Citation: Eve. "Seizure and Horror: An Experience with LSD (exp94267)". Erowid.org. Apr 28, 2020. erowid.org/exp/94267
I was 19 years old at the time of my first and only acid experience. To preface, in the year prior to my LSD experience, I had begun my experimentation with many psychedelics and other various drugs. I had been smoking weed for about 4 years, but in the past year I did cocaine, mushrooms, molly, a lot of ecstasy, salvia, and ketamine. I had been with my boyfriend, Adam*, for 5 years, since I was a freshman in high school, and we broke up when I went off to college, but got back together after about 5 months and were and still are head over heels for each other. He moved to a city about 45 minutes away from my college to be closer to me. All of my new experiences have been with him.
I had been dying to try acid for a few months, because my roommate said it was her favorite drug, and Adam had done it before a few times and said it was really mind-opening and a beautiful experience. One evening I was at his apartment with him and his roommate and a couple other guys. We were passing around the bong and one of them said that acid was around town. I was immediately thrilled and we decided that Adam and I would take it the next morning. When we bought it, we bought 5 tabs on a blotter sheet, and all of them were a dark, dark purple, almost black, which I later learned meant that it was extremely potent. Adam wanted to take one but I was over-confident because of my ketamine and shrooms experiences, and I told him we should take two each, because I really wanted to have a full experience. In hindsight, that was my first poor decision.
I told him we should take two each, because I really wanted to have a full experience. In hindsight, that was my first poor decision.
My major flaw, however, was being completely uneducated about that intensity that LSD can have. My mind saw it as the safe drug that all of our hippy parents did in the seventies. Never once would I have guessed what was going to occur in the coming hours.
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
We both took two of the tabs and let them sit on our tongues for about 20 minutes. We then decided that we wanted to play outside because it was a beautiful spring day, and downtown there was a really lovely park. As we were driving to the park, we decided it would be a good idea to get some food, so we stopped at KFC. At this point, it is about 45 minutes after taking the tabs. Just as we got the food, both of us started laughing hysterically over nothing. Everything was HILARIOUS. I started swirling around my mashed potatoes in the bowl and my mouth absolutely did not want the mashed potatoes in it, so we gave up trying to eat, and still laughing, walked to the park. We were exploring, and the visuals started. We were climbing on rocks by a stream, and playing underneath a bridge of abandoned train tracks. The visuals were incredible, much stronger than when I had taken even a quarter of mushrooms, and I was feeling an immense sense of communion with the world around me, like we were all part of a bigger picture, and everything was alive, and with a soul. I surprisingly had the sense to take pictures of what I was hallucinating looking at to look at later, unfortunately, I would never be able to see those pictures.
As the trip continued, our hallucinations were getting stronger and stronger, and I was feeling almost overwhelmed by the fact that I was struggling to control what my mind was thinking. We were having such a good time though, that we wanted to explore elsewhere. To note, the city that we were in is actually a very urban, and very poor city, and we were in the heart of it (the ghetto, if you will). This park was right in the center of the city, and directly surrounding it were the slums. However, due to our hallucinations, these slums and abandoned houses seemed more like a candyland just waiting to be played in. We started exploring this street of abandoned houses, and noticed this feral cat, which in my eyes was transforming into a lion with a full mane. Suddenly, Adam looks at me, but not really. His eyes were looking at me but I could tell that he wasn't really seeing me. 'Are you tripping this hard?...' he asked, hesitantly. I said that I was, because I was tripping balls. Then out of nowhere, he comes running at me, and his neck starts twisting violently as he yells into the air, with a look of pure horror in his eyes. My mind begins to panic and I was hoping that I was just hallucinating. Then he begins to fall and I throw my camera on the ground. It smashes, but thankfully I caught his hand so he didn't hit his head as hard, but he starts seizing! I was screaming his name, holding his head, truly not believing that what I am seeing is real. He's still seizing. Terrorized, I run screaming up the abandoned street for help, and SO luckily, a car starts driving towards me and zooms by me to where he is lying. Its a family. Then another car follows behind, just a man by himself. This is where my trip brings me into the most hellish, disgusting, and painful state of mind that I could ever imagine.
