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A Depressing Addiction
Zolpidem
by saddenedbyambien
Citation:   saddenedbyambien. "A Depressing Addiction: An Experience with Zolpidem (exp91372)". Erowid.org. Jun 14, 2020. erowid.org/exp/91372

 
DOSE:
  repeated oral Pharms - Zolpidem (daily)

BODY WEIGHT: 230 lb


Back in 2008 I was prescribed Ambien (zolpidem) to help me sleep after I was in a car accident. I never knew that this drug would be with me for many years later (and still is as of this post)...

At first, I loved the hallucinations that Ambien would give me at night in the dark. If Ambien didn't relax me as it does, these things would maybe be scary but I found them very amusing. One point I had a delusion that I was working in a factory (as I was in bed trying to get to sleep).

At higher doses of 30-50mg, I would begin to have massive memory loss or blackouts. I found my camera one night with a ton of pictures taken that I don't remember taken. I was outside taking pictures, wondering around. Kind of a scary thought that I was wondering around like this with no memory at all.

Later on, I became addicted to the point I would take them during the day to enjoy the feeling that Ambien gave me. It would make me more social and make boring things more amusing. Yet over time, this became a mistake. When the come down started, I would become SEVERELY depressed.

This drug caused me to lose 2 girl friends as well as friendships because my decisions became mal-adjusted to the drug. I would decide the wrong thing to make things right. Instead of making a problem simple, I would make it worse.

I even began messaging (texting) people about how depressed I was and my thoughts of killing myself. I even sent them a picture of a pistol I have saying I was going to use it even though I never had this intention.

This drug never led me to the hospital.

I would like to become non-addicted to it but its taking time to get off it.

I also had a period where I was stuck with Ambien CR where I would be dealing with the same side effects but for a longer period of time.

My addiction to it is not physical but psychological as they say. Medical Journals say that the drug is not addicting but it is, it also builds a tolerance real fast so I have to take more than two to get the effects.

A bottle of 30 - 10mg - pills would only last me a week or less. It got that bad.

I am working on it by simply avoiding it at all costs...

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 91372
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 21 
Published: Jun 14, 2020Views: 262
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Pharms - Zolpidem (143) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Medical Use (47), Depression (15), Not Applicable (38)

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