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Be Careful What You Ask For
Ayahuasca
by balancedthinker
Citation:   balancedthinker. "Be Careful What You Ask For: An Experience with Ayahuasca (exp92773)". Erowid.org. Mar 22, 2018. erowid.org/exp/92773

 
DOSE:
6 oz oral Ayahuasca (tea)

BODY WEIGHT: 145 lb


I followed all instructions. I ate clean for about a year - only organic, chinese herbs, very clean - no drugs....I ate even more bland two weeks before and worked out hard, detoxed- no pork, cheese, alcohol, caffeine, pharmaceuticals, for WEEKS beforehand.

Three days before the ceremony I ate an even stricter dieta of practically nothing -- bland foods like boiled chicken, mashed potatoes, quinoa, etc. The day of - pure dieta - unsalted amaranth and unripened plantains, water only. I did not eat for 6 hours before the ceremony. --- my point --- I could not have have followed directions better. I had the highest hopes. I prayed. I was ready - had my intentions set.

This was the *single most physically painful experience of my life.* This is coming from someone who has lived through a burst appendix, by the way. AGONY is a fair description. The shaking, the amplified hearing, paranoia, and the pain and nausea - I could never put truly into words.

I started out feeling a warmth come across and up my legs. Then I started to see the rest of the group get sick and figured I should exit the maloka in preparation (they give you a bucket - but who wants vomit splash in your hair etc.?) .....anyone who has done this knows that movement is a KILLER. So by the time I got outside - shaking ---- forget it --- the vomiting started. Then about 25 minutes or so in -- the diarrhea started. This diarrhea was like nothing I had ever experienced --- it was as if some sewage sludge was exiting me --- in long patches of uncontrollable lengths. Sometimes I would have to vomit while defecating. Using the abdominal muscles would set it off in either direction - I had no control.

I spent an estimate of 4 hours crouched, moaning, clutching a tree, dodging other people in my group's vomit and panicked run for the outhouse too. Everytime I had to get up to go have more diarrhea, the movement caused projectile vomiting again.

Tripping? Visions? Sure --- if you want to consider me arguing and BEGGING mother nature to allow me some mercy, that was the only thing that was going on for me. I had an awareness that I was being really curt and nasty in my mind --- and maybe that is significant, but not that notable, because I feel that I am typically pretty self aware of behavior I need to improve upon...?

Eventually I felt heat SWEATING off my tongue --- and noticed my pose resembled the goddess Kali. I had no more energy to vomit and I just sat there with my tongue hanging out crouched in a weird position.

After about hour 5 - I went back into the maloka -- the shaman's singing was loud, irritating, and the noise of the rest of my groups' vomit was just unbearable. all I could think to do was just 'ride it out' sit like I would with a horrible flu in a fetal position and wait until the shaman called it done....eventually vomiting again into my bucket.

Perplexing --- there was NO WAY with the vegan diet I was on - the fasting, etc.etc. that what came out of me was normal. This was some cellular level purging. Which of course, cannot be pleasant.

I feel I was slightly mislead by our group leader--- not given fair warning as how hard this detox could be
I feel I was slightly mislead by our group leader--- not given fair warning as how hard this detox could be
--- that's why I wrote this. To warn others. I did not choose to do this again for several reasons, and even a trial of San Pedro made me sick afterwards (which is supposedly rare?) Maybe I was just not cut out for it. I felt like since I had been loosing so much weight in the jungle, felt anemic, etc. etc. --- I trusted my gut and let this be my only ayhuasca experience and I am never doing it again.

Since I came home from the states - I have had INTENSE energetic shifts happen --- lots of weird awareness....my husband announced he wanted to separate - which was devastating... I had a horrible accident and tore ligaments in my ankle....and my priorities just seem to shift like the lenses of a kaleidoscope. I was already in school and on a path to work in alternative healing methods -- but any fear, doubt, or bs that seemed to hold me back came up FULL to the surface and feels insignificant now.

So my summary is this --- if you are truly a self-aware person on a path to healing --- who prays to be given the chance to evolve and set an intention to live beyond your ego ( like I did) ....buckle up. This is not for anyone who isn't REALLY ready to do whatever it takes to heal and evolve. I just kinda wish someone would have warned me --- but wouldn't that defeat the purpose?!...lol. I can see how someone who isn't stable or doesn't have great tenacity might seriously be put over the edge.

And also --- people in my group had total different experiences than me --- and even tried to tell me that perhaps I wasn't as 'evolved/enlightened/clean/detoxed/' as them - which is complete crap. This is a personal experience. So its like forrest gumps box of chocolates --- expect the best and prepare for the worst!

Exp Year: 2011ExpID: 92773
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 36 
Published: Mar 22, 2018Views: 2,631
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Ayahuasca (8) : Post Trip Problems (8), Personal Preparation (45), Difficult Experiences (5), Group Ceremony (21)

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