Citation: Eric S. "A Trip To Die For: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp89232)". Erowid.org. Feb 22, 2012. erowid.org/exp/89232
The day was October 31st. That is to say, the day was Halloween. It would start out normal. That beautiful aroma of a dying season. I made way to my friend's-we'll call him Josh-house. It was within walking distance of my own, and I was there in a matter of no time at all. By the time I had arrived, the trick-or-treaters were in full bloom, scattering gleefully from house to house, hoping to find the perfect candy to rot their glisteny whites. I noticed Josh had set out cans of tomato soup for such an occasion.
I waltzed inside to find him upstairs, talking on the phone with a friend of his. I would later find out this friends name was Nick. We'll just call him Nick. Josh was a bumbly-type fellow, and pranced around while he talked, making all sorts of gestures with his arms and legs. As though the person he were talking to were there to see such emphasis. The conversation dragged on for a while, as all do with Josh, and I paid no particular attention to what he was saying. I was preoccupied with thinking about what to spend my 90 dollars on. (It was payday, you see). Finally, after about half an hour, he concluded the call.
'Hey Guy!' He shouted in that always cheery attitude of his. 'What say you and I head on over to Nick’s tonight? He's got a bunch of boomers, and would be more than happy to share with us. For a price of course.'
I gave this no thought. 'I'm down,' I said flatly.
The sun had fallen, and the moon had taken its place, as we left Josh's home behind, and walked on to Nick's. Nick lived about a mile from the neighborhood. Not too far, I thought. Not too far at all.
I had decided before we left to consume upwards a quarter ounce for tonights festive celebration. On the walk to Nick’s apartment, I was having second thoughts. I had tripped but a handful of times before this, and I hadnt taken nearly that high of an amount. Soon, this feeling of uncertainty was replaced with a feeling of uncomfort, then, a feeling of certainly not. Yet, I bit my lip, pushed my feelings to the back of my brain, and decided to go through with what I had decided. That is to say, I had made my final decision to eat the quarter.
When we arrived, there were about 5 others who were just leaving. Having got their candy for the night, they were pleased, and made their exit. I sat down on the couch, and saw the bag with 7 grams already weighed out on the coffee table in front.
'Thats yours buddy,' Nick said, following with a burst of laughter. 'You're going to have one hell of a Halloween, friend.'
I was staring at the bag, hesitant to do anything else. Something in my gut kept telling me this was too much. Something in my gut said I wasn't prepared for something like this. I didn't pay much attention to my gut in previous situations, so why start now?
'You got anything to wash these down with,' I asked, knowing all too well how similar to shit they tasted.
He laughed. That was the response I got. The only response I got. Laughter.
I slowly preceded to open the bag, nervous as I have ever been in my life. I took a handful of the most disgusting mushrooms I had ever seen, and shoved them in my gaping mouth. I began by chewing slowly, and decided it would be much better to chew more quickly, as they tasted more bitter than any I had eaten before.
I got about halfway through the bag when I started noticing a difference in how I felt. That is, it had been about five minutes since I started chowing down, and I was already feeling good. Highly unusual. So unusual, I almost stopped, but pressed on.
By the time I had finished, Nick had put on the movie, 'Across the Universe.' As if to foreshadow my adventure I was moments away from taking part. It had been five minutes, no more, since I had swallowed that last bit of mushroom, and the walls had already begun to breathe. Not only breathe, but to fluxuate. Rather intensly. I was already tripping harder than I ever had in my life. And it had only been five minutes.
Not only were the walls shrinking and growing, shrinking and growing, but they were changing color, entirely, and at rapid paces.
'Holy shit,' I thought to myself. I had barely started coming up, and it was already this insane. 'This is not good. Not good at all.'
My stomach started doing backflips, and I could feel vomit gurgling in the back of my throat, screaming for a way out. But I swallowed. I looked at Nick. When I told him I was thinking about throwing up, he burst into more laughter. 'As long as you make it to the bathroom homie.'
The bathroom? Oh fuck, I could barely move, and going to the bathroom, by myself, well that was far too frightening a concept. I forced myself to swallow harder.
