Citation: sinistermuffin. "Surprisingly Therapeutic Candy Flip: An Experience with LSD, MDMA & Zolpidem (exp90973)". Erowid.org. Dec 8, 2012. erowid.org/exp/90973
Before sharing a report of my most recent experience, I feel a bit of background information is necessary. I am a twenty-two year old female weighing in at around 95 pounds (or ~43 kilograms) who has dabbled in drugs since the age of eighteen. I have taken MDMA, both in its adulterated and pure forms, around 8 times, salvia I have done once, LSD I have dropped four times at varying quantities, 2C-D I have done 3 times, cannabis I have smoked 4 or 5 times, and DMT I have done twice.
The experience about which I am writing now was a candy flip – a combination of LSD and MDMA. The LSD was acquired around 6 months ago from a friend, averaging around 100 micrograms per blotter. [Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]
The MDMA was molly, a gift from a friend, in its pure powdered form – and said to be mixed with either 2C-B or 2C-I (though our friend was not sure which, it was said there was only enough to “add a little color”). As stated previously, I have tried both LSD and MDMA separately in varying quantities before; I also candy flipped once back in October 2010, so this was my second time.
In total, there were four participants in the candy flip that occurred four days ago, on Thursday. Other than myself, there was my boyfriend, D, who has previous experience with LSD (around 5 times total), MDMA (3 times total), and candy flipping (once before – with me). The other two are mutual and trusted male friends of ours, B and H, who both have done LSD about 3 times, but this was their first time taking MDMA. We were doing this at B’s apartment and informed a good friend (and D’s roommate), who has some experience, of our plans as a safety precaution.
We had 3 blotters of LSD to split between the four of us; B and H had bought a gram of the MDMA/2C-? mix while D and I had been gifted an unknown amount to split between the two us by our friend. (Thankfully D owns a scale and was able to check the quantities.) Because researched candy flips a bit beforehand, D and I decided to pre-load with 250 mg of magnesium and 50 mg of vitamin B-6 the night before.
Around 11 AM we all met at B’s apartment to begin preparations – we figured out things each of us wanted to do and/or get from the experience before setting to doling out doses. As D prepared them, I took one 100 mg capsule of 5-HTP as a jump start for the MDMA since my brain often produces low levels of serotonin.
Finally, around 1:20 PM, D had everything ready. The LSD had been split, MDMA measured and laid out for each person, and a hit of DMT had been prepared for each of us – just in case we wanted to indulge – for later. So that we would hopefully synchronize the peaks of the LSD and MDMA, we decided to wait and eat the ecstasy around 3 hours after sublingually ingesting the LSD. Because I was looking mostly for an ecstasy high and am often easily influenced by psychedelics, I took only 1/3 of one blotter paper (around 33 micrograms) while each of the guys took around 88 micrograms each.
Now it was time to wait. I was finishing some schoolwork and the guys decided to entertain themselves with a video game to pass the time. After about 30 minutes I noticed it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on my work, while the guys became gradually more. It took me 15 more minutes to finish my, so I was trying to ignore any signs of a come up. Though retroactively I realize there was a slight blurring of vision, I was having more and more trouble focusing, my heart began to beat a little bit faster, my stomach began to churn uncomfortably at times, and I had a sudden urge to urinate around the 40 minute mark.
Once I had finally finished the work, I could truly focus on getting my mind ready for the trip. After relieving myself, I returned to the living room and got comfortable on the couch. B and D were trying to figure out a game level while laughing boisterously (which improved my move and mindset as well) while H recorded his come up experience in his journal. Gradually, I began to feel more of a body buzz. My stomach continued to churn discomfitingly, my temperature began to fluctuate slightly (wrapping myself in a soft blanket helped with this immensely) and watching the game on the screen slowly moved from being entertaining to somewhat bothersome. It confused and frustrated me that we were having trouble focusing and I was getting confused by the level. I could tell H was getting anxious to move onto something new as well, and we began urging B and D to stop playing once they had finished the level – they obliged.
B turned on the “Planet Earth” visualization on his PS3; I think it was around 2:30 – 2:45 PM at this point. Once they turned the game off and we chatted, I became more comfortable with the body buzz. I no longer had to shift positions every few minutes, my temperature leveled out, and the uncomfortable stomach churning and nausea I had begun to feel slowly faded away. I started to enjoy the experience more as the come up continued. Colors sharpened and there was a slight movement of objects like the ceiling. White lights had a slight rainbow hue to them. The ceiling appeared to have a transparent layer which swam and flowed like water over the textured under-layer. B turned on the ceiling fan to cool off.
