Take a Survey on the use of Breathwork
for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, or PTSD
Researchers at Johns Hopkins seek responses to an anonymous survey on breathwork. You can participate whether your breathwork experiences helped or not.
(Must be 18+) Take the Survey!
Bad Ecstacy Experience from a Low User
Ecstasy
by Clare
Citation:   Clare. "Bad Ecstacy Experience from a Low User: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp9386)". Erowid.org. Sep 12, 2001. erowid.org/exp/9386

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  T+ 1:00 0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 80 kg


I took an ecstacy tablet one Friday night at Code in the UK with my friend at a club. This club has intense laser lighting and shows. The lighting is an amazing site! I have taken ecstacy a couple of times before and both times I have been fine. I have also experimented with Base which suits me better.

It was not so much a bad experience, more than a good experience that I could not handle. The effects I felt were normal but there was something about them that unnerved me. Probably many of the 'harder' users of the drug would see this as a mild or normal experience but the way I felt during this particular time has left me with fear and dread of future flashbacks.

I took half of the tablet and felt nothing for about an hour, so I took the other half. Within ten minutes I began to feel hot in the head and I had tingling sensations that were like waves spreading from my toes into my brain. I tried to dance the rush off as usually this helps me get into a rhythm but this was too strong for me to handle. I began to feel out of control and my friend kept reasurring me that I would be fine. It felt like I was fighting something in my mind but I had no idea what it was! My hands began to tremble and my jaw became tight. I could not look at the lights and had to constantly focus on a quiet area in the club. My sense of smell became very peculiar and this panicked me as I was smelling things I had never smelt before. It was as though it was not real and my brain was imagining these sensations. The panic increased until all I wanted to do was run out of the club but my body would not move. I was trapped in a state of shock and panic that did not cease but intensified as I tried to calm it. I had to sit down in the corner and stare at a red light to calm me down. I sat for three hours not moving but constantly fighting the silent battle in my head for control. When the feelings finally subsided I felt exhausted and needed to sleep. For what seemed like 20 minutes had been four hours. I had completely lost track of time.

However the relief that I felt when I knew I had survived was amazing! I felt the most amazing love for my friend who I felt had saved my life! This was probably a good effect of the drug coming into play after the initial rush that, had I been able to control, would only have lasted a few minutes.(One thing I have noticed from other friends is that if they have a bad come up or rush, talking about it to others seems to reassure them and make them enjoy the rest of the night more).

I went home and tried to sleep but could not. On every instance of taking a E I have had wild thoughts like cartoon villages changing shape in front of my eyes and people who talk to me for hours in my head (one was a pale woman with bright pink lipstick lecturing me on something, I cannot remember what and another was a builder who was gorgeous! He was talking through me to what I imagined to be his workmate. Strange I know...) My friend finds herself counting and reciting the alphabet as she tries to sleep.

However after this experience I have had many side effects including panic over the strangest things e.g. reflections of people in my computer screen and e-mails that have moving pictures cause me to have panic attacks. I break out in cold sweats and cannot control what I can only describe as a tugging on the very top of my brain. My neck muscles become tight and it is impossible to relax them and I feel as though my body will go into spasm at any moment if my brain did not fight to stop it. I get involuntary twitches and nightmares.

I put the majority of this down to paranoia but for all of the above I know that I would not have felt this way if I had not taken the drug. This drug does not suit me as I have a paranoid nature anyway. This only exaggerated it.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 9386
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 12, 2001Views: 8,890
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
MDMA (3) : Club / Bar (25), Difficult Experiences (5), What Was in That? (26), Post Trip Problems (8), Depression (15), Bad Trips (6)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults