Citation: PsychedBaby. "Nightmaric Bliss: An Experience with AMT (exp88693)". Erowid.org. Jan 25, 2011. erowid.org/exp/88693
||(powder / crystals)
It's been about 10 days since I last tripped on AMT and, though mostly enjoyable, I'm still paying the consequences and wanted to document this. Erowid has been a fantastic guide to me, so I'm pleased I'm finally able to contribute on a pretty undocumented substance. I'm relatively experienced with drugs. Over the last ten years, I've dabbled before with coke, weed, ecstasy, codeine, ket and recently moved on to experiment with hallucinogens. I've robotripped with DXM at least 30 times, my DOC - a life changing substance for me, in all the best ways imaginable until an incident recently where I'd OD'd and ended up in A&E (for another trip report). I had mixed success trying Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds, an amazing body high I could only describe as bliss, but mentally very, very taxing, and limited visuals - a few swirling patterns. I decided I wanted to try a more visual experience. Here in the UK, the only legally available research chem of this nature is AMT, which I presumed upon research would be a mix of MDMA and LSD Lite, and a good introduction to the hallucinogenic spectrum. So I ordered 250mg online.
In the space of about 2 weeks, I tripped 3 times (40mg, 65mg, 40mg) with mixed results. The first couple of times were in my own home. I'm currently not working and live with my dad, I'm a 27 year old male, quite well educated, decent law degree, worked until recent times as a broker before stress overbalanced the pay. These days, I'm generally a calm, together person, in my youth I suffered from pretty severe depression and anxiety, in my later teens, developed a histrionic personality with extreme attention seeking and impulsive tendencies (I know - what a catch!!) which were ironed out around early-mid twenties. Anyhow.
My first trip, I measured 40mg - on a scale of 0.00mg, so - some room for error. I was in a really good mood, and excited to be trying a new drug and mixed it with water and swallowed around 2pm. The first two hours I felt quite giggly and silly. Couldn't stop smiling. When the peak hit after 2 1/2 hours, it was pretty similar to coming up on ecstasy. Great body high - not too heavy, just warm and cozy. Some empathy. My body temperature alternated during the trip between warm and cold, which was a little unnerving. About 4 hours into the trip, I experienced my first true open eye visuals, which were incredibly exciting to me as a new psychonaut. Laying in my bedroom, the wall next to me started to develop purple, electronic dots which would fleck across my field of vision. I assumed this is what people refer to as tracers (??). Very unusual. There was slight morphing of objects, but nothing too heavy. Material would start become rich and 'alive'. Objects had a melty quality I hadn't experienced before. I was grateful this first experience was not too strong, and gave me a taster of psychedelic effects. Music seemed to have more depth and beauty - but nowhere near the music empathy level of DXM, where I could literally melt into the music.
Closed eye visuals were very strong, mostly bright, vivid psychedelic colours and shapes. Again, very different to DXM where I was in control of the cartoonish, sweeping imagery and alien landscapes. Around 7, I went downstairs to chat with my dad, conversation was very light but full of empathy and warmth - a good experience. Slightly later on, I nearly gave myself away by asking dad why he left the backdoor open - the curtains were gently blowing back and forth - of course, upon further inspection, the door was totally closed. Thankfully, that didn't click ;P. I walked to KFC, which seemed like an eternity to get to (time seemed to slow down a lot at this stage). The bushes, trees and nature in general seemed alive and brimming with life, each twig and leaf like a little face, I continued to marvel on my slow walk. When I'd finally got my order, I must have stopped for a few moments, as the server looked at my as if I were slightly demented and asked 'did you want anything else??' - nope, nothing else. Getting caught out on this drug is a very real possibility if that's important to you.
Around 9, I was starting to get bored, and looking forward to the experience ending. It is cold in England around now and very dark, so being mostly confined to a house during such a trip is a bit of a shame, and somewhat wasteful. Around 11, I sat in the extension for what felt around 20 minutes, just chilling with my thoughts and watching the patterns on the curtains. Something very strange occurred here. When I went back upstairs, I realized I had been downstairs for nearly 2 1/2 hours!! Very strange. I had actually lost 2 hours somewhere. This, naturally, rocked my world. The effects had began to dissipate around this stage, I managed to drift to sleep around 4am. I found there was pretty much zero introspection at all with AMT at this level, no heightened levels of consciousness or deep soul searching, just an overall gentle, warm and slightly visual experience. I felt throughout the trip, I was on the verge of something more immersive. My jaw had caned around this point too, lots and lots of jaw clenching. I had intense nightmares for the following couple of nights, and 'night terrors' which I'd never experienced before. Despite this, around a week later, I decided I was prepared for a more in-depth psychedelic experience.