I got more comfortable in my lying position on the couch and urged D to come and cuddle with me, as he is warm and his presence is always very comforting to me during trips. As B prepared a record (Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd), D and I adjusted ourselves for comfort, with his head lying on my chest while I laid back and closed my eyes. For the first time that day, I really took in the closed-eye visuals I was having – it took me a moment to realize the music had started to play. At first, I tried to describe what I was seeing – rainbows, spirals, checkerboards...I find it difficult to explain even now. D said that he began to see what I was seeing as I told them, but eventually the images began to shift so rapidly that I could no longer describe them but only sit back in awe and enjoy.
Before I knew it, the first side of the record had finished playing. As B got up to turn it over, I sat up and leaned against D while watching the ceiling fan and the way it played with the light as the song “Money” began. D tried explaining what he was seeing to me, but I was unable to see his visions. I think this is because our eyes were open now and I had not taken as large of a dose as he had; this disappointed me because I really enjoy being able to share, but I opted to close my eyes and got lost in my CEVs again.
Time passed much more quickly than expected (the time lapse effects of the acid had kicked in by now) and the record stopped sometime after 4 PM. Dark Side of the Moon was a better choice than I had originally expected for a come up – I am a big fan of Pink Floyd so it was very enjoyable for me. Their music mixed with my wonderful CEVs had put me in a good mood; everyone seemed very content with where their trip was going. We each took bathroom breaks and H and I ended up on the balcony outside before B and D came to tell us that it was 4:20 PM; in other words, we had reached the 3 hour mark and it was time to eat the MDMA.
D had prepared the dosages earlier based on our previous experiences and expectations, so B’s dose was the lowest, around 100 milligrams. H’s was closer to 150 mg. D split what we had been given in half, as we were told it was enough for “two people to have a good night” and it measured to around 200 milligrams each. H and D took theirs immediately. B was hesitant because he had never taken MDMA before and was enjoying the LSD on its own, but he had been really excited about trying ecstasy before we started so we encouraged him not to back out. We reminded him that the dose was a fairly light one for someone his size, that he had been determined to try it, and that our trips would be quite different if we weren’t all in synch.
In retrospect, I wish we had not urged him so vehemently. I know he wanted to try it very badly beforehand, but if he had changed his mind we should have let him do so. But we were all feeling good on LSD and wanted to share all of the experiences and all of the drugs; everything turned out okay, but it is still a thought that has crossed my mind a time or two since Thursday. Other than B, I was a little hesitant, too – though not as much. I really wanted to take the MDMA, as molly is my drug of choice, but the amount and rumored bad taste were intimidating to me (it was my first time without it being in pill form or in a capsule). Finally, however, I threw it back and ate it.
I had been reasonably justified in being worried about the taste. The powder instantly spread all over the back of my throat and tongue, immediately filling my mouth with the bitterest taste I’ve ever experienced. It doesn’t help that I often have difficulty eating anything while on LSD already, as I always get a very strange metallic taste in my mouth when tripping – this time was no different. Fortunately, root beer helped cover the taste and I drank some until the bitterness was gone.
We decided that now was a good time to make our walk to the river like H had mentioned he wanted to do earlier, so we gathered fruit snacks, water bottles, and a blanket to sit on. As I bent over to pick up my phone, however, I felt a sudden shift. I swiftly stood and looked at the guys, none of whom had changed their demeanor. I felt another strange shift and took in a rattling breath, I wasn’t certain, but thought that maybe the MDMA was already kicking in (we were expecting come up to take an hour, but it felt like only 5 minutes had passed).
I told the guys I felt like I could not leave yet as I sat down on the couch. The come up was coming on really quickly now. D stopped what he was doing and came closer, asking if I was coming up on the MDMA and if I was okay. I felt like my body was being flooded suddenly with icy, but pleasant, water. The edges of my vision started to glow white, as though everything was suddenly overexposed. My entire body was tingling; it is difficult to explain, but my entire body was buzzing. It felt very sensual, almost like I was having an orgasm – a fact I quietly shared with D.
