Citation: Italiano. "On Top of The World: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp91663)". Erowid.org. Sep 20, 2011. erowid.org/exp/91663
To begin, I would like to say that I have been a consumer of psychoactives since I was 13. Being Italian, I drank wine for the first time at about 8 and got drunk off it for the first time at age 13 during the holidays. I frequently smoked cannabis that same year for the first time, then leaving everything alone until about age 16. After that I moved on to different substances, including MDMA, salvia divinorum, Adderall, methylphenidate, DXM, and finally, cocaine. I'm 18 now and have my own place. I work constantly and also go to university in the city during the week. For the most part, I only drink, smoke cannabis, and occasionally take Adderall on the weekends.
I never thought that I would try methamphetamine simply because it was never available to me where I live in the Lower Mainland of British Columbia, close to Greater Vancouver, a hub of illegal drugs entering the country from suppliers in Asia and South America. I knew crystal meth was around, just not with anyone I know. This summer I recently met someone who does it regularly and I asked to try some with him, just out of curiosity. After a few months my friend, 'Charles', finally took me back to his place after we got off work (we're co-workers) and showed me the ropes.
The experience was much different than I expected it to be, mainly because of how the chemical is portrayed in the media. I hadn't lit a glass pipe before, so he did it for me. The actual chemical came in a little baggie, with one huge crystal and several smaller ones and about 1/8th gram of tiny crystals. After we left work and bought our stash, it was about 10:30 PM when we actually arrived at his house.
I was told to let it first start to smoke, then inhale while slowly rotating the pipe. I followed his instructions and took a long hit (I've only ever smoked cannabis before so I assumed it was similar). The smoke didn't burn like cannabis and I was concerned I didn't do it right, at least until I exhaled. A big, billowy, white cloud came out like a ghost. I was surprised it didn't burn, not like cannabis does. It had a strange taste to it, slightly similar to the taste of cocaine. After exhaling, I took another large hit off the glass pipe and again exhaled the thick, beautiful smoke. I felt the first effects almost immediately.
The effects most closely resemble those of about 60mg of the instant-release form of Adderall, which is understandable since methamphetamine is almost the same chemical. For those unfamiliar with Adderall's effects, it is unlike anything else. I would describe it as a sudden 'awake' feeling, followed by increased heartrate, a sudden 'light' feeling as if my body weighs less, and a feeling of restlessness coupled with the urge to do something. I feel 100% more confident and my self-esteem gets a huge boost. I feel like I can do anything (though not like the 'superpower' feeling portrayed in the media). With these positive effects come some negative ones, such as increased anxiety and slight paranoia (worsened by very high or repeated dosings). Sleep is near impossible and the appetite is suppressed to the point that even thinking about food repulses me.
After I smoked at my friend's house, I drove to go see a film at the theatre with a friend of mine, 'Diana' [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
. I enjoyed the film, but I found it very difficult to sit still and keep my phone put away during the entire show. I only wanted to listen to some music and dance like when I take MDMA tablets. I kept having to remind myself not to talk during the film, which was very hard to do. I felt like I wanted to discuss everything, from politics to sports to life in general with her and could barely contain myself. The show ended around midnight, and she had to work early so she wanted me to drive her home for the night.
About an hour and a half after the initial hit, I was less 'up' feeling than before, yet definitely still stimulated. My favourite dance music filled me with an urge to party while I drove her back home and we did a lot of talking about relationships and work, very meaningful conversation. She was very curious how methamphetamine felt and I explained it in the parlance of a pharmacist. After taking her home I went back to my place and just listened to music and exercised a little.
Still talkative, I called my other friend 'Camilla' and we talked about work and 'stuff' in general. I mentioned how I smoked crystal methamphetamine for the first time and she asked me about the effects. After we got done talking I went on the computer and did my budget for the month like usual, except with much greater concentration. Doing menial and normally boring tasks such as this became so much more interesting. I finished my budget in about 30 minutes and went to play games on my iPad. My hands were slightly shaky and it made tapping on the screen a little more difficult than normal. I was very focused on the game, as if it was real. I payed very close attention and got a little anxiety from it as well.