I measured out around 65mg at around 4pm. I was in a great frame of mind, well rested, and looking forward to the trip ahead, in my own family home, feeling very comfortable and relaxed. I flirted with taking slightly more but, having read of deaths above the 60mg level, I decided this should be my threshold - and I'm glad that I did. Visuals started to come on around an hour into the experience, which made me a little concerned but mostly excited for the night to come. Around 2 hours in, I decided to have a bath. The patterns on the walls danced for me in waves. The walls began to breath a little. I was listening to gentle music at this point with the window slightly open. At one point I heard a strange series of tubular bells, which I completely rationalized to myself as simply being an ice cream van down the street. Ten minutes later it dawned on me that it was a pitch black, minus 2 degrees early winter evening. It is safe to presume that was NOT an ice cream van. Shortly after, the peak hit. WOW. My mouth dropped open to form a big O. The physical high was almost overpowering, strong, strong ecstasy like euphoria waved through my body. I slouched back into the bath. And then the colours hit. Again, WOW. No way. The bathroom ceiling morphed into a kaleidoscope of different colours. Bright orange, then purple, then blue. Fuck me. I'd never experienced anything even remotely comparable to that. I got out the bath and returned to my room.
The purple 'tracers' I experienced on my first trip at once consumed the entire room, lit up like a flashing neon videogame. CEV's at this stage were incredibly vivid, electronic neon colours which quickly alternated. I was experiencing colours I had never even imagined existed. The floral patterns on my bedsheets began to swirl. Things began to seriously morph at this stage. The curtains were forming animals, such as fish and bugs bunny type rabbits - but never actually fully becoming such creatures, I was still very much in control. The colonel on the side of an empty KFC drink started to dance - yes, I eat a lot of KFC, and yes, the colonel knows how to get down and shake his booty. Objects became more pronounced, shifting in size, and appeared 'flatter'. About 4 hours in, my body was giving me very mixed signals. Too hot, too cold. My jaw hurt and muscles were also starting to twitch, it was around the 5 hour mark I became a bit paranoid and started to get concerned I'd OD'd. There were moments I was feeling very sleepy, my breathing and heartbeat had slowed. My jaw was clenching like a mother fucker and I was worried if I did fall asleep, I wouldn't regain consciousness.
My sister had decided to come around for dinner around 8.30, I stayed upstairs with 'ze headache'. My niece and nephew were being really noisy downstairs, which was just adding to the levels of paranoia. It was too noisy. Watching TV, faces became melty and strange. Writing would skip and dance around the computer screen. I began to panic a little, and felt anymore visuals may induce something more severe, so I switched off the lights and tried to rest, to get through the next 8 hours or so. Time was being a bitch - a minute would feel like 10. Closed eye visuals were intense but mostly formless. Once my sister left - perhaps 9.30ish, I went downstairs and decided to go and grab some food. Mistake.
It was BITTER cold. And I mean, on a generally quite mild evening. My sense of touch had magnified ten fold. The lights from a car swirled behind me, I turned around - and there was nothing there. A chariot of horse and cart appeared from around the corner. No. This was a man carrying shopping bags. Shadows appeared to be watching me from windows. I became very paranoid and decided it was an altogether better idea to head home - all after a 5 minute walk. When I was back, I realized I'd forgotten my keys - for just about the first time in my life! My muscles had continued to spasm periodically, I had pretty awful diarrhea at this stage too and was feeling more cold than hot, in fact, I just couldn't get warm at all, despite all my efforts. Around 11.30, the morphing and visuals had mostly subsided. What happened for the next hour or so really scared me because I hadn't experienced this before. My thought patterns seemed to change to odd mental delusions. For instance, I would look at the fish bowl and think and believe strange things like 'oh, the prince of brunei will be coming to help me feed these tomorrow' or 'the aliens will be wondering what I've cooked for later'. Just really strange things, which I recognized as delusions shortly after they came into mind - I was still mostly in control of these, but they did freak me out.
I was grateful when the effects began to wear off. 12 hours is a VERY long trip time, and mentally taxing. It was hard work this time around. The first 4 hours - yes, incredible. I felt amazing and the visuals were unprecedented to me - beautiful and outstanding. But they came at the cost of the body load and intense paranoia - not nice. I was also concerned during the delusions that I was slipping off into psychosis. Again, not nice. I'm not a chemist but I understand AMT has a somewhat similar structure to amphetamine. I'm guessing full blown speed psychosis after a heavy single use is very possible, and the initial euphoria hit me hard. I didn't manage to drift off to sleep til around 5am that night, and was very relieved to do so when I did. Nightmares, sleep disturbances. I'll come back to these, but I had them again for the next few nights. They interested me initially as they were entirely different from anything I'd ever experienced. Very intense and very lucid. The mental crash after was also pretty steep. Depressive mood for next couple days. No real desperate desire to repeat the experience, however, about 5 days later I decided to take a dose before visiting my recent ex. Again, mistake.
