Citation: PsychedelicShock. "Waking Up With Tubes in My Arms: An Experience with LSD (exp88438)". Erowid.org. Dec 16, 2015. erowid.org/exp/88438
||(blotter / tab)
Before I expand on my psychedelic nightmare I wish to share some background information before my LSD experience. I have used tobacco, caffeine, alcohol, salvia, marijuana, adderall, street speed, BZP, TFMPP, LSD, MDMA, and MDEA. I am a 17 year old male weighing in 125 pounds.
Prior to this LSD experience I have tripped 5 times. The highest dosage I have tripped prior to this was 3 tabs which I approximate 75-100 micrograms (completely arbitrary estimate) each. I wanted to experience an ego death trip like I read about, I scored some new tabs from a trustworthy acquaintance. The guy claimed that each hit was 210 micrograms. I was skeptical because as we all know; in the world of drugs trading, everything is claimed to be the purest, most powerful shit. This was especially unbelievable considering our contemporary time where the LSD dosages are 3 times weaker than those of the 60s. For the first in my life I saw blotter paper with hippie artwork on the back. Even though I had no other evidence of the dosage of the tabs I had a strong gut feeling these were great shit (I wish to note my intuition had never failed me when it came to drugs). Not soon after talking to him, I somehow held in my possession 10 hits of LSD, 5 for my other two friends and 5 for me.
[Set and Setting]
I had great anticipation for the trip. After taking a stressful 3 hour and 45 minute test that I studied intensely for I was really looking forward to a break. This and the constant academic stress that was imposed on me thanks to the rigor of my school’s academic curriculum. I had the house to myself for the entire day since my parents were going out. I prepared a playlist of diverse music, bought Geometry Wars Evolved II (an intense arcade game on the xbox 360 that I recommend any non seizure sensitive psychedelic user to experience at least once), cleaned the house, and readied some speakers. I researched and read up on high-dose LSD experiences to see what I was in for. I called two of my very close friends, C and S, to trip with me. I also intently chose them because they were two people with rather alternate personalities. S wanted to bring a friend of his, V, who wanted to try Ecstasy. Soon enough they all arrived at my house. Before I trip on any psychedelic I ‘rinse’ my emotions and psyche. I think very reflectively of all my positive and negative traits as a human being. I accept myself for everything I am. This was to prepare my mind for the journey. I dropped the 5 tabs under my tongue. Soon after S drops 3 hits, C drops 2 hits, and V drops two purple stars.
T+25 - Within this short time span my environment seemed to charge with energy, inanimate objects vibrated, and my pupils dilated fully. I am the first to feel the come up. I have noticed in my experiences, the stronger the doses, the faster the come up. This was the quickest I had ever experienced a come up. The intensity only increased as time passed. There was one point where I realized just how serious the trip became and I was momentarily extremely paranoid. C and V argue about what music to play and indirectly insults each other’s taste of music.
T+45- S feels the acid, C claims no effect at all, and V feels nervous. I shake off the paranoia and realize how hard I am tripping. I notice the tensions between us. C was on my left side and saw a blue aura around him. V was on my right side and he carried a red aura around him. S and I were in the center. S was directly opposite of me and as he was talking I noticed how he tried to be neutral and even had a gray aura.
T+60- I am seeing waves and geometric patterns on the walls and carpets. I see sounds and intense tracers. There was a period of time where we turned off the lights and I would see glowing lights and orbs of energy pulsating to the beat of the music. It was simply fucking amazing.
T+75- I am having a fucking great time. I had never felt so euphoric in my life, even more than my first time doing MDMA. It was not a body euphoria, but a completely mental euphoria. There was one point where V was feeling the peak of the ecstasy and he started pulling my hair playfully (…LOL). I actually felt his touch and it felt like I was receiving a cerebral massage. I would closed my eyes and imagine a sky and I would see clouds as if I was directly standing on a cloud looking from the top of the world. I would lie down on the carpet and imagine beauty and I would see an island form from kaleidoscopic fragments like a puzzle rearranging itself in front of me.
At this point I completely lose track of time and my memory starts to get rather foggy. I remember having some completely crazy conversations with my friends. S and I love science and we plan on studying drugs. Although the details are rather vague I remember talking about some drug interactions and even spoke of an insane theory that I wish I can bring myself to remember. I remember S and I completing each others sentences as if our brains were synced and we were reading each others minds.
