Citation: tsugau. "MDMA Burnout is Real!: An Experience with MDMA (exp9257)". Erowid.org. Sep 6, 2001. erowid.org/exp/9257
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 2:00
||(powder / crystals)
MDMA -- what a wonderful drug! Let me go back to the first time I've ever taken it. The year was 1989 and the south was flooded with high quality pills being distributed by the Dallas clan. Dosage? Back then who knows, from what I know now, having since done known doses of pure powder MDMA, those late 80's/early 90's tabs were likely 150-250mg per tab. There were usually large and sometimes scored where you could actually half it with a friend/mate and still get 'full effects'.
So I tried a pill finally. Summer 1989. It was a large round flat scored pill beige with brown chips in it. Rumor was that the brown chips were heroin, but this is bull. It was pure mdma and inactive binders. The term for being on mdma back then was 'rolling' and no one had to worry about DXM or PMA or whatever being in these pills, until about 1992-93, when MDE started showing up instead. Those too were called 'smackey' and 'laced with heroin', again this is bull. MDE is simply more stoning and you feel like chilling instead of dancing more often than not.
So that was the beginning. I wasn't in the club scene, so I rarely got a tab or two. If I begged and begged or offered up something else to my club friends, they would bring me a couple tabs. Tabs were typically 15, rarely 20 dollars back then. I would usually take them with my girl. Boom Pow WOW every time. The very first time was a confusing come-on at one hour, my senses were reeling, sounds would float around the room in a doppler effect, and I even being a seasoned LSD/Mushroom user, was NOT ready for the confusing effects. Alas, it was just a matter of letting go and within ten minutes, no more confusion and everything seems soooo new! Flickering vision was very pronounced. Sounds had a very reverbery treble effect. I felt that the moment was perfect and this is how it always is, but we usually can't access it due to our brain 'reducing valve'.
So, between 89 and 93, I probably did mdma 5 times, sporadically, once or twice a year or even two years between. In 93, I got ahold of a 'smackey' pill and even though I realized it was MDE, I knew the times were changing. Sure enough, a couple months later I got some that to this day I have no idea what was in it. I was spinning, wobbly, rushy, head tingles. It wasn't extremely unpleasant as I was in my home and able to maintain. No way could I have gone out. My best guess was maybe ephedrine with dxm and something else as well. So I hung up my MDMA days at that point.
1998 People and connections changed and someone I knew who frequented Amsterdamn came back with pure powder mdma at a reasonable price. I'd bought a couple grams. Carefully measured 125mg in a capsule was awesome. Full blown but not nearly as much jaw tension and teeth grinding. Surely going up above 150mg would have caused some. This MDMA I did over about a 4-5 month period and sometimes two weekends in a row. It never let me down. Always 'rolled' nearly like the first time (come on, you'll never roll like the first time because you are now familiar with it!).
Jan 2001 -- bought a gram from another source. Unlike the Amsterdamn mdma, it took about 160mg to bring the same effects as 125mg. I believe this to be just cut or maybe some impurities, but it was nearly as smooth and definitely better than any 'tabs' on the street. Took about 2 months for me and mine to work through that gram. Every roll the same. Delightful.
Now this brings me to the Summer of 2001. I purchased 2 grams of the SAME batch as the Jan 2001 MDMA. I fixed two 150mg for a close couple who hadn't done MDMA in a decade. They LOVED it. Full on flickers and everything that goes with the MDMA experience. So the MDMA was not questionable.
But my and mine took a 160mg dose. At an hour I can feel just a tingle, usually much more by now. I pour out 100mg and split it between us to snort ~50 each. Well that sorta kicked it in. Sweaty hands, sounds became reverbery to a small extent. Girl of mine said she had some mild flickers. We are definitely starting to feel the magic fade.
I stay clear and free of any psychedelics for a week. I even preload with some 5htp from morning to evening, 50mg here, 50mg there in hopes to bring back that magic. I dose up the rest. This time I'm going with 200mg each to start. Instead of capping mine, I put it in a shot of some dilute lemon juice. Empty stomach (except for the 5HTP). I feel a very lil something at about 40 minutes. I think hey! This might work. 2 hours later, that same very little something and no development of effects. I dump out 150mg of the pure powder on a mirror and I snarf up 100 (ouch) and she does 50mg. Well now I have some sweat on my palms, feel a lil vibration, still nothing compared to what it SHOULD be. I had a few mg of 2ct2 left and I say screw it, dump it and snort it. This was about 7mgs. I feel the 2ct2. Not strong, but there. I still feel no MDMA.
I'll give MDMA a good long break, a year or two, and if I come across the real deal, I may give it a whirl. But for now, I have say goodbye to one of my best friends. Just doesn't treat me right anymore!
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