Citation: Psychedelaholic. "Miscalculation Time Loop of Destruction: An Experience with 25C-NBOMe (exp94108)". Erowid.org. Jan 10, 2012. erowid.org/exp/94108
Drugs taken in past 24hours: A couple of ciders the night before and 0.35mg pramipexole taken daily for RLS
Previous psychedelics experience:
Phens: 2C-B, 2C-C, 2C-D, 2C-E, 2C-I, 2C-P + 2C-T2, DOM, DOI, Mescaline, MDMA, MDA, MDE
Trypts: LSD, LSA, Shrooms, DMT, 5-MeO-AMT, AMT, DiPT, 5-MeO-DiPT, 4-HO-MET
Others: Bromodragonfly, amanitas, salvia, ayahuasca
Also very experienced with lots of opiates, benzos, dissociatives, stims, random pharms etc.
I prepared a solution of what I thought was going to be 500ug of 25C-NBOMe or as I like to call it Boom on Saturday morning in preparation for the next day. I had what was meant to be 5mg and upon pouring it into another vial measured it to be 4.5mg so figured I had 500ug left in the other vial. Their was barely anything in the other vial so it seemed fair enough to presume there was only 500ug. Obviously this was stupid as presumption is the mother of all fuck ups but never mind.
I woke up on the Sunday and dropped the solution up my nose, half in each nostril, at midday. I instantly noticed a slight burning and a strong taste which I was not expecting at all from such a small amount of material. This instantly made me realise it must be much more. It started to take hold in less than a minute. The kitchen started to swirl around, everything became very colourful, but the intensity increased exponentially. It became way, way more intense than I had expected very very quickly. Panic started to take hold and no matter what I did I could not shake it off. I tried to reassure myself and tried to calm down but as my world started to become more and more chaotic and as I started to completely lose myself I found this impossible to do.
The body high was very strong, somewhat like high dose of 5-MeO-DiPT but not as unbearable. It had a 2CT2 feel about it but much stronger. Within 15 minutes I started to lose the plot. I stumbled upstairs and stood looking into the mirror in the bathroom. Panic building and visuals intensifying. I went into the bedroom where my girlfriend was still asleep to tell her what was happening. However I was unable to speak but could only convey my increasing dread by contorted facial expressions and manic hand gestures. I then realised I really needed to not freak her out as I knew she would start to worry if she realised I was out of my depth. Unfortunately it was not within my ability to do this. I stumbled away to the 'safety' of the bathroom. I was unsure whether she was worried or not. She asked how it felt and what I was seeing but I couldn't answer.
Then the first problematic situation arose. I felt like I was pissing myself which is a fairly common thing for some people on psychedelics. I stood there feeling ashamed and embarassed but not really sure whether I was or not. I sat on the edge of the bath trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. I suddenly remembered her sister was coming over to pick something up and for some reason thought she was already there. I then got it into my head that I had to retain my dignity and composure. I sat trying to act like nothing was going on, then trying to act all posh and polite. This part of the trip seems so stupid now but it was like I was trying to be an aristocratic woman. Trying to be all posh but at the same time thinking I was pissing everywhere.
I got caught in the first thought/time loop of the trip. Trying to act ok, trying to grip onto what was actually happening, trying to calm myself down and doing separate things for each of these. Round and round my head and thoughts went. Only to be interupted by my girlfriend telling me to come and lie down in the bed. The visuals by this point were similar to a couple of hours into a 500ug LSD trip. Morphing, energy lines, rainbows of colour, crazy patterns everywhere but coupled with a very strong body trip. Sensory hallucinations were as strong as the visual ones. I got into the bedroom and laid down. Unbeknownst to me I would not be able to leave the bed for the next 3 hours.
I laid down awash with colour and still fighting the ever present dread and panic. My girlfriend tried to reassure me but by this point I was losing my sense of self, my ego, reality as I knew and loved was being ripped to pieces. I got caught in another loop trying to work out whether I was in danger or not. I was trying to work out if it was going to get worse, if I was doing permanent damage, if I was going to feel like this forever and the same time as trying to work out if I was inadvertantly giving myself more. I kept thinking I might be accidentally pouring more all over myself, and as I tried to ask my girlfriend, my thoughts would go somewhere else, then somewhere else then loop back round to the same question.
This went on for quite a while until the visuals ramped up. The bedroom became like a lavish tent, decked out on cushions, drapes and silk. This part of the trip was ok to deal with. It felt as if I was at a festival and that everything was in fact as it should be. This did not last very long though. Every time my girlfriend laughed I could not work out whether she was laughing at me because I was acting funny, laughing at me because this was all some big joke/conspiracy against me or laughing to reassure me everything was going to be ok. Her sister then came round and she told me to not make any noise as she didn't want her to know I was fucked up. Unfortunately I began to think things were going drastically downhill for me. Maybe even life threatening. I thought my girlfriend was arranging an ambulance to come and get me and so started the next loop.