T+unknown- I feel good, but at the same time unaware that I do not have complete control over my body. I hallucinate myself tearing down a wall to reveal a bright grassy plain. I realize I am on my bed and I jump down. I just barely notice my friends who are all looking at me and apparently saying something to me, but I don’t pay much attention. For some reason I go to my living room and talk to ‘myself’. I realize that I tripped on LSD to destroy my ego, only to find out that my ego was already nearly gone. Something in me (which I will refer to as my subconscious) said “You deserve more than this”. After my subconscious said this, I immediately thought of S and how he always had my back in the past. My subconscious replied no. I then thought of C and how despite ignorant people always fucking with him because of his homosexuality, he remained the most positive, happy person I know. My subconscious replied “No, you, Tawsif, you deserve way more”.
After this I apparently remember going outside hallucinating insane visions, but at the same time not realizing I was in reality. I remember trying to go through a wall and failing and my subconscious kept telling me, “You’re doing it wrong”. At one point I remember lying on my back, unable to move for some reason and thinking of my ex-girlfriend who is still the love of my life. I started to hallucinate her from head to toe, but right before she was fully formed, my subconscious said “You deserve more than that” and she slowly disappeared. Not soon after I saw a bunch of cops and FBI carrying a stretcher and walking toward me. I thought my neighbor probably had an accident again. The next thing I remembered was being inside an ambulance with bright lights all over me and feeling incredibly nervous. I’m not sure if I was screaming, but I was tied down and someone was cutting down my shirt and my pants.
T+36 hours- I wake up to find myself in a hospital bed. I am tied down, there are tubes going through my arms, and I feel something weird near my groin area. I look down the blankets to see a urinary catheter. My head hurts, my elbows and knees hurt, and I feel like there are cuts on my back. I feel like I am in a dream because I cannot remember anything at all or how I got here.
[Retrospection]- After speaking with my family members, friends, neighbors, and dropping LSD the week after, this is what I happened. After awhile my friends reported that I was not responding normally to any of them. I jumped on my bed and tore down my curtains (hence when I thought I was tearing down a wall). My friends were desperately trying to talk me into chilling out, but I apparently tried to kill S (note I am a pacifist). S and I had wrestled and sparred in many occasions, but he said I had so much energy that he and the other guys couldn’t hold me down for more than a minute. After I had left the house, they left as well out of panic and claimed they were scared out of their minds. My neighbor saw me running around on the road, stopping in front of a car, and then dancing on top of it (I do not recall this at all). She then tried to talk to me, but I ran away from block to block as she and her other family members tried to catch me. She said I then went back to my house, ran upstairs and jumped from the balcony which is a good 15 ft. from the ground. I fell on my back somehow and hit my head on the concrete. I remember this part as I remember feeling something sharp in my head that was probably pain, but didn’t feel like pain at all. After I fell, her nephew, grandma, uncle and dad were sitting on me and holding me down because I was trying to resist again. They called 911 and the police and FBI came. They injected me with tranquilizers or some sort of drug to try to calm me down or put me to sleep.
Throughout the whole ride to the hospital I was said to be kicking and screaming. During my stay in the hospital, the nurses tried to take my blood and inject me with other things. My parents said that I kept fighting and ripped the tubes off my arms a few times, spurting blood all over the place. Finally they dosed me with a strong enough sedative to put me to sleep for a good amount of time.
I have always hated to have a bad trip, but this was beyond bad. This is the worst trip I could imagine myself to ever have. I am lucky to be alive because I really should be dead. Running into cars and falling on my head should have at least had me crippled, but I remain strong both physically and mentally. I had open sores on my head and my back, bruises on my knees and elbows, and big blue bruises on my arms where I ripped the tubes off. I highly respect drugs and I believe myself to be responsible doing this in a closed environment with friends. However, I do not regret my experience at all. Although being a train wreck experience, I have learned much about myself and the unpredictability of psychedelics. I do not understand why I had such a psychotic reaction from LSD as I do not think I have any underlying mental disorders.
I do not understand why I had such a psychotic reaction from LSD as I do not think I have any underlying mental disorders.
I apologize for such a long reading, but I hope you learn from my experience and be careful of your future experiences. Life is too beautiful and precious to lose.
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