I am screaming, begging God for him to stop seizing and come back to me, I have completely lost control of what I'm thinking. I tell the men that we both took two hits of acid while the mother calls 911. Minutes later, 3 police cars, an ambulance, and a firetruck all pull up and hold me at gunpoint, all the while I am begging them to stop focusing on me and save him. 'He's the love of my life, please don't let him die!' All the while, everyone around me is morphing into creatures that have this evil and terrifying look in their eyes. I still cannot believe what I am seeing is real. They search me, and thank GOD neither of us had any weed or anything on us. Adam is still seizing as one officer yells at me and intensifies my terror by only saying things like, 'How stupid are you?' 'This kills people every day!' 'You'll be lucky if he lives!' There was another officer though, who was at least somewhat sympathetic of my situation, and tried to calm me down, and simply told me to walk away before I got in trouble. I was shocked. Just walk away? I might have just killed my boyfriend, I'm tripping so hard I cannot read the street signs, I'm in a very dangerous part of town as a young girl, and I'm supposed to just walk away? It seemed ridiculous but I wasn't going to fight it. I turned, sobbing, and walked up the street. I called our mutual friend and out of some miracle he found me despite that fact that I could barely speak english, and could only sob 'Adam had a seizure, he might be dead!'
When I got in his car, we and our other mutual friend went searching the local hospitals to find him, and at the second one we did. I'm inconsolable, thinking that I just watched the love of my life die before my eyes because I wanted to do drugs. To describe the state I was in, was nothing short of terror. I could not even look at my own skin without feeling this painfully overwhelming sense of fear, and my hallucinations were only getting stronger.
When we found Adam at the hospital, he was somewhat stable but barely conscious, but only allowed one visitor so one of our friends stayed with him because I was in no state to be in public. The two of us went to our friends dorm to wait out the time until Adam could be released. As it turns out, when he finally stopped seizing and became conscious, Adam was strapped onto the bed in the ambulance, and medics were surrounding him, but he was hallucinating so hard that he thought he was getting mugged, so he fought them off, and ripped the IV out of his harm, so the medics tranquilized him in the neck and he was out cold.
While we were waiting in the dorm, I was trembling out of fear of everything, and constantly feeling like I had to urinate, but was too scared to go to the bathroom alone, so our friend had to take me into the boys bathroom and stand outside of the stall while I tried to pee so I wouldn't freak out. I felt as if my mind was on a precipice, and if I let myself go, I would literally go insane. I was constantly in a war with my own mind to maintain some sort of control, because I knew that if I let go, whatever had happened to my boyfriend would absolutely happen to me. I also was terrified that at any moment we would get a phonecall saying that Adam was dead. It was the most horrifying, and life altering feeling I have every experienced.
Hours later (I don't know exactly how long because my sense of time was fucked, but it was dark), Adam was released from the hospital. We drove to get him and all four of us went back to Adam's apartment. When I saw his face for the first time, my hallucinations were still strong, but the biggest sense of relief I have ever felt washed over me and I began to feel a little better, but I could not even come close to shaking the terror of the day that was still consuming me. I made the two of them stay with us at the apartment that night because to me, they were the only safety net I had, and in my tripping mind, the only thing keeping me from going insane. Adam was so out of it, moreso because of the tranquilizer than the acid, but was just so sad that this all had happened, because they had to call his parents and they were so disappointed, and because it was apparent this the whole experience had traumatized me, and I could barely look at him.
The next morning when we woke up, FINALLY not tripping, we both vowed never to do acid again. Since that day, our drug use has been little to none outside of smoking marijuana, and he is still paying off his $6000 medical bill for the ambulance ride and all of the medications and everything. The whole experience gave me a new understanding of fear, but more importantly, on the delicacy of life. We were both so lucky that day, and I know now never to push my limits ever again.
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