Citation: Jibbies. "Ineffability Explained: An Experience with DMT (exp90882)". Erowid.org. Oct 31, 2012. erowid.org/exp/90882
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 1:30
||(powder / crystals)
So here we go...
Background: I and one of my buddies had been working on extracting DMT from MHRB for about a week. It was a long process, but mostly consisted of waiting, and was not hard in the least bit. We are both studying at a university and have experience in chemistry and biology, which helped, but is not necessary in the least bit. We used 'marsofold's' tek, which is recommended to beginners and produces a high, clean yield. We got about 2.5 grams of eggshell white powder.
Tester hit: After we had the finished product, we decided to test it out by loading a small 20-30mg hit, just to see if what we had created was actually the real deal. Well, it definitely was. (When describing the experiences, I won’t bother with the time lapsed explanations, as time is difficult to distinguish.)We loaded the hit onto a small amount of St. Johns Wort, which produces a mild calming effect, but is mostly indistinguishable. But nice, none the less. We held the flame lightly above the spice, not to burn it but to melt it into the vegetation. Once this first hit was taken, we held it in for about 10 seconds and took another hit. This time, not so gentle with the flame contact, held it in for another 10 seconds. I got a third hit in, my buddy was already feeling it hard by this point, and was lying in his bed.
The onset of sensations was strange. There was an expanding feeling in my body, and my heart seemed to beat faster, and was almost loud to my ears. This was surprising, as I wasn't scared, just a little anxious before taking the hit. I felt like I could describe it as the body's struggle to hold the mind in, almost like it didn't want it to escape and experience these novel emotions. My vision became very shaky after just the first hit, but I knew the importance of taking as many hits as possible.
When I closed my eyes, I could see and onset of pinkish-purple hues, which seemed to form a chrysanthemum pattern that was constantly flowing. It would keep bellowing in and out to form concave and convex patterns simultaneously. I know this seems impossible, but it was real as shit in that world! The patterns grew more intense and defined as I became more aware of their existence, which indicated to me that I could almost intensify my trip just with my own mental drive.
Even though I know I did not break through, when I closed my eyes, everything was so sculpturally defined. Everything had edges that were so definite; it was almost more real than the things we see in everyday life. In fact, there was so much detail in these patterns, they seemed never to end. For instance, if they were to be zoomed-in, the detail of every part would seem to continue forever, much like the way that mathematical fractals work, where each segment is a recursive display of a chunk from the whole. Regardless, as the chrysanthemum continued to sway and become more fluid, I could see what looked like faces try to 'break through' these patterns, as if the pattern in its whole was just a veil, separating me from things I was not yet ready to experience. Right before my eyes, the veil became alive with the objects behind that seemed like they were eager to exceed this membrane, or maybe they just wanted me to know that there was indeed more to be seen. This is why I knew I did not 'break through', because the objects themselves behind this brightly colored veil did not break through themselves. Funny.
I went into this trip not expecting to break through, but still welcomed the idea that it could have possibly gone deeper than what I had expected, for had I actually broken through, I didn't want it to bring fear and therefore hold me back from experiencing DMT's true abilities. Nevertheless, this first 'trial' experience was distinguishable from any other psychedelic I had yet experienced. There was such a genuine nature to it, like the total sensation showed me the dynamic workings of everything in existence and the flow of energy between them. It was so peaceful and the only way I can describe the emotion was a wave of pure psychedelic love. It's like when you hear your favorite part of your favorite song when you are on ecstasy, but that experience amplified x100. Oh and the visuals were the shit too.
Once the visions became less prevalent, and began to fade, I opened my eyes. Everything seemed to have a heavy haze to it, and looking around at the room, was as if I were there for the first time. I looked at my friend, and he was looking back around the room as well. I wasn't ready to speak yet, as I was still absorbing everything that had just happened to me. I looked at the wall that was directly behind the lamp, and the shadows of the little bumps and divots seemed to be moving, almost melting. It was like there were two layers to the wall. The static one that stayed in place, and the more fluid layer that seemed to be flowing across the bottom one, this visual was common with anything that contained patterns of shadows; drapes, blankets, etc. It was strange, because I felt like I was able to make it do this all on my own. Like my mind was saying 'more, do it more' and the wall listened, and accepted the command.
About 5 minutes later, I was able to speak. I started off trying to get across key words about what I was saying. But still affected by the dmt, my ability to speak was compromised, and I felt like everything I was saying was flowing out of me without prior thought, yet at the same time every word I was trying to say felt almost as if I had said that exact phrase right before I was about to say it. It was a really weird, premonition like feeling. Anyway the key words that I was able to get across were: 'Sway', 'Fluid', 'Love', and “Play'. Of course, it's now hard to recall the way I felt, as like a dream, the memories fade almost immediately after coming down unless you really try hard to recollect everything that had just occurred.
The short 20 minutes after were very euphoric and socially positive. I and my buddy started laughing after coming out of the trip without either of us saying anything prior to the laughter. It was like a wave of positive energy had been released in the room and had engulfed us in its presence. The body high was amazing too. To me, this feeling after coming down is what MDMA attempts to mimic, however cannot fully achieve. Compared to MDMA, everything was genuine, like it had true meaning, instead of being from artificial origin.
