Citation: mindspelunker. "Into the M-Hole: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp90865)". Erowid.org. May 31, 2011. erowid.org/exp/90865
I have been using psychoactives, and Erowid, for over eight years. I have had a long standing fascination with chemistry, biology, consciousness, and spirituality. This and a sort of hedonistic curiosity has lead me to many extraordinary journeys through a cornucopia of altered states. I recently took the plunge with the relatively new Ketamine analogue Methoxetamine. Because there is little information available on this compound, especially at the dosage and route of administration I used, I decided I would submit my first ever experience report.
My mindset at the time was in good spirits. I am currently a medical student, so I am always under a certain amount of stress, but my anxiety is pretty low. Current medications include Zolpidem (Ambien) once or twice a week for insomnia.
I had recently acquired 500mg of Methoxetamine from an online vendor after reading some promising reports online. Ketamine is in my opinion one of the more fascinating and unique experiences out there, so when I heard of this novel analogue I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Soon after receiving the material I took a low (40mg) dose sublingually in order to get a sense for its personality, and to make sure I hadn't been sent rat poison. Everything went well so I decided it would be safe to move forward to higher doses. I decided on an intramuscular ROA, since IM administration of Ketamine has been in my experiences the superior route of administration. I asked my housemate X to sit for me after hearing reports of people unknowingly moving about while in the depths of this compound; it is not as anesthetizing as Ketamine. X took a few notes during the experience that help mark the clock time since my sense of time dilation was so profound.
9:30pm T+0:00 -- I dissolve 80mg of MXE into 1.5cc's of warm water in a syringe. I push an intramuscular injection into my right thigh. I then quickly clean up my space, knowing I only have a minute or two before I lose contact with my environment. I put on a playlist of music that I had created for Ketamine trips. It has artists such as Oneohtrix Point Never, Burger-Voigt, Evan Marc & Steve Hillman, ISHQ, and Emanuele Errante.
Within two minutes I can feel myself quickly being pulled inward, so I make myself comfortable in my bed.
T+ 0:10 -- X records me saying 'blast off.' Bright neon crystalline structures start flying past. I feel as though my bed has become a moving vessel, rocketing through the irredescent chambers of my unconscious.
T+ 0:20 -- X reports that I start humming and singing. I often sing during very intense psychedelic experiences. It helps me to manage the energies around me and keep myself moving in a positive direction. However, I do not do this on Ketamine as far as I am aware, an important difference with this experience. X reports that this humming continued throughout the experience, along with me speaking an unfamiliar language.
While recalling specific memories during this time is difficult, I recall being totally unaware that I had taken a drug. It was like flying through a museum of futuristic artwork hung in a museum composed of glowing crystal. The environment was that of being present in a physical space, and the feeling of actual movement through these spaces was very direct. I would travel through one space and then ascend to the one above. Emotionally, I felt euphoric. As different worlds formed and morphed around me I felt as though disorganized points in my subconscious were being reassimilated or reconnected as they should be. Neon pink and orange were dominant colors, whereas Ketamine often has darker naval tones, with a more macabre aesthetic. Ketamine is not particularly emotional for me either.
T+ 1:00 -- X reports that I was speaking an unfamiliar language and laughing. There are moments where I believe I opened my eyes, but could not make sense of the misshaped, pulsating room I was in. While I could not fully understand what my friend X represented I knew he was an entity there to make sure I was okay, which was reassuring. After this realization of my safety the walls of the room fell back to reveal other worlds, which I slipped back into, riding on my magic mattress.
T+ 1:15 -- At this point I found myself in a space composed of blue crystals that were glowing faintly. Floating in the center of this space was a single large, round sphere that was glowing brightly with flesh tones (pinkish/yellow). I interpreted this as being a cell or an egg just after fertilization to be more specific. I could appreciate that I was witnessing the genesis of new life. This cell began dividing over and over. I then realized that this was my own birth. As the collection of dividing cells became larger I could feel my body being reborn to the physical environment. This was an incredibly euphoric experience. At this point I said aloud 'I'm being born!' I then opened my eyes, and while the room was still very distorted I remembered where I was and what had happened. In one sense this felt as though I had 'come down' but I was still very much under the influence of MXE. It's also worth noting that I'm currently taking a course on reproduction at my med school. I had the strong feeling that this experience was a much more effective way of learning about the miracle of life than through a textbook or lecture. I also recalled a quote from John Lilly where he stated his belief that all first year medical students should have to take Ketamine in order to understand the inner workings of the human body. He might be on to something.
T+1:40 -- I tell X that I need to go to the restroom. Since we live in a co-op I am nervous that I will bump into someone in the hall in my very intoxicated, robo walking state, so I ask X to let me know when the hallway is clear. He tells me it's clear, so I courageously journey out of my 'spaceship,' but immediately bump into a housemate running down the stairs. I panic and retreat. X reassures me that everything is alright, so I give it a second chance and make it to the restroom. After determining that I had completed this bizarre and confusing physiological function, I make it back to my spaceship safely. For the next couple hours, as I slowly return to baseline, X and I chat on random topics. I have quite a bit of difficulty forming complete sentences.
T+ 3:30 -- I decide to attempt sleep. I remain awake for several hours, experiencing a semi-conscious state of lucid dreaminess.
T+4:30 -- I begin experiencing bad tinnitus. This is probably the most disturbing side effect of the entire experience.
T+ 6:00 -- I fall asleep.
Next day I felt fine. I was a bit tired from not sleeping as long as I would have liked, but my mood was good and I didn't feel physically hungover. No residual adverse effects over the next week.
Overall, this was an incredible experience. I feel as though Methoxetamine allows one to maintain a bit more clarity of thought throughout the experience as compared with Ketamine, making it easier to process and remember the insights one has throughout the experience. The euphoric component was also a nice addition. MXE also has a longer duration than Ket, which could be a plus or minus depending on what one is looking for. I doubt that I will use this compound again anytime soon, since I'm very busy, have many other chemical realms I'm looking to explore, and also because I don't like IM'ing cocktails that aren't in a pharmaceutically prepared solution. That said, I'm very grateful to have been able to experience this remarkable new compound. It will be interesting to see what place Methoxetamine will hold in the psychedelic pharmacopeia of the future.
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