Suddenly, I felt as though my entire body was melting into the couch beneath. I put my hand on my face, and felt it wrap several times over around my entire head. The thought 'alien' kept flashing in my mind.
I looked at the screen. I was astonished to find that across the universe was a cartoon. Wait, was it? And the patterns bleeding from the characters. From the characters, out of the screen, and onto the floor. What magnificence! Too magificent. I couldnt take it.
I looked at Josh. He was no longer Josh. He was an alien. He was just as cartoon as the figures dancing on the screen. I couldnt believe it. I looked at Nick. He was a cartoon too.
'Alien,' flashed in my mind, 'Alien! Alien! Alien! You are alien!'
Soon, the voices on the screen began to echo. Not only echo, but overlap. It was as though I was blasting off slowly away from them. Thats the best way I could ever describe something like that. Blasting off slowly away into another dimension.
'I need to lie down,' I was finally able to push out the words from my locked mouth. Nick set up a few pillows on the ground, and looked at me.
'I know youre scared,' he said, 'but all you can do, now, is ride it out, brother. Just let go, and ride.' He sat back down at his chair, and turned back to the screen.
I turned over onto my stomach, and started moving my legs back and forth. Now, I had seen tracers before, but never had I felt them. And did I feel them now. Simply astounding. Simply alien.
As I lay there, I slowly began melting into the ground. And before I knew it, I was in total darkness. And all shapes that had been in reality, were now simple geometry. A chair was a rectangle, a coffee table a square. There were no people here. None besides myself. And I was no person any longer. I could see my shadow, and it was the shadow of an alien. It was as though I were standing up, but deep in my mind, I knew I was still laying down. Or was I?
And then, without any warning, the shapes blinked, and disappeared. It was at this point, I was utterly convinced that I had died. I was no in total and complete darkness. The thought of my death sent visions of my life fleeting through my brain. I was scared no longer. For I was too far gone to be scared. Too far gone to feel anything. No feelings. Just experience.
The next part of my trip, I have tried to go over again and again, but I cannot fully grasp what happened. It was like I was living life cycle after life cycle. My previous life, and lives I had no connection to. It was as though I were travelling through outer space, at high velocity. It was utterly and totally indescribable, and the entire time, I was convinced that I was merely travelling from life to death. That I had died, and this was the step to take before reaching the after life. Limbo, if you will.
This limbo seemed to last centuries upon centuries. I remember being pulled out once or twice, to find Nick and Josh standing over me. Asking me questions. My only response was 'I have no idea whats going on right now man.' And then boom! Back into limbo. Back into travelling through innerspace.
What I came to, was not what I had expected. It was an animal, furry, staring me directly in the eyes. It was inches from my face. At the time, I couldnt figure out what this familiar creature was, but now I know it was a kitten. First, it had thousands of eyes staring into mine, then slowly it came into focus, and had only two.
I stood up, grabbing my head, totally confused. I looked around and saw someone sitting on the couch. Who this person was, I had no clue, where this place was, I had no clue, but I was there.
'This must be the afterlife,' I thought. 'This Must be heaven.' I walked around a little, in circles, saying nothing, before taking a seat on the chair. I looked at the other person sitting on the couch opposite me. This person was so familiar to me. But who was it? Was it my gaurdian? Was it god?
This person started busting out with emphatic laughter. 'Hey! Whats up guy!'
I remained confused. Who was this. Where was I. 'What the hell happened,' I finally asked.
His laughter became louder, as he said, 'You went ACROSS THE UNIVERRRRSE!!!'
A wave of relief swept over my entire body, my entire being, soul and mind. It's Josh. I was alive. It was all just a trip. The craziest trip of my life to that point, and to this point. The only thing I can compare it to, the only thing that ever came close to touching that experience, was when I smoked dmt. And even then, it was nothing like my trip on Halloween.
I swore off tripping at that point. That swear lasted about a week. Since then, I have tripped hundreds of times. Drugs ranging from mescaline, 2C-E, DMT, acid, and others. But never once, has any of those things been as intense as that night, october 31st. The song by the misfits rings in my head everytime I think of this trip. The lyrics go something like:
'This day anything goes
Burning bodies hanging from poles
Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween'
That day, anything had the chance of going, and everything did. I remember Halloween.
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