After this experience, me and my buddy smoked a cigarette and talked about our experiences for an hour. Conversation was flowing at a great quality and pace. We decided to go back for seconds, but this time, we wanted to break through for real.
The second bowl of the substance was substantially larger. We knew we were going somewhere different this time. We put on some Iron & Wine to chill us out. I remember when I took my first hit, the song 'Carousel' began to play. I will never look at this song the same way now. Anyway, I got a good three hits in, the last one being frantic, because I could feel my entire consciousness leaving my body. Not in a frightening way though, just like 'You better put this pipe down, because something is really fucking happening.' My open-eye vision was vibrating at a great frequency, for the few seconds I had them open; I would see any moving object as a series of still shots. It was almost as if I was witnessing time, in its own essence. Like I was witnessing the fourth dimension. This was too much, so I closed my eyes.
Waiting for me there was that good old chrysanthemum pattern. Yet this time, it was WAY more vivid in color and brightness. Instead of being of a purple hue, the colors were that of solid white, black and deep red. This pattern was evident for only a minute it seemed, and then this 'membrane' completely dissolved into a large room, where I was placed in the corner, or perhaps I was the corner. The walls were compiled of this red, black white checkerboardish pattern, and maybe some pinks and gold thrown in here or there. And then, I was introduced to these humanoid creatures. I remember there were so many of them, and they seemed to keep passing through my visual field, like I was on a conveyer belt and was being passed down a long hallway full of these beings. I will describe these in detail in the next paragraph.
What I want to describe now, is why I feel like this whole experience is so hard to describe to other people. During the duration of this trip my senses are completely melted together. Most notable of these senses are sight and sound. For a great amount of time, I was wrapped up in complete synesthesia. These melding of the senses seemed to create new senses, new emotions, shapes, sounds, basically everything was new. And since I didn’t experience any of these experiences with my five finite senses, it's hard to put it in the right context now, as everything I felt then contained at least 2 senses that were mixed to the point where I could not distinguish them separately. This is why I feel as when people take dmt, and do break through; they think that they are in a whole new world, because everything is in a sense, new.
Regardless... Back to the 'beings'. From previous descriptions that I have recently read, allot of people say these creatures look like elves, jesters/jokers, clowns. This is very accurate to what I had perceived. To me, they all had an alien, jester appearance to them and most of them had a female essence to them, giving me a motherly, nurturing impression. They all seemed to be holding some kind of object too. This was the most trivial part for me. The beings, at the time, seemed to be so defined and realistic. Okay, let me just say, these people were fucking there. But there seemed to be some kind of block on viewing exactly what the creatures held. Like if I could almost just concentrate on what they were holding a little bit more, I could make out just exactly what it was. The creatures seemed to be posing in ways like they were displaying these objects, like they were there to advertise something that we cannot yet comprehend. Their faces also had this masking feature to them. It’s like when you would look at them, you would just assume that you knew what their faces looked like and what they were holding, but when you realized that you didn't, you'd look again and couldn't quite make it out. However, these people did seem to have a positive energy to them. As powerful as they were, they gave me the feeling that I was welcome, and that they had been waiting on me just to show me these nice things of theirs. And when they did, they did it with as much enthusiasm as possible, which was nice. I showed my appreciation for this with a smile, and they smiled back. I felt as if I had just fell in love with my own soul, my -ness, if you will.
OH, one of my favorite parts of the second, 'breakthrough' trip was the auditory stimulations that were created from the dmt itself. This was only really recognizable in the first two minutes, as after that I was completely immersed in the world of the creatures described above. The music seemed as it was passed through some filter that made it so echo(y) and resonant, and it seemed to be slowing down and speeding up at the same time. Hard to picture, I know. But this was most evident later that night when we went for another trip hehehe. My friend’s roommate was in the room for that (3rd) trip, because he was curious about trying it, which he did later and really have a great experience as well. But in this trip, he was picked up his phone for a short conversation. I know allot of people say that talking/outside noises take away from the trip, but shit… I found it especially interesting! I could recognize that it was his voice, and that it was his presence, but I couldn't make out a damn word he was saying. The whole time he was talking, the flow of his words consisted of short stutters about a syllable or two long. It was much like the visual effect I had at the beginning of the second trip, as every element of his speech seemed to get caught up in time before it encountered my own perception.
The next day was great. I felt as though, I had put a lot of time into thinking about what my trip meant, and that my ego did not exist for a period of time. This realization that everything holding me back from true bliss, true nirvana, consists of mundane problems that we, in society, overanalyze and put too much importance in. I felt reborn. The next day, I was positive, and was more social from my enhanced mood. I truly did not experience one bad thing from this substance, only good things. I feel like the only possible way to have a bad trip, is if you truly hold yourself back from experiencing and witnessing everything. As if I put a negative connotation on everything that one may experience, it will no doubt seem more powerful and intense than anything imaginable. Just keep in mind, its fine to be nervous about doing it, I tried not to be scared and this seemed key.
[Reported Doses: 20-30mg of N,N-DMT and 60-70mg of N,N-DMT ]
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