Citation: HippiexChild. "Replaced a Habit with a Habit: An Experience with Buprenorphine & Naloxone (Suboxone) (exp91872)". Erowid.org. Aug 29, 2011. erowid.org/exp/91872
First, let me give you some background on myself. I'm a very experienced drug user. I've experimented with marijuana, cocaine, heroin, pills of all various sorts, DXM, 2C-B, Ayahuasca, Belladonna, LSD, PCP, Ketamine, Mescaline, Peyote, and etc. So I know what I am doing.
It all started when I was about 16 years old. I would go to town, and hang out with people. Well, I met people who were into marijuana. So I started to smoke with them every weekend. Well eventually it got to the point where marijuana got boring, and I graduated to pills. I started taking DXM every weekend. Then after that, I started doing it every other day. Then it got to the point where I wanted to experiment with other drugs to find 'my drug of choice'. I finally landed on pain pills, and as a recovering drug addict, pain pills is what I lived for.
The first time I ever took pain pills, it was like no other feeling I had ever felt before. I had to do it again. Turned out I was doing it everyday. My mother had pain pills in her medicine, so I had easy access to get them, plus it saved me lots of and lots of money. My tolerance to them built up very quickly. It got to the point I could drink loads of alcohol, and take pain pills, and still feel ok. When I look back on it all, it was the stupidest thing I had ever done. I'm just somehow surprised that I made it out alive. I will explain more about this now.
I became known around my town as 'The Skittle King', because I was always taking Coricidin cough and cold pills, and we called them 'Skittles'. Well one day, I overdosed on DXM. After my overdose experience, it kind of made me start thinking really deep about my life, about the purpose of it, and why I did the things that I done. During this time, I had never felt so low in my life. I hit 'rock bottom'. So I decided to clean up my act. I started trying to quit my addiction to pain pills, but I had no success at all. The worst thing out of all of this was I disappointed my family. I would steal my mother's pain pills to support my habit, and she would barely have enough to get by for the month.
So, one day I'm finally taken to the local mental health clinic to see this doctor. We all call him Dr. G. He tells me he can help me quit, that their is this drug called Suboxone that will help me detox off of the pain pills. He talked it over with me about what I needed to do to start taking it. He said he had to have a special license to prescribe it, and he also said that he was the only doctor within 50 miles that gave it out. He did say that the drug would give me a little high, but it was nothing to worry about. Me being me, I was exceeding glad that I had found this drug. I considered it the easy way out. I should have known that there is no easy way out, especially from a drug addiction.
I was 19 the first day I took suboxone. I had just started going to college for an associates degree in computer support. I had never been so high in my life, and I've done loads and loads of drugs before. I felt too good that day. I went and asked the doctor about it, and he told me it was normal, that I would build up a tolerance to it later on. I've been taking this drug for about 4 years now, and now it's getting close for me to graduate from college. I've always said when I've graduated from college, I would get off of the Suboxone. Now I'm starting to regret I ever took this drug. I'm dreading the withdrawals I'm probably going to through as I taper down off of it. I keep on wishing I had just went through the withdrawals from the pain pills I was taking, cause the withdrawals from Suboxone could last for MONTHS, at least that's what I have heard. I did go a week without Suboxone one time, and I felt like I was dying. I don't want to go through that again. Suboxone is very expensive at the pharmacy if you don't have health insurance. I'll admit, Suboxone has helped me stay clean, but it just wasn't worth it.
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