Citation: Neon Angel. "Stimulated Black Out: An Experience with Amphetamines (Adderall) (exp92941)". Erowid.org. Feb 13, 2018. erowid.org/exp/92941
I first discovered the wonders of Adderall in my first year at college. After hearing how helpful it was for concentration and energy, I got it for the first time from a friend with a prescription. I sat for at least six hours straight and wrote one of the best papers I’ve written on a book I never actually read, so after the first try I was very pleased.
Since then, I had been using it intermittently throughout the semester to help with other such assignments and finals studying. After school let out for the summer and I still had a supply of it, I discovered it was also helpful for general use, like just getting an energy boost after a poor night’s sleep. I also preferred to crush and snort the pills in lines, rather than just swallowing it, to get a more sudden and slightly more euphoric effect from it.
One evening I had gotten home from work and was hanging around my house with some girlfriends. I decided to snort a small line to wake me up a bit after a long day so I’d enjoy the social interaction more. I very much did. A few minutes after taking the line I felt a rise in my pulse, and when I rejoined my friends I was more talkative and laughing and smiling a lot. An hour or so passed and they began to simmer down, ready to get to bed, but I ended up staying up several hours past them because of the Adderall that had me still pretty wired. I ended up getting only two or three hours of sleep that night before I had to get up and go to work again for another long day.
The whole day at work I was taking bumps from the capsule that I filled with the crushed Adderall powder whenever I was feeling like I needed another boost. All day I was cheerful, energetic, and motivated, and felt very pleased with this positive energy I was carrying. Over my eight-hour workday, I had probably taken about four even lines from the two capsules I crushed, and they were nearly empty when I took a last line for the evening before my kickboxing class.
When I got there my heart was fluttering, but I didn’t think anything of it really because my heart rate was fast all day. I just thought that not eating enough that day was catching up to me and I was feeling lightheaded because my body was running low on food energy. I left my backpack and shoes in the locker room and took a seat on a bench in the workout area of the gym while I was waiting for class to start at 6pm.
The last thing I remember was standing up to walk over to meet the instructor when it was time for class to start, and then darkness.
When I regained consciousness I was on the ground, a good twenty feet away from where I knew I was standing 15 minutes ago (the clock now reading 6:15). I sat up from the fallen position I was laying in and was immediately hit with a wave of exhaustion and confusion, my whole body feeling tired and heavy but completely weak and weightless at the same time.
“She’s up,” I heard someone say, and I just asked, “…Whaaat?” all slow and groggy, sounding like I had just woken up from a long sleep. Two EMTs were kneeling on the floor next to me and told me I had a seizure and they wanted to take me to the hospital. I was so disoriented and hardly awake feeling that I had completely forgotten I had used Adderall, otherwise I probably would have refused treatment out of fear of punishment by my parents when they found out. But I could hardly come up with answers to the standard questions they ask you like, “What is today?” to make sure you don’t have amnesia or something, so I just agreed to go.
One of them went back out to the ambulance with another EMT and returned with a stretcher while the other sat with me and took my vitals. They strapped me on and wheeled me out the door and were lifting me into the ambulance as my Mom and Dad pulled up in their car behind us (my teacher had pulled my emergency contact information). As I was being secured in the ambulance, my instructor called out to me that everything was going to be okay, but I was still so confused that I didn’t say anything back. From the ambulance window, I saw him talking and gesturing to my Mom, explaining about what had happened. On the drive over to the hospital I tried to remember what happened before I blacked out, but I was so disoriented I couldn’t remember.
When I first got to the hospital, I still couldn’t even say what month it was, but after a half hour or so my memory came back and I admitted to the doctors to taking Adderall that wasn’t prescribed to me. I didn’t get into trouble with my folks because they know I’ve done worse, illegal drugs.
While we were waiting for test results to come back I was informed of what happened while I was blacked out. My instructor said I had walked over to him and the other student there in a zombie-like state, and as he was talking to us I just spun and fell down and started convulsing violently. He held me down for the seizure that lasted longer than a minute or so, and then for the next several minutes I was swinging hard at people trying to get close to me and I was yelling out some nonsense until I fell back and laid still until I came around.
I was told the seizure was caused by the combination of lack of sleep, lack of eating, and amphetamine overdose. It turned out that this hospital visit revealed a large tumor growing, in an x-ray of my chest cavity. So technically, an overdose saved my life, because otherwise the tumor would have probably gone undiscovered until it actually hurt me, so I don’t have any regrets.
I have used Adderall again since then as an efficiency and productivity aid and I haven’t experienced any more problems. But I’m just more careful now about making sure I take care of my human bodily needs and about using safer dosing methods.
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