The worst part of any stimulant for me is the subsequent 'crash', and this was no exception. About 5 hours after smoking, about 3:30 AM, the euphoria subsided and I was left with an apathetic feeling. The urge to talk and be productive was replaced with a feeling of not wanting to talk to anyone or do anything except just sit by myself. It was even more unpleasant because I couldn't sleep at all. If I forced myself to do something on the computer, such as playing Sim City, I found that I could forget about the crash feeling a little. Time made the crash worse, though, and I eventually just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I didn't feel depressed or sad at all, just simply apathetic. I couldn't feel anything. After dealing with this feeling for about two and a half hours, at around 3 AM, I decided to try smoking some cannabis to go to sleep.
After smoking, I was slightly less unhappy and I went and started watching some television. I couldn't bring myself to laugh at even the most comedic of programs and it was like someone stole my birthday (as my mother would say) or I just got broken up with and was heartbroken. The cannabis's effects made the crash feel like so much longer than it actually was. It seemed to drag on forever. I finally got fed up and lit up a very large bowl of cannabis, my goal to get so high that I couldn't stay awake any longer. At this point it was nearing sunrise and I was getting irritated with the insomnia that it brought. I smoked quite a lot and was extremely stoned, almost like when you eat too much of a pot brownie. The level where you can barely walk or keep your eyes open. I climbed into bed and eventually I did fall asleep at about 6 AM.
I woke up just before 11 AM. I was sweating from being under my blankets all night, because the meth made me a lot warmer than I normally am. I showered and had some coffee before looking at myself in the mirror to see my pupils. Having dark Mediterranean eyes, my dilation was visible but less noticeable than if I had light-coloured eyes. I also noticed some slight flushing of my face, but nothing too bad. I still felt somewhat apathetic, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the previous night. I couldn't eat at all still, and I had no urge to even attempt to go back for more sleep. I could still feel elevated heartrate and alertness, but nowhere near as strong.
I spent the day doing some minor chores around the house and watching Family Guy episodes on my iPad. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't as apathetic and pissed off anymore. I even managed to laugh a little. By the time I got to work at 5 PM, I felt completely normal, save for some fogginess caused by less sleep than usual. At that point the chemical was almost out of my system. The night went by without any major problems. After getting off work and smoking before I went to bed, I was able to fall right asleep and woke up the next day feeling completely normal.
In retrospect, I would have to say the effects of methamphetamine are very close to Adderall IR. They are definitely enjoyable and I can be quite productive while on it. The crash was a pain, but not completely terrible, nowhere near as bad as the comedown from snorting methylphenidate (Ritalin) or repeated lines of cocaine. I think my mental state before the high determined how bad the crash was. If I'm generally happy I do fine. If I'm depressed I may feel much worse after. It's completely subjective, I believe.
I can see how this chemical is so addicting, due to its particular effects on the body, and I'm glad I don't have my own supply of crystal meth. I once used Adderall XR's to stay awake for three days and I only had to do it once to know never to do it again. Staying awake by repeated doses only worsened the negative effects of the high, like anxiety, paranoia, and pupil dilation. I never want to do that again, and meth could do the exact same thing easily.
To sum up the entire experience, I would say it was a positive one because I practised self-control. I didn't repeatedly dose and I never over-exerted myself while I was under the influence. I retained control of myself and surroundings and I believe this is the key to safely using methamphetamine, for any user. If given the opportunity, I would probably do it again, just not when I have to be quiet, like during the film. I enjoyed using meth, but I think I will probably continue to only buy Adderall simply due to low cost and predictability of a prescription's purity and dose.
Methamphetamine was quite enjoyable, but I figure must be used in moderation. It is a powerful chemical.
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