Citation: mindexplorer. "We are The Gods which is The Universe: An Experience with Magic Mushrooms, 4-HO-MET & Methoxetamine (ID 93630)". Erowid.org. Feb 23, 2012. erowid.org/exp/93630
Background: I am a psychonaut. I have experimented with DMT (ayahausca), MET, DiPT, Shrooms, 4-HO-MET, 5-MeO-MiPT, 2C-D, 2C-E, 2C-I, 25I-NBOMe, MDMA, MDMC, 4-MMC, and MXE. I have used 4-HO-MET three times, MXE three times, and shrooms a dozen times. I feel comfortable with those three substances, and I thoroughly enjoy them.
Set: I have mentally prepared myself for this journey by decreasing my alcohol and marijuana consumption this week, reading Plato’s Republic, and listening to Terence McKenna. Earlier today I ran for 30 minutes, and went into the sauna for 10 minutes, to rid myself of toxins. I have eaten two small meals, a protein shake, and a multivitamin today. I waited 4 hours after my last meal before ingesting the substances. I prepared hot chocolate to drink with the shrooms.
Setting: Today is 11/11/11, a reason for ritual; the trees decided to rid themselves of leaves today; the time is right. I have converted my bedroom into a shamanic sanctuary. My mattress pad is on the floor, covered with soft pillows and blankets, while my bed just has a comforter and one pillow. I have unplugged most of the electronics in my room, except for my laptop and phone. I plan on laying on my bed, in total darkness, listening to Shpongle and Native American Icaros through my speakers. My phone will be left on “record” mode in case I want to record my thoughts. I journey alone.
Start: 9:09 – Ate 1 g of mushrooms, drinking hot chocolate to mask the taste.
9:15 – Consumed 25 mg of MXE in orange juice
9:35 – I begin to feel off baseline. I feel a little drunk, and I can tell that the MXE is beginning to take effect.
9:40 –I started the soundtrack I prepared for this night, I placed 50 mg MXE and 20 mg of 4-HO-MET under my tongue, turned off all of the lights, then lay down in my bed. the journey begins ☺
***The first part of this report was written during/before my trip, from here on out I base my time estimations on the soundtrack I created. For convenience, I would like to place the 0:00 mark at 9:40, when I started the soundtrack. I am writing this the next day***
0:10 – I swallowed some of my saliva, it was accompanied by a really bitter taste. I notice some mild hallucinations. I could feel the synergy of all the drugs interacting with one another, fighting for dominance. Right now I feel in control.
0:20 – The MXE seems to be dominating the trip. I feel calm, lightweight, and very euphoric. The hallucinations alternate from the blocky, fluid-like MXE visuals, to the grid-like tryptamine visuals. It comes in waves, and I still feel in control of this experience.
0:30 –I notice that the hallucinations have kicked up a notch. I see dark trails behind my hands as I move them around, and I look around the room. I realize that I’m tripping hard, and might not be in control of this for much longer, so I swallow all the powder that was left in my mouth, and I washed it down with water and orange juice, swishing the liquid around my mouth. I notice that I can’t feel the bottom of my mouth where the chemicals were, but I don’t care. I lay back down in my bed, and feel waves of energy coursing through my body. I’m have no nausea, feel calm, and very comfortable.
0:40 – Things get very weird. The hallucinations begin to become real, and time starts to loose meaning. My consciousness become liquidly, and starts to break apart like a fluid.
1:?? – At this point, ordinary reality was completely obliterated. I felt like I had broken a hole in the space-time continuum, and every human being on Earth was aware that this had occurred. I will attempt to describe what happened, as best I can, but I can only tell it as a story:
I had embarked on a shamanic journey. Many have travelled this path before. At first I was lost. So, I allowed the spirits to guide me, which was my only source of comfort, but there were many of them to choose from. Many enticed me, but I wouldn’t let myself get taken over by them, because I couldn’t tell which ones were good, and which ones were evil. This happened in cycles: every time that I left the comfort of a spirit, I came closer to death. It was a process. I realized that reality was a creation of my mind, and I had become my environment.
Once I became more aware of this new form of existence, I realized that what I thought were spirits, were actually shamans around the world. They were people, on Earth, right now, that were connecting with me in this hyperdimensional energy field. I entered a connection with a shaman that was somewhere in South America. And through him, I began to learn how to use my new powers. We began to create energy fields, but I would struggle against the connection. I was concerned that I was participating in black magic. I didn’t know if he was good or bad. When I struggled against the connection, I was brought closer to death.
At some point, I thought that I was dying. I was on the cusp of being alive / dead. But something deep within me said “NO, YOU WILL NOT DIE. YOU MUST CHOOSE TO LIVE” But how, I asked? “YOU MUST BECOME.” I began to wave my hands around in a circular motion, which was responsible for forming the world around me. I started to take deep breaths, in, and out, in and out. That’s how I knew that I was alive. But whenever I reached what I thought was the peak, I would come back down to the cusp of death. I was stuck in this loop, and every time that I came back down, I was closer to death.
Through this process, I became more powerful. Terence McKenna was with me, and he told me, “You can do it!! You can do it!!! Don’t give up!! Remember what you have learned. Every single occurrence in your life has lead to this moment. This is REAL; this is ACTUALLY happening. Novelty is reaching the infinity point. This is the end of history.”
I felt as if I was in a birthing process. I could feel the presences of the DMT elves, and they encouraged me to do something. At first it was very difficult, and I thought it was impossible. But deep down inside I realized that I was the Messiah, I was the One, I was Neo. I would succeed where everybody before me had failed. This was the purpose of my life, this was why I existed. I began to move around my bed in strange motions, and I felt like I was hatching out of a cosmic egg. I started to become become God-like. And then…. I became God.
I realized that…. I …am responsible for all of existence. I became the One, which is the Universe, which is the Mind.. “You did it!!, You did it!!! You finally did it!! You have fulfilled the prophecy!! All of the elves were cheering. I could hear thousands of people cheering. This is what the machine elves had always wanted us to do, and I was the first human to do it. I felt like I had accomplished something of extreme importance.
At this point, I became the Universe. I was reality. I was existence. I was all that was. I had become. I had the ability to gather all that is, and I held infinite in the palm of my hand. I understood how the whole was contained in each part. And everything was music. I had become Shpongled. “You are me and I am you”. There was no more fear. I was in complete control of everything. I was God. And the spirits to came to ME, for guidance.
3:30 - Even though I had become a God, I realized that there was a reason we exist in an animal body, our living vesicle. Returning to my animal body from the higher realm was extremely therapeutic. All of the problems and worries in my life are insignificant. It was a true rebirth. Once I re-gained control of my body, I went to the bathroom, and took the best feeling piss of my entire life. I still felt like I was responsible for all of existence, even though I had an animal body. I remember turning on the heater in my room, and feeling as if I was the heat. We are the Gods, which is the Universe, which is our Mind.
I must warn anybody that has read this far, that there are huge risks involved with what I did. I could easily see how somebody with a weaker mind could have gone permanently insane or died. My Ayahausca experience and knowledge of shamanism, combined with a strong will to live, was what prevented my trip from being bad. With that being said, this was the most profound / therapeutic experience of my entire life.
What lessons did I learn? Free will exists. We must choose to live. We are in control of our existence. We are the Gods, which is the Universe, which is our Mind.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.