I looked around the room trying to again work out what was really happening, certain thoughts would bring me to the conclusion I was indeed about to be taken away, but then others squashed these thoughts with others and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't figure it out. I could feel my thoughts circling and struggled to stop the ever repeating loop. I thought I should just ask my girlfriend if I was in any danger, but then thought I shouldn't as it might worry her. So decided I needed to figure it out myself, but realised I really hadn't read much about this, but came to the conclusion I was probably going to be ok.
I tried to evaluate things like breathing and heart rate. I started to imagine feeling inside my own bones but then started to think I was accidentally pouring more of the drug over me. Then I would get back to the beginning where I would ask my girlfriend if I was ok and so it repeated. This then got more complex as external watchers seemed to form and people either got frustrated with me, found it funny or sympathized. It branched out further to where extra parts of the loop formed in which it would end up with people saying things or making me think things that would set in motion some sort of punchline which visually was making me think of something horrible. It was pictures in conjunction with words that somehow always brought me to a sequence that was inescapable. No matter what I tried to think I would always get swept into the loop. I tried loads of mental tricks to try to avoid ending up at the nasty end. This then started to create a very large and complex multi-layered sequence which repeated over and over adding a single extra thought step in place.
Now the thought loop became the key to trying to figure out whether I was in danger, trying to reach the end which I thought would tell me, but also fighting to stay away from the nasty imagery. People could now see me thinking this process and it quickly became followed worldwide. It was as if people were cheering me on to go further and further as if it was a world record attempt, but at the same time the whole thing was a joke against me but also something I tried to fight, as every time the sequence started things got worse and the bad parts of the trip started showing. It was like peoples lives were being ruined as I continued. I now thought people in the houses opposite were somehow watching which became a repeating theme. As I went through my loop it began to get more complex adding in extra parts which I had to remember. As I went round I could hear people laughing as I reached certain points as if they had been watching for weeks as I had been doing this and could predict my next actions. Time distortion was insane over the trip it felt like I had been through several years.
At the same time as this there was another strand where I felt like there was a massive practical joke being played on me in several ways. One was some sort of game which I can't quite remember. Another was that people were purposefully saying things so that my mind would go to disgusting images. Word and picture loops kept coming back to the same horrible image. It was like people were all tricking me.
Then things started to get really, really nasty. The thoughts in which the loop seemed to be wrecking peoples' lives were interlaced with the thoughts that somehow I was doing something so terrible, so humiliating and disgusting that the whole world thought I was a joke and that I didn't deserve to live. I was completely dissociated and out of the room, I was on the ground outside being pelted with rubbish by hundreds of people. There were ambulances, police cars and my dad all whirling round. This image remained for a long time. However after a while it was as if people understood and whilst some still hated me others were rooting me on to make it through to the other side of this trip. I had lots of different voices in my head. At first I could hear my girlfriend saying she hated me and would never have sex with me again but then it started to change, saying if I made it through this and continued going she would love me even more. By this point I don't think she was even in the house.
I was now starting to get myself back. Images or really random stuff kept flying through me and transposing over everything but I was more in control. It was as if I now just had to ride it out. The loop came back but I could now watch and be amused by it.
At some point she had called one of my friends to come look after me as she was off to work. I vaguely remember coming downstairs and then he was there. I then was sort of sober enough to try to explain my trip to him, although I was still tripping my nuts off. The loop I had been remembering started to make sense to me. It turned out to be a giant loop lasting years and years and years that had been running through my whole life. Old things people had said to me seemed to become punchlines that now only made sense, certain images also seem to now become really significant. The loop then played out as I was trying to explain the trip to my friend. As he said certain things, I felt like I knew he was going to say them in order to make me say something back. I thought he said something like: 'I had heard it was this good but I had to see it for myself'. As if me repeating the sequence was known by everyone but he had only heard about it.
Images rolled across the room, walls disappeared, whole sequences were transposed over myself and my surroundings. Things started to get much much better. It was now incredibly fun and not scary at all. I continued tripping at a much more civilised level for the next few hours. Did some ketamine, smoked some weed then went for a walk. Got some more ketamine and drank some cider. I was now in the realm of pretty colours but nothing else. I was absolutely exhausted. Surprisingly I didn't feel sick or puke once during the trip.
I would say it is easily the strongest psychedelic I have done. The come up was way too fast and the peak much too strong although had I been expecting it and had I simply laid in bed and rode the storm it probably wouldn't have been so traumatic. Having said that looking back it was one hell of a ride and hasn't put me off psychedelics or trying new drugs one bit. I will probably not take it again but only because I know it will never be as insane as this time. Maybe I will one day but for now I am happy looking back at that crazy day and smiling to myself.
I have forgotten a lot of it and there is a lot that is impossible to explain. But to summarize, it was a mixture of being absolutely terrified and completely blown away. I have never had such a strong degree of ego loss and have never fully dissociated except with things like ketamine or DXM. There were also issues of worrying about whether I was breathing enough and keeping hydrated enough which I sometimes get although I was so far gone these seemed like very minor things. Although when I had comedown enough to properly drink a glass of water it was an incredible feeling of relief and gratefulness.
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