Citation: The Wizard . "The Dragon and the Self: An Experience with DMT (exp92052)". Erowid.org. Jan 16, 2013. erowid.org/exp/92052
||(powder / crystals)
Although this is my first real experience with DMT I’ve had extensive experiences primarily with LSD and psilocybin from my late teens to late twenties. I’ve used LSD and psilocybin for meditative enhancement and consciousness introspection. Before I go any further I want to mention that nothing I’ve read or learned about this substance, which was a lot prior to taking DMT, prepared me for what actually happened tonight. My experience is entirely subjective and may or may not correlate with other individual’s experiences. In my life I’ve thoroughly utilized and enjoyed entheogens for personal and spiritual growth. I’m learning more and more as time goes on about the respect involved in taking these substances. They are not child’s play. This experience is by far the most expansive with many stones left to turn. My intent was to expand my consciousness and see how deep I could go in a short time span due to the substance’s effect.
I’m calling this experience the ‘first’ although I had tried a very small sample of the batch of DMT I had extracted to see if I was heading in the right direction a few days prior. (That first sample did nothing compared to what I'm about to divulge...) I’ll briefly explain how that experience went at the end of this testimonial. Regardless, I had finished multiple extractions and had tested the product a few days prior so I decided that tonight was the night to see if I could have a deep and transformative experience like I had researched and read about for quite some time. My girlfriend was very tired tonight so she did not want to partake but she informed me that she would be nearby in case I needed anything. (I love her, she’s the greatest) I chose to use my large water pipe and loaded some cannabis ashes in the bowl, set a high amount of yellowish white DMT (90mg) on the ash with some tweezers then covered it with a little bud I had grown in my garden earlier this year. I did not take any other supplements or herbs. I turned on some Tibetan meditation music and centered myself for a few minutes. Once I felt grounded I took a deep breath and grabbed the water pipe. I checked my clock at 12:00AM then took a galactic hit and relaxed on the couch while exhaling sweet smoke of cannabis and Deem…….
As soon as the back of my head touched the pillow I muttered, “Oh wow…”, and I felt my head tilt over to the left as I suddenly lost connection with my body and felt the couch sink into the ground. The first thing I thought was, “Well buddy, you did it this time. You put too much in there. You’re in it for the long haul…way to go.” I couldn’t feel my body but I could still technically ‘see’ and had a field of vision. I wasn’t exactly physically high since I had no physical body, my consciousness was condensed to my field of vision and I felt like a body of energy or thought. My consciousness felt as if it was around eye level to a few inches higher. The separation from my body was very abrupt, startling, and sudden. It took me a second to gather my wits through the ‘blackness’ of transfer from one level of consciousness to the other. I suddenly found myself in outer space, or some sort of space. I knew I existed, but not as the normal ‘me’ that I, my friends and family know. I was simply an observer, of what I had no clue yet, and my ego had been completely smashed and obliterated to a pulp. I was extremely startled at first. I forgot who I was. I had forgotten everything about myself in the 3rd dimension. I had no sense of time. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t feel a heartbeat but I did feel a never ending burst of ‘energy flame’ residing in what would be my heart if I had one. Words really don’t give this experience much justice so please bear with me….
I couldn’t move since “I” really didn’t have a self to move with. I found myself as a piece of energy consciousness suspended in a dark multidimensional space with what I perceived to be an even darker ‘line’ in the distance that seemed to be rotating my way. (It sort of looked like a huge piece of space debris floating towards me.) When I tried to focus my attention on it, it would grow another line that would pop out of one of the sides of the initial line. Suddenly, there were flashes of wave energy that originated from what I perceived to be a horizon in the dark distance behind the line. I then heard, “This is love,” and I felt a level of love and peace that I can’t really put on paper. This love was similar to what I had felt when meditating alone without substances but much stronger and coupled with visuals and sounds that linked to my feelings at a higher vibrational level. I felt a lot of electricity. The flashes lit up the space I was in and the feeling of being dead and away from my body grew. At this point I believed I was in this space forever. Although initially startled, I had no problems with being there whatsoever.
Once I realized that I was dead and I had ‘let go’ and was startled by this HUGE golden dragon that burst out of the horizon. It was the size of multiple galaxies and it radiated electric energy of various colors. Although I had no ‘ears’ I could still hear. I suddenly heard, “This is your channel. You’re building this channel. Let this transmission be manifested.” I then thought, “What else is on my channel?” After thinking this the black space shattered and I was suddenly floating in front of four squares that were connected and formed a cross in the middle. There was what I perceived to be a ‘Buddha’ in one square and ‘Shiva’ in another. I had no idea why they were there, but it seemed ok to me. I’ve read on these religions but have held no particular following or dedication to either. The other two squares had dragons and there were spinning yin yang symbols on the corners of the squares. At this point I thought I was still dead and I had been there forever.