But it didn’t stop there. Feeling restless, I stood and paced a little. The guys were slowly starting to feel things, too, it seemed; I felt restless, with shifts coming more frequently now. I sat down again. Suddenly there was a “WOOOOOSH” in my ears where things seemed to go silent for a moment before sound came back, but now seemed distant and morphed.
Now I was feeling very anxious. It had been pleasant at first, but now it was coming on too quickly. I couldn’t focus and the sensations were just growing and growing, too strong and too intense for me to adjust. I felt uncomfortable and restless. I stood up again, mentioned that I needed some air, and headed for the balcony. I thought maybe I had needed a change of scenery, but it did not help. I realized my bladder felt full, so I went to the bathroom and relieved myself. While washing my hands I was almost chanting to myself, “You’re okay. It’s just the drugs. You’re going to be okay. You’ll get used to it. It’ll stop soon...You’re okay.”
I went out to the balcony again, but noticed that things still felt off and my stomach was churning. Without a word to the guys, I went back into the bathroom, chanting words of comfort and reminders of reality to myself. Suddenly I realized what the churning meant and sat on the toilet. D had noticed I was acting paranoid and knocked, asking if I was okay. I told him I was, or that I would be, and that he just needed to go out on the balcony. “Are you sure?” I told him I was, but that he and the guys needed to stay on the balcony because I didn’t want them to hear.
Finally, I knew he had gone and slowly I let myself pass a bowel movement – as it happened, I began feeling better mentally, too. By the time it was over, I was smiling the largest smile I’ve ever made. I was instantly elated. This time when washing my hands, I was able to tell myself truthfully that I really was okay and that I felt great – I had never felt happier. The bad vibes and emotions had disappeared with the bad gunk that had been in my body.
I stepped out the bathroom feeling as I knew I should on 200 mg of MDMA and called for D, feeling the need to tell someone what happened, despite how embarrassing it was. We went into the living room and I told him how paranoid and anxious I had gotten, and what had finally relieved me of that feeling. He accepted this information well and even laughed, relieved that I was okay.
Overcome with emotion (all positive – all love) I shared another personal revelation with him. His reaction was all love, and the upsurge was like the surge of negative before. I was so full of emotion suddenly - I felt very nauseous. I only purged a little, but felt instantly better once I had. D and I decided to rejoin the others, as all of the love in the room was tempting us to do things we would not normally do with others around and I was feeling much better than I had before.
However, we had not quite overcome all of our hurdles for the day yet, as B was also fighting nausea. I rubbed his back while he tried to force himself to purge (something he later told me helped). I encouraged him to do what he could, as I knew he would feel much better when he got it out, like I had. It was very difficult for him, and soon I was overwhelmed with anxiety at his predicament. Feeling myself returning to where I had been before, my heartbeat rose to alarming rates. I had to leave him with D so I could calm myself.
I went to the balcony and sat with H, who was calm and serene. His quiet words, reassurances, and care-free attitude helped bring me back to the euphoria from before. Soon, D and B joined us outside. Listening to music had made B feel better and he, too, was able to start enjoying the effects of the drugs mixed together. Despite feeling calm and enjoying the high now, my legs began shaking and my jaw began clacking uncontrollably – I had never had this experience on MDMA before, but finally I understood why jaw clenching occurs. Thankfully, H had some gum that remedied things by keeping my mouth busy.
At this point it was around 5:30, so we knew the come-up had definitely been less than an hour, probably around 10-25 minutes (our altered perception of time made it hard to tell). For the next hour we sat on the balcony chatting about anything and everything – we all became introspective and open, like we were each other’s therapists. We talked about things in our lives that had been hurting us, and helped ourselves find closure by expressing these thoughts. The details of these conversations are very personal, so I will not give specifics, but it seemed very therapeutic for all four; bad pasts, mental disorders, trouble at home – no matter the issue, we were able to at least come to a better understanding about it and feel more at peace with our lives. Around 6:30 PM we decided it was time to walk to the river, as a peaceful atmosphere was the best option for the inner peace we had all just found.
As we walked from the apartment to the river one of the buildings we passed had music playing. The song “Hallelujah” seemed as though it literally drifted on the wind to get to my ears. It sounded slightly morphed, and amplified, as though I were standing right next to the speaker the entire time; it was the most beautiful sound – the most wonderful song – I had ever heard in my life. Four days later, it still evokes such a strong emotion in me that I think it will stay with me for the rest of my life; it symbolizes the peace of mind I had finally been able to find thanks to the friends I was with, and the drugs I was on.
