Citation: itsdefinitelynotme. "Loss of Magic: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp88288)". Erowid.org. Dec 7, 2010. erowid.org/exp/88288
On Loss of Magic reported by some users: I write to suggest a few more questions that might be raised by the idea of a 'loss of magic' experienced in continued use of ecstasy/mdma.
Obviously, it's difficult to tell when it comes to ecstasy exactly what you're taking each time. In fact, without access to some seriously sophisticated equipment (likely a full scale drug-testing lab) it's impossible to tell exactly what you're taking.
However, from 'within the scene', talking to friends that are into the same things, random people at parties and the like (one of the best things about ecstasy is that you can tell when someone's on, and if they're on, they're up for a chat ;) it's perfectly clear that getting decent gear (quality drugs) is becoming more and more difficult, almost month by month.
Realistically, it seems the quality of street ecstasy drops periodically - off the top of my head I'd say every six month period sees a noticbly higher number of low quality 'batches' (colour/shape of imprint/press are the easiest identifiers of a batch, i.e. White Hearts [if we're talking 2008, mindblowing. If we're talking 2009/10, don't bother.]) and not only a lower number of good batches but also a lower quality in those good batches.
Nothing seems to be as strong as it used to be, or as 'clean' as it used to be.
Having said that, though, I do occasionally (increasingly rarely) run into something as strong, clean and enjoyable as it used to be 'back in the day'.
To give a frame of reference of sorts:
I started with ecstasy in early 2008. My first pill was essentially a dud, and I don't really count it as my first experience. My second pill (the one I count as my first) were the 2008 White Hearts. Double stacked (thick, heavy pills) and seemed to be Ice based (incredible rush at the start, lots of energy throughout) with a LOT of MDMA in them (the euphoria, sense of rightness, what every pill-fan looks for). They were some of the best I've ever had - probably the best. Around the time of the White Hearts, I also ran into White Mitsubishis (extremely weak by comparison, but still clean, euphoria-inducing, still good gear) and a little later the Green Hearts (hardest peak I've ever experienced). Following this period of good quality gear (whether strong or weak) followed the decline. Through the end of 2008 and most of 2009, my experiences, though still positive and enjoyable, were lesser and lesser each time. The highs were different, dirtier ('crackly' or 'fuzzy' feeling in the head, increase heart rate, tight chest, excess sweating to the point of discomfort) and Hangovers started becoming much more unpleasant. That trend seems to have continued quite along the same path for a long time now.
However, every now and then even during this period, I'd run into something that gave me the old feeling - the high I look for when I take ecstasy, without any of the headachey hangover bullshit ... the good, clean, euphoric ... (there's nothing in sober life that compares to the high I'm trying to explain.) Notably, Blue Crowns (end 2009) and Red Cherries (early/mid 2010) were amazing, and still got me to that level.
As an additional note, within the past few months (with ecstasy pills being the poorest quality I've ever suffered... I've never had four in a night and felt nothing, positive or negative, before) I've tried (twice) MDMA Capsules. Nothing but pure MDMA with a touch of speed added (to pick them up a bit so you actually feel like chatting and moving around). And those were /amazing/. Though I'm mostly over ecstasy (I still enjoy it very occasionally), there's a lot of talk around that's suggesting the 'love' is coming back, and that better quality, stronger, higher-MDMA content pills are starting to make an appearance once more on the street.
It seems to me that if my experiences fit the general trend, and that my friends are getting similar effects from the same substances (and this is an expansive group, mind you. Not just three or four of us), that 'Losing the Magic' seems more to be a result of poorer quality substances rather than building tolerances and the like. It's well reported that the quality of ecstasy has been declining, but I've not been able to find anywhere that says by how much, or how quickly. Indeed, I've had trouble even finding a definition for 'Quality' for the most part. I wonder how much, exactly, the composition of your 'average' (if you can find an average) ecstasy pill has changed over the past, say, ten years. I wonder, too, whether the composition of that average pill has a more direct influence on the experiences reported by users than does a tolerance development.
(I don't dispute that tolerance builds, and that it takes forever to drop away again, if it does drop completely at all.)
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