Set and setting. Very important to any trip, and a lesson I've learnt. Had been in a really depressed state this particular evening. At the dinner table, my nephew had called me stinky which for some reason, set me off into tears (I know, strange - guess I was very tetchy following my earlier trip in the week). This set me off into a downward thought pattern, having not worked for a couple months etc. I thought if I had a lower dose - like my first, it might perk me up for the evening ahead. So, I took another 40mg before leaving the house, around 8pm - yes, very late to dose. And actually, initially this worked pretty well. I was warm and happy with my ex. Didn't experience any of the extreme euphoria I had with the 60mg, but was warm and chatty. We chilled and hugged for a couple hours then went to bed around 12. I stayed over, we didn't really do anything but just hugged and chilled. Took a sudafed at around 11.30, - my throat was so, so dry at this stage, I get post nasal drip and was hoping to dislodge some of the dry crap at the back of my throat. I'm pretty convinced this exacerbated the AMT, it also hit me that - shit! I've gotta stay up all night just laying in a dark room with an ex I still have feelings for while tripping. Ooops!! I went to the bathroom around 2am and the carpet had the similar purple electronic tracers I'm accustomed to now. For the following 5 hours I needed to remain sane. Walls took slightly, strange demonic forms and I felt the delusional thoughts starting to return - something I was not happy about. CEV's were intense and quite scary, neon demon faces and witches 'out to get me'. Paranoia. But I was still in control, and recognizing all of these things for what they were.
I managed to use the hanging light on the ceiling as an anchor for sanity. It started to make a form of a polar bear which I assured myself was a guardian who would protect me for the evening (yes I know - some fucked up shit, but mind over matter). Effects started to wear off around 7am - thank all that is holy in the universe. Also, I felt little to no introspection quality throughout any of this. I had to also endure some awful dried up crap at the back of my throat for about 5 hours too. Really, not nice. With two bad-ish trips in a row, I've decided to lay off this shit for good. 12 hours really is too long to invest in a little known research chemical of this nature any more than very periodically. I would not want to take an amphetamine based drug again at a level to induce visuals, it doesn't seem worth it.
Now, I'd love to tell you my trip report ends there, and I've had a couple bad experiences and they've put me off AMT for good. However, coming back to the 'nightmares'. I can now comfortably up these to include pre- and post- sleep hallucinations, which are more in line with temporary deliria - actual, immersive hallucinations before and after sleep. These have persisted for several days and completely fucked up my sleep pattern. They haven't been entirely un-enjoyable, in fact, in some respects I look forward to these strange unpredictable 'episodes', however - they do concern me they're potentially a pre-warning signal for psychosis or something more burdensome. To give you some understanding. One afternoon, couple days later, I decided to take a nap. About ten minutes later, a very minor UK celebrity walked into my room for an everyday chat. The room became a little steamy. This seemed like a perfectly ordinary everyday experience, until she and the steam disappeared!! FUCK - did that just happen??
Then, closing my eyes again - very intense closed eye visuals at this stage. And some delusional thought, which I rarely if ever, have before sleeping. A lucid dream. I was at a friends house, they made a pass at me, I wasn't interested. People were watching us through the window leading into a park. Went outside, two old ladies walk past, one of them says 'one in a hundred'... then other then screamed 'schizophrenic!' - something I've researched and am a little paranoid about now (unsurprisingly)! I immediately jumped. Back in my room. 10 minutes had passed since I'd closed my eyes!! What the hell. Like nothing I've ever experienced in life. My sleep has been punctuated mostly by nightmares, I jump awake and get intense, strange visuals like nothing I've ever seen or imagined. My goldfish bowl has morphed into a smiling face, a mirror on the shelf seemed to be a portal with someone observing me - oh wait, !, there IS no mirror on the shelf!! My chair morphed into a running, cartoon man, but most unnerving of all, I woke this morning and my field of vision was slowly consumed by a piece of white bread. I thought I'd gone blind. Eventually it started to bubble, after perhaps ten seconds later, rearrange back to my room.
It has been 8 nights sleep since I last had AMT, I am hoping the disturbance is temporary. I don't plan to take any more. Would be interesting to hear from anyone else who's experienced anything similar sleep and dream wise. Tread carefully with this one.
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