Citation: pollsfriend. "Another Defeat, A Lesson Learned: An Experience with MDPV (exp90188)". Erowid.org. Jul 28, 2011. erowid.org/exp/90188
I have been been using Mephedrone and MDPV on a semi-regular basis over the last few weeks. Usually this entails purchasing a 500 mg package and railing it all in a time span typically ranging between 15 to 96 hours, crashing for a day or two, and then repeating. Up until starting to abuse MDPV around a month ago I had been recovering from an almost uncontrollable addiction to stimulants, particularly crystal meth, and had been sober around 4 months before finally succumbing and sampling some bathing and gardening products.
I recently applied for admission to a local educational institution in order to better myself and hopefully enjoy a fulfilling career in a field that is currently experiencing a shortage of qualified employees. I was required to go to an occupational health clinic for a drug screen as that is standard procedure for admission to the institution that I plan to attend. I was somewhat concerned about using MDPV within a few days of the screening as I had heard rumors that it could cause a false positive for MDMA or Methamphetamine. Like the addict that I have been over the last few years, I ultimately conceded defeat to my inner demons and purchased 500 mg of MDPV, despite my history of being a compulsive user of stimulants. Just as I have over for most of my short yet eventful foray into the world of mind alteration and mood elevation, I allowed the gnawing craving to be elevated in mind and spirit for a short while override any and all of the red flags that I had about the possibility of MDPV showing up on a drug screen. I considered that it was certainly probable that my compulsive behavior would almost assuredly lead to my using the vile yet satisfying and seemingly benign powder the day of the drug screening. I also ignored the almost certain probability of being tweaked while at the screening facility. About 5 hours prior to my scheduled drug screening, after having bumped most of the MDPV in 30-50 mg doses over the course of the past 36 hours, and having used an additional 500 mg of MDPV over 15 hours the day before, and cut the last of the roughly 100 mg I had left of the 500 mg I had purchased into two approximately 50 mg lines and railed one in each nostril. I then busied myself by performing various tasks I needed to get done but rarely had the motivation to complete whilst sober, in order to ignore the impending drug screen looming in a few short hours.
I was puzzled by the absence of all but the slightest bit of a noticeable effect from my last dose, and it occured to me that may be 'stuck' somewhere in my nose and/or sinuses, and I could use nasal spray to try to insullfate anything that was trapped up in there. I bought a nasal decongestant about a half hour before I was due for the screen, and after squirting some into each nostril and waiting for about five minutes or so, I was hit with an extremely intense euphoric rush accompanied by uncontrollable but almost visually undetectable tremors, as well as a heart rate I measured and found to be close to 170 BPM. The last place I wanted to be in this condition was a facility specifically designed to screen for substance abuse, but I had to complete the test in order to take an entrance exam two days later, so I resigned myself to being tweaked out whilst surrounded by medical personnel specifically trained to observe for signs of drug use.
To put it mildly, the actual screening was uncomfortable at best, and at worst felt like a very realistic, very terrifying dream. I was taken to a tiny room and sat with the nurse administering the test for about 20 minutes all the while tweaking as hard as I had since quitting meth over 5 months before. It was little consolation to keep telling myself it could be much worse. If this had happened a year ago I would have probably been in a similar situation only on crystal meth instead of MDPV and would have failed the screening rathe than passing it due to a lack of realiable test for MDPV. My motor skills felt awkward and uncordinated. I repeatedly fumbled when asked to produce my ID and various school related documents, and the tremors had to have been at least slightly noticeable because everything I handed the nurse shook slightly, and if I set something down on the table I usually placed it with an overly heavy 'thud.' It was next to impossible to hold a linear conversation due to the fact that I was so nervous and tweaked that I had a very difficult time remembering what was said, or what was even being talked about, from moment to moment. I remember discussing why I chosen to pursue a career in the field that I am hoping to work in someday, and possibly the weather, but that is about all I can recall of what was nearly a 20 minute ordeal from beginning to end. I was barely able to even breathe as the results started to return. As soon as I was told all of the results were negative I hurriedly gathered my belongings and departed from the facility in a hasty manner, all the while promising myself and any god that may have been listening that I was going to stop being such an irresponsible waste of human life.
During the peak of my former substance abuse I considered myself fairly talented and adept at being fucked up on any number of substances in almost any given situation and not acting abnormal or even really consciously trying to hide the fact that I was under the influence of anything. At times I don't consider that I no longer use on a regular basis and should probably not knowingly place myself in what could likely be a difficult situation.
This experience rates one of the most psychologically traumatic and terrifying ordeals that I have ever experienced. I recognize and admit that this situation was my own doing as it occurred due to my compulsive tendencies in regards to stimulants and my failure to take measures to control these tendencies. I have no one to blame for my almost complete lack of judgment and self control in regards to stimulants and their use but myself. I ignored what I knew could ruin my chances at pursuing a meaningful and respected profession in order to achieve a decent, but by no means spectacular high by using product that is only moderately stimulating or euphoric and for a very limited amount of time, especially as compared to the crystal I used on a daily basis. Hopefully it is a lesson learned, but if history repeats itself, as it so often does, I have serious doubts that this will be the last time I decide to risk something I supposedly care about for temporary pleasure.
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