Citation: Sinnlos. "Antidepressant, Anti-migraine: An Experience with MDPV ('Ivory Wave') (ID 90851)". Erowid.org. Jul 28, 2011. erowid.org/exp/90851
||(powder / crystals)
I have been actively looking for a good legal stimulant drug for a long time because..well..as with many of us approaching middle age in the early 21st century, I hate my job but am stuck in it for the time being. When I hate my job, I have no motivation to do the work. And I have plenty of work to do, all of which I have been having difficultly finding the energy for.
I suffer from mild depression, and when it occurs I find myself becoming emotionless, unstimulated by anything, and I find my attention span shrinking to absolutely nil. I cannot concentrate in this state. I become socially withdrawn without any desire to interact with anyone. My libido vanishes and I have no sexual desire.
Despite this, I have refused to take anti-depressants because I have seen too many people become messed up from them. I have done cocaine, weed, alcohol, opiates, benzos, scopalamine, LSD, mushrooms and salvia over the years, but nothing frightens me more than the scrips like Prozac or Celexa which are designed to therapeutically mess with your serotonin and dopergenic systems. These drugs cause irrational behavior, mania, and can lead to suicidal ideation..frankly, I would rather be depressed. I took Chantix once for a few weeks and it scared the shit out of me more than any illegal drug or drug combo I have taken.
That being said, I have felt the need to self medicate to get me through sometimes. I am not the kind of drug user who likes to get 'Fucked up'. Recreational use for me is minimal. I take drugs in small doses and rarely become severely intoxicated on anything. I like small buzzes, but I hate throwing myself into an alternate reality. That's just me. That's the type of user I am. I will say this: if you are a heavy, daredevil user, MDPV may just be your downfall. It's not a drug for the extreme psychonaut.
I thought MDPV was a good candidate. Based on the research I had done, I determined that in minimal doses with strict discipline against redosing, it would produce sufficient stimulation to provide some motivation at the office and some improved mood. Even then, small dose use should not be done long term. And I was right! It worked as intended and had some other benefits as well.
Once my research was done I found an online vendor of 'Ivory Wave' and placed my order. Supposedly the vendor was in Belize but when it came the envelope originated in Hungary..I would advise finding a proper source with better provenance. I ordered 200mg, but there was a 2for1 special and when I opened the package there were 2 packets of Ivory Wave and one of 'Sextacy', which is basically the same thing.
Knowing that this drug is very active at small doses and not having a proper scale, I deferred to the general principle of taking a miniscule amount and working my way up. This is still not very wise and you should never 'eyeball' powder drugs, especially MDPV. I made a line that I estimated to be less than 5mg and snorted it. It was 12pm. I wanted to try it at home before risking it at the office. I wanted a test drive.
T+5: I was feeling the first effects. I felt caffeinated and alert.
T+30: I could feel a slight euphoria and had a tendency to wander from activity to activity. It was strange. If I was not focused on a particular activity, restlessness would set in but if I was actively engaged in it, I could focus on it.
T+1 hour: I noticed I was in a rather good mood, which is a bit strange for me. I felt happy without feeling TOO HAPPY like on MDMA or cocaine. There was no sense of intoxication. This is the 'clear headed' stimulation people talk about with MDPV. I could handle complex tasks and interactions without seeming messed up to those watching. I felt the drug, but I did not feel stoned, if that makes any sense.
T+2: I had spent time on various tasks and was able to focus on all of them. These were tasks that were not particularly enjoyable such as chores and work on my lap top. MDPV seemed to remove the sense of tedium that can come with some tasks. At this point I could feel the physical effects too. Those of you who have ever taken meth, pseudoephedrine or an SSRI/NDRI will know the feeling of emptyness behind the eyeballs. That 'tweaky' feeling. It was mild, but it was there. If you have ever taken a migraine med you know what it feels like to have increased serotonin levels..tweaky feeling, weird sensations in my muscles, vague and mild nausea but nothing to worry about. Although I was hungry, I could ignore the hunger pretty easily.
T+3= While there was no significant euphoria, there was some at the start. A generally good mood. By T+3 it was gone. I thought this may be the start of the famous crash. My mood went back to a normal one, but the stimulant effects were still going strong. This is where MDPV traps alot of people...people redose to get that euphoria back but it doesn't work, it only increases and extends the stimulation. I had already decided I would NOT under any circumstances, redose the same day. I was still energized and able to focus on tasks. I was still empty behind the eyeballs with that tweaky feeling. Strong aphrodisiac effects..masturbated twice, had sex with the wife afterwards..no small feat for a 38 year old!!
T+9: That tweaky feeling persisted much longer than the mood lift. There was a pleasant afterglow of a kind and sleep was still out of the question. While not hyper, I was definately awake and would remain that way. There was some intestinal disturbance in the form of gassy pains and a feeling of indigestion. I had a headache which felt like a mild caffeine withdrawal headache. Some acetominophen took care of it.
T+12: Now it felt like the drug had left my system. Pretty much at baseline. The tweaky feeling was gone and I was drowsy. Took another acetominophen as the headache came back a little. Went to bed. Slept well, but shorter than usual. Strange dreams.
The experience left me with some basic observations, take them as you will.
This is nothing like cocaine. Cocaine has a much stronger euphoria and while it stimulates the system, it is much more short lived. Cocaine can intoxicate me. I can feel stoned on it and need to 'maintain' around sober people. MDPV provides minimal euphoria if any, but the stimulation effect goes on for a long time. MDPV provides a good mood but with a clear head, which cocaine does not.
Most interestingly, I did not have a migraine. This is noteworthy because I suffer from them frequently, and one of the migraine triggers I have is the transition of weather from low pressure cloudiness to high pressure clear skies. When the weather goes that way I will be laid out. Well, that was what the weather was..it had been cloudy and then it moved to a hot, clear and dry state. While I felt the first tinges of migraine when I got up that day, MDPV seem to eliminate them and stave off the headache. It may reduce the neuropeptides that are involved in serotonin reuptake that cause migraines? I will have to see. The effects of MDPV in terms of that serotonin feeling were similar to the effects of Imitrex or Zolmitriptan taken for migraine.
For the first time in a long time, I felt motivated and alert. This will be a useful substance for a depressed person who hates anti-depressants. Self-medication is a risky business, but at the end of the day so is Big-pharma. MDPV experiences are rife with abuse of this drug...feinding, redosing, addiction, and overuse. MDPV should be taken in small doses and NEVER redosed within 24 hours. It should not be used for getting fucked up or partying. MDPV, in my opinion, is a 'work' drug like coffee.
Use it responsibly.
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Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.