfort level at the outset was very different from acid. Methoxetamine opioid receptors or the games of the eternal wisdom? Take your pick. I felt that I might just make it upstairs to lie on my comfortable bed before the second snorts took full effect. I took the drunkard's random walk, laughing at my lack of bodily control and lay down. As a minimum information gain from this trip, I now understood where those stumbling fools on K at music festivals are at.
11.00 pm to 3 am.
As soon as I shut my eyes I rapidly left my body (too rapidly to know how) and went to a place where a finite number of geometric masters control all earthly existence. In their intricate geometric dance they showed me how every atom in the universe is perfectly placed and timed and contains within itself seemingly infinite connections to all other atoms. All possible geometries were being explored by these constructors. These highly evolved beings are always present, inhabiting these exalted planes, while we live out our mundane existences oblivious. For a while they shared their vast intelligence with me and I knew I would go there again myself. I had been there myself before many times between lives, as we all have, and between universes. They are we.
I had seen glimpses of these infinities before on LSD (and forgotten recently just how big infinity is) but on methoxetamine I was accompanied by a series of guides who kept changing form. Amongst many other forms, they had started out in the guise of my colleague communicating by telepathy, then become playful cartoon characters, then the afore-mentioned geometric masters, then as the trip deepened they appeared as insectile winged creatures from an extra-terrestial advanced civilisation. They enfolded me into themselves, aligning my spine and limbs with their many wings and explained that they would perform a delicate piece of psychic surgery on a deep lesion within my brain/mind/body/spirit complex as a gift to remember my visit. They did this, telling me that within a few units of earth time (maybe weeks or months?) I would feel a lot better. (It appears to be working maybe but not as expected. I have for a long time suffered from a neck pain that I associated with an early life trauma...yet another story...and I thought/hoped that they might fix it. What has happened is that I have met a wonderful woman with whom I expect to see out my days).
Time had long ceased to have any meaning, but at the peak of the experience I was taken (guided) into a deep blue womblike space of purest being. Nothing to do there at all! It might have been inside my heart, can't really be sure. Somewhence there were lightning-conducting nerves and spiralling DNA and a backbone made of starry galaxies. I had powerful partial rising kundalini streams, but not a full awakening. As Omar Khayyam said 'But fill me with the old familiar juice, Methinks I might recover by-and-bye'. It's always good to be reminded convincingly that i) Everything is God, ii) God is utterly fabulous and iii) God loves you. It makes life simple.
At 3 am I returned rapidly to my body without much sense of loss. In fact the timing seemed perfectly and exactly correct. I went to urinate and get water to drink. I returned to bed in a state of child-like bliss and my cosmic dreams rapidly gave way to deep sleep. Absolutely zero jitters, basically a brilliant comedown.
I woke at 10 am next day and was only slightly woozy for a few hours but very happy. As the day progressed I became alert and energetic. The following day I went to work (intellectually demanding science) and felt that my cognitive powers were actually enhanced. Mainly because certain negativities and confidence issues about how fast I could think had been tidied up and realigned on a more positive track. This in stark contrast to the few days following MDMA, another firm favourite back at the ranch, but the low-serotonin days do exact a toll.
Well clearly a big thumbs up from me for this first time experience. I wrote this a couple of days after the experience but I'm submitting six months after experience.
When I first looked online about MXE six months back the few other reports on this RC seemed patchy and contradictory..they almost seemed like reports on different chemicals in terms of effect and dosage. So I would like to add my definite glowing experience to the many more that have appeared since then. I was totally astonished and surprised by how strong and interesting this drug was. My old acid days have taught me the wisdom of fully assimilating each experience (when this strong) before repeating.
This trip was as strong as say 250 micrograms of LSD and in fact preferable as the whole thing felt safe, and smoothly guided by benevolent spirits. Maybe they just like me! I'm naturally curious to try it again at perhaps a slightly higher dose and when the time feels right. It definitely has addictive potential for me, and the urge to go back in has arisen a few times, but been resisted.
Since then I have increased my knowledge of K via reading John Lilly 'The Scientist' and K.Jansen.'s 'Ketamine: Dreams and realities' (thanks to you both); it's amazing to find so many resonances. It feels like it would be easy to fall into the trap of substituting regular MXE experiences for real life just as people are sometimes seduced by K.
On the other hand it feels like it could have real therapeutic potential as for instance a quick fix for depression caused by unresolved past life trauma.
Finally, over my years of experimentation, I have come to the opinion that with drugs we can peek briefly through the back window of the cosmic toyshop, but if we want to actually live in there, we have to find and earn the key to the front door.
Don't worry, be happy. Adieu.
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