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Dredging Up Darkness
by Koi
Citation:   Koi. "Dredging Up Darkness: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT (exp93308)". Nov 17, 2016.

T+ 0:00
20 mg oral 4-AcO-DMT
  T+ 4:00 20 mg oral 4-AcO-DMT


A Spontaneous Trip

This was my second trip on 4-aco, and I have had experience with mushrooms and salvia. So I knew what I was getting into when I decided spontaneously that I really wanted to spend the weekend some way other than lazing around sober.

Now my first trip with it wasn't bad. I alternated between an exciting, adventurous mindset and a rather dark place for the entirety of the trip (which was somewhere around 2-5 hours I believe before I started to come down). However even during the dark parts, and around hour 3 when paranoia began to kick in it never turned into a “bad” trip. Nor was it entirely unenjoyable, hence my decision to give it another go.

I was incredibly lucky that I happened to have fantastic weather- sunny and warm on a Sunday so no one would be on the campus near my apartment. I took a fairly modest 20mg (same as I had previously) and my boyfriend who is a significantly larger person than I took 25. We found a fairly secluded hill that overlooked a small field.

When I trip, I tend to become incredibly anti-social. I become paranoid even of whoever is tripping with me
When I trip, I tend to become incredibly anti-social. I become paranoid even of whoever is tripping with me
, hate to be touched, and often find myself utterly unable to make eye contact or speak. I become locked in my own head, which isn't to say that it isn't still fantastic and beautiful in its own way, but I wanted to try something different this time. My boyfriend was already aware of my tendency, having tripped with me before, and he obliged to help talk me through the first hour in the hope that I wouldn't shut him out again (him being very social).

The first two hours were rough in terms of escaping my head. For every moment that I wasn't talking I felt like I was being physically pulled in further. I tried to talk but my mouth wouldn't move, words wouldn't come. As I became increasingly dissatisfied with the world in front of me, I felt compelled to close my eyes. The dark thoughts quickly overcame me. I was still mildly aware that I had been in a fantastic mood since I woke up, that it was a great day, I wasn't feeling stressed, and had no idea why it was happening. But I couldn't get out. One vision, one narrative after another, melding seamlessly together: a screaming woman, an egg heated until the yolk burst and oozed, green turning to blue turning to gray death and a field of wilting corpses. After however long of this, my boyfriend finally started conversation with me. I could open my eyes again. But then the world was unbearably ugly, and the anger and frustration started rising. Everywhere were skeletons- of trees, rocks, bushes. I tried to rest back on my hands and the grass felt like tiny bones pricking my skin. Everything was a “sick” color. Even the clear blue sky became nauseating. I slowly became obsessed with the fact that the color yellow was missing from the world- slowly disappearing and being engulfed by blue/gray/colorlessness. I closed my eyes in order to ignore it and was dragged right back into nightmarish visions that only intensified the queasiness in my stomach and my anxiety.

I don't remember exactly when this ended, but once again my boyfriend began talking to me and slowly worked me out of the negativity. The rest of the trip was nothing particularly story-worthy and I didn't have any more problems with the dark visions. However it was a very different type of trip than I was used to. It seemed like the more social I was, the less visual hallucinations and distortions I saw. This was a little disappointing, however on this occasion it was worth the trade off of becoming severely paranoid in a public place and alienating my trip partner. I could move and laugh and still “feel” the trip as we marched around even if I couldn't “see” it as much.

About 4 hours in we took another dose (another 20 for me, 25 for him). The second “peak” was very slight, but the trip lasted about another 4-5 hours. Coming down felt more gradual than it had before.

I'm not quite sure why 4-aco seems to dredge up this darkness regardless of how good an emotional state I am in. I suspect it may have something to do with my depression, but most everyone else I know seems to find it useful as an escape from depression. As mentioned before, it has not yet turned into a bad trip where I've entirely lost myself, but it brings about a distinct discomfort and frustration. This has never happened to me while on mushrooms or salvia. I do intend to try it again however in a higher dosage. Haven't decided whether or not I like the social trip better (talking nonsense, laughing, going places/exploring, lack of paranoia, distinct lack of visuals) or the internal trip (strong paranoia, strong visuals, introspective, darker) better.

Exp Year: 2011ExpID: 93308
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 21 
Published: Nov 17, 2016Views: 1,245
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4-AcO-DMT (387) : Depression (15), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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