We arrived at the river as the sun had begun to set. We sat in silence, watching the wind ripple across the water. The trees on the other bank danced with life in a subtle way, and the sky held such vibrant colors. Eventually it grew colder and darker as the sun continued to set, and we decided it was time to head back to the apartment before turned to night completely.
Once back, we immediately began to prepare for our own little rave – black lights, glow wands, techno music, and ring pops. We danced and laughed and enjoyed ourselves until our bodies were too tired to continue, and then we sat back and enjoyed the visuals that the music had inspired in us. D decided it was time to throw DMT into the mix; I passed, but B, D, and H indulged. It was about 9:30 PM and I could tell I was coming down from the MDMA – it was a steady slope to baseline once I realized I was, and soon I noticed my muscles were aching all over. D rubbed my back while B massaged my calves; I sat enjoying my CEVs a while longer as they did so. We also took one 5-HTP capsule of 100 mg each at this point.
I always have difficulty falling asleep after a trip so I took 10 milligrams of my Zolpidem Tartrate (I have a prescription for insomnia) around 11:15 PM. I often get slight hallucinations (open eye movement and CEVs) and tracers when I take this medicine, so I feel it prolonged the effects of the LSD. Aside from having visions when my eyes were closed, I soon felt like I was completely back to baseline – just tired and worn out, but still happy (just not nearly as happy as I had been earlier). Unfortunately, I had trouble falling asleep despite having taken the medicine and my sleep was restless. I woke up multiple times in the night. At 5:30 AM, I realized I was still experiencing CEVs when I tried to fall asleep again. I noticed the same around 9:15 AM, nearly 20 hours after I had ingested the LSD, and 17 after eating the MDMA/2C-? mix!
Eventually these, too, faded away. My body felt tired, but I was fine and awake mentally. I took a final 100 mg capsule of 5-HTP around 1:00 PM that day (Friday) to further deter any post-MDMA depression from setting in.
The things I learned from this experience can be summed up into a few points.
First, I learned a lot about myself. I feel that this combination of drugs has a very therapeutic effect, much more than any counseling or prescription medications I have had to battle my difficulties in the past. Although a lot of the trip was spent just having fun, I was also able to talk things out, work through things, and let go of things I had been holding onto for years. They’re not completely gone, but they’re not holding me back quite like they were before. I think a few more candy flips (or possibly trips with only the MDMA/2C-mix) in the future will help me work through everything I need to in my life and will help me finish letting go of the things I touched on during this trip. I not only gained closure for things that happened in my past, but the confidence I need to move on to my future (something I had been lacking previously as a fresh college graduate). I feel I could not have gained such without the help of these drugs and my friends.
Secondly is a point I should have considered much harder before this trip. While the set and setting were excellent for it, my friends and I should have been more cautious in some regards. Rather than ingesting the MDMA on its own, on empty stomachs, after already being affected by the LSD, we should have put it in gel caps. Doing so would have made the onset of the MDMA mixture more gradual and less intense, I think, and therefore we could have possibly avoided the obstacles we’d had to face – which could have made the trip go horribly wrong if B and I had not been able to work through them.
We also should have made certain what had been mixed with the MDMA, or exactly how much of it there was. We are still not sure if it was 2C-I or 2C-B, though we’re more inclined to believe it was 2C-I. I have always been of the opinion that a person should know exactly what they are getting themselves into before addling their minds. Drugs are not something to take lightly, and as (fortunately) brief as the lesson was, it has stuck with me. We got the MDMA/2C-mix as a gift from a friend, but no matter how much we trust someone, it still should have been essential for us to know everything about it that we could.
Otherwise, this trip was the best I have experienced. The range of emotions, activities, and mental clarity that came with it will stick with me for the rest of my life. I feel much more of a tie to B and H than I did before, and although we’re all going separate ways, I think they are people who will be a part of my life no matter what. I feel I have gotten even closer, an even tighter bond, with my boyfriend D as well – I am so happy I was able to share this candy flip with him. Although I am sure I will dabble in drugs again, I doubt anything will quite compare to this experience. It truly changed my life.
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