Citation: Hazel. "A Downward Spiral: An Experience with Opioids, Heroin & Cocaine (exp92118)". Erowid.org. Sep 18, 2021. erowid.org/exp/92118
I started out as a typical 18 year old. I enjoyed partying on the weekends and was a recreational pot smoker and occasional did psychadelics and occasionally other drugs. But I had always had an exceptional liking to opiates.
I had occasionally experimented with weaker opiates such as rockies (oxycodone 30 mg). I was able to control myself and was able to do them maybe once a month. It was more a treat to myself if I had a hard week's work or was dealing with stressful situations in my life. I had always been like this for maybe since I was 12 or 13.
It wasnt until I had gotten a new job at a local Goodwill store that thing started to change. I met a girl who was absolutely gorgeous. She was my perfect type. I thought she was fine as hell. Needless to say we started talking. At work we would talk about the different drugs we did and eventually realized that we both very much liked opiates. She would bring Opana into work and I would bring in perc 30's. Every time we worked together we would get high and fool around in the bathroom. Eventually I asked her out and she said yes.
It then became a regular occurrence for one of us to take lunch and skip out to go pick up pills. Whoever went out of the mission would come back, we would share with one another and then fuck in the bathroom or in the blindspots where the cameras couldnt see us.
I really started to fall for this girl and eventually I decided to move into her apartment with her. My parents werent too happy but that was the least of my concern. When I finally moved in, we hit it off right off the bat. We had everything in common and most of all we were always getting fucked up together.
I didnt realize how many drugs we were actually doing, but eventually I noticed that there was a problem. I went from being able to get high from one percocet 30, to it taking me 3 or 4 and then eventually 5 or 6. Our tolerances spiraled out of control. Between stealing, borrowing money from people, hustling, pawning, we had to do just about everything to support our habits.
Eventually my lover and I decided that pills were to expensive, so we were going onto something stronger. Our drug of choice was clearly opiates but my girlfriend always had a habit of doing cocaine every here and there. I didnt exactly like it, but I would do a few cables with her sometimes. So one day we were going to cop a few 20 bags of powder, and I decided to ask the dealer on the set if he knew anywhere we could get some dope. He told us where, and when we woke up from our coke binge the next morning, I was on a mission.
I woke up my girl, and we both hopped in the car to go to the city to look from some heroin. After driving around for about ten minutes and trying to find my bearings, we finally found where all the dope sets were. We wound up buying 4 bags of heroin and headed back home.
Once we got home, we both sniffed up two bags and instantly dipped out for a good 4 hours. It was the perfect way to come down from our coke binge the night before. I was instantly sucked in by the drug.
After a couple days, we had completely forgotten about buying pills and we were out looking for the best set to get our dope from. After a few not so good bags we tried from different areas, we had finally found a good spot to get some primo heroin. Soon enough we were up to sniffing a bundle a day between the both of us.
This went on for about a month until one day, my friend asked me for a ride down to the city to get some dope with us. He threw me a bills for gas and we were on our way. What I didnt realize was that after we got back to my apartment is that my friend was an IV user. He pulled out his work right in front of me. Set up his rig, and banged out two bags on my living room couch.
This instantly sparked my interest. So I debated with my girlfriend a little bit and was a little iffy about trying shooting up myself. After about 30 minutes, I caved and I wanted to try it. My friend shot me up with two bags and I felt the most peaceful high I had ever experience in my life. It was the warmest most comfortable and relaxed feeling I'd ever felt. It truely was like an orgasm, it was beautiful. Truely beautiful.
Soon after this, my girlfriend tried it and had the same experience. We were instantly hooked. It became a regular basis to hustle to get enough money to cop, buy our works. And bang out bag after bag, day after day. Eventually our tolerances were so fucking through the roof, It cost us 120 a day just to not go thru withdrawal 'which is something I wouldnt curse on my worst enemy.
This went on from a few months, we were able to manage to support our high until someone we had run into buying drugs had mentioned how good shooting cocaine was. Now we had always snorted cocaine before but never realized you could shoot it. So now we have this thought running through our mind.
We drove around the corner, picked up a few fat 10 bags of coke and headed back home. When we got in the door, I threw the coke down, set up my work and banged out half a bag. Instantly I got this rush like no other. Mu heart beats out of my chest, I go deaf, theres a high ringing in my ears, Its like a volt of cool electricity through my chest. I ran into the bathroom and puked in the toilet. But this high was like no other.
So not soon after that, My girlfriend and I began to speedball. Between the both of us we could spend upwards to 400 dollars a day. It was truely disgusting. This went on like this for a while. Our sex drives went out the window, we would fight nonstop, we looked like shit, our bodies were deprived of all nutrients. We didnt sleep right, We were skinny and unfit. We were just all around unhealthy.
Through the course of my drug use I could have put a down payment on a house and had a nice vehicle with the amount of money I spent. If it wasnt for detox and 3 weeks in rehab, not to mention jail and every other legal penalty I had to fight, I'm almost 100 percent I would be dead right now.
Drugs took a hold of me and ripped out my soul. I lost friends, family. And some people I who I cared about the most. It was hard to shake the addiction to the needle and everything that went along with getting high.
As of right now, I'm doing okay. I mostly smoke pot, take my suboxone and just try to do the right thing. I can only hope that the girl I love is doing good right now. I only wish I could help her, but she has to make her own choices. Dont get me wrong I'm not some NA freak. I dont go to meetings or any of that crap. I just try to stay strong and away from the hard stuff.
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