I stayed and ‘communicated’ with these entities for what appeared to be an eternity. (We were exchanging what I perceived to be vibrational tones and pings) I was then suddenly distracted by a ‘blemish in the construct. It seemed to be a ‘blur’ that didn’t belong in my field of vision. Once I noticed this I started to hear the meditation music and felt a split in reality. I tried to refocus on the Buddha and Shiva as they would flow with the Tibetan meditation music that I had playing back in our dimension of reality. Every track on the CD represented a different chakra point and I suddenly realized that the music was coming from my living room. As soon as I realized this I stared at the Buddha and Shiva for some reason and I heard myself on the couch muttering, “Ah, I see what you mean.” (This may have been the spoken translation of the vibrational tone I was sending at that very second) Right after I said this the Buddha and Shiva looked at me startled and changed color. They put their fingers on their lips and said, “Sssshhhhh”. I immediately said, “Oh my. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to talk with that voice.” My field of vision started to morph in and stretch in a chaotic manner. The square started to spin and I started to realize that I wasn’t dead but that I was out of my body and due to return at some point. The more I lost focus and started realizing my 3rd dimensional self laying on the couch, the more distorted the square and figures became. I started to feel my heartbeat and it was racing at high velocity. I felt a little bit of panic. I suddenly heard, “Focus on us. Please stop focusing on yourself. You can’t talk to us with him. You must recalibrate now. Come back next round.”
I then felt the urge to focus more intensely on my surroundings so I could forget I was lying on the couch. I could feel my heartbeat going away. It took a few seconds but I found myself feeling ‘detached’ from my body again. I then heard, “We must go to the other side so you can return to where you were just at.” I faced a new challenge with the sudden shift from higher to lower consciousness in the middle of the vision. I found myself once again in a suspended space but there were dark shapes and humanoid forms floating around everywhere. I heard, “This is part of the self, selfishness.” They looked like demon and goblin clouds but they weren’t threatening in any way. I replied, “Yes, that makes sense.” For some reason I then realized that I had the ability to zoom in and out to pinpoint anything I wanted to see in extreme detail. A white square would form around a nebulous demon face and would become more detailed and animated. What’s strange here is that I heard another ‘version’ of myself annotate, “Yes, everything must be categorized. Everything has its purpose.” I started to see different nebulous forms ranging from ebony to bright white.
I then heard, “You see? They are like seasons. Things are built and things are broken down. It’s a beautiful cycle.” I once again replied, “Yes, that makes sense.” I then heard a soothing voice say, “Don’t start thinking that you’ll stay like this forever, it’s always changing.” I then experienced another round of visual ‘seasons’ of positive and negative energy in my field of view and saw various beautiful nebulous blasts of what appeared to be cosmic rays and explosions. My field of vision was engulfed in high speed lights and animated whizzing sounds. I started to get engulfed in the visions and began to once again believe I was dead and traversing some other dimensional plane for eternity….
The lights and sounds suddenly stopped and I was once again in that dark space where I had started the quest. I felt comfortable here but I felt the presence of two large converging forces on either side of me. I once again had no sense of ‘self’. I was more of a neutral observer. To my left appeared a cosmic force of what I perceived to be Aztec or Mayan warriors and to my right appeared a force of what appeared to be Knights Templar in full armor and shields. (Yes, with red crosses on them.) They were clashing in the middle of this floating galaxy with vivid colors and bursts of sounds and lights. I was so deep into this vision that I wasn’t even realizing at the time that the meditation music was coming from the living room. It seemed to blend in with the vision perfectly and the entities I was seeing were intelligently dancing and fighting to the music and even changing their colors and dimensions moments before the music would transform at critical note changes as if they knew what parts were coming up. I suddenly heard, “These forces are clashing for channels.” The voice then said, “There’s way more here than meets the eye.”
I suddenly felt a vibration in my field of vision and I started seeing different symbols and images all around. Some were organized and some were very chaotic and dismembered. (Complete random images) I felt as if I was flying through all of these images, like going through a tube. After what felt like an eternity of gathering random information while hearing a narrative voice explaining what I was seeing, I started to feel myself getting closer to my body and my living room. I could then feel my eyes and face. Next, my chest arms and legs. I finally opened my eyes and everything in the room was vibrating and the meditation music was still humming away. It was 12:21AM. That entire experience took 21 minutes. (I think that’s a fairly long time compared to average) It felt like an eternity. I was very excited to say the least and I had a strange vibrational body high. I pulled out my laptop and started typing…..this was an amazing first experience. I felt a connection to that space that I can’t really explain any further.
This is the 2nd time I’ve tried it and the first time I purposefully only took a miniscule amount to make sure that my extraction had gone well. (I’m thinking I had beginner’s luck) The first experience had mainly visuals, no out of body experience, but I saw a Golden dragon, Aztecs, Mayans and squares with figures in them. I find it interesting that I went back to that place again; since I took a sure fire amount to ensure a deep ride. (Sure fire amount for me, 90mg) I’ve never experienced an ‘ego smash’ like that as well. It was a taste of death that held no fear at all. (Although I was startled) It was very natural and more of a simple transition. It’s definitely educational and worth learning to master the smoothness of the experience. I find it very interesting and valuable to be able to learn about what is perceivably an eternity’s worth of feelings and information in 21 minutes. Being startled like I had been really woke me up and I feel more alive now than I have in a long time. It seems that the ‘self’ can get in the way with the smoothness of some of these experiences. I seriously thought I had died and traveled to another reality. Now that I’ve felt that transition maybe I won’t think I’m dying again the next time. Not that it really matters. I’m looking forward to building more on this channel…
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