Citation: acidmothers. "Life Questioning Problem Solving: An Experience with LSD (exp88121)". Erowid.org. Mar 5, 2012. erowid.org/exp/88121
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I’d just like to say that this was a LONG trip. I took 1 tab, and about 9 hours into that I had another, effectively having 2 consecutive trips. Then there was the long long come down. By the end of it I hadn’t slept in 28 hours and was just fried mentally and physically. So, excuse me if this report is a bit long, but I don’t feel my trip is justified enough without the detail.
That aside, this was my second time doing acid. Far from my first experience with drugs though. Over the previous 2 years I had smoked a lot of weed of course, done copious amounts of DXM, DPH and LSA and had done other one-off encounters with salvia, speed, MDMA, Xanax and some painkillers. I considered myself pretty experienced with drugs and at that point impervious to a bad trip, taking into account all the DPH I’ve done and all the bad highs I’d gotten. The first time I did acid on a school night, alone in my room, and while it was fun I don’t think I truly experienced the acid experience. After looking for it again for a year, my dealer-good friend of mine told me that within the next week she’d get some LSD and that I’m more than welcome to take it with her and her friends. As nice as this was, I don’t think I would’ve felt the safest tripping with her Russian skinhead drug dealing muscly boyfriend and his friends. Nice guys and all, but I’m sure acid would’ve said otherwise. I asked her if I could buy 8 tabs for me and my friends instead, who haven’t previously done acid and she said she’ll see what she can do.
Fast forward a week and I’m in her apartment hallway staring at a tiny piece of tinfoil. She said to me “So, remember, there’s 4 with a bear on them and 4 with just colours on them. The one with bears on them are the really strong ones, don’t give them to your friends who haven’t done LSD before. The one without bears are... well, strong ones, ha. Enjoy!” and just like that she guided me towards the door, gave me a hug and told me to take care. So begin our LSD journey. My friend who was waiting outside had a huge grin on his face; we couldn’t wait to take it anymore. But we decided to at least wait till we’re on the bus to our friend’s house to take it. We came to the bus station at about 7pm. Full of impatience, we just said fuck it and went to the bathroom. Opening up this magic piece of tinfoil, we both glared down at the tabs. I carefully picked up my tab, a colourful little smiley bear was on it. I felt nervous. He took his colourful tab and we stared at each other, having second thoughts if we should do it or not (at that present moment). We did anyways, of course, and made our way to the bus stop.
Waiting at the bus stop I felt really nervous. I don’t know why. My foot was tapping and my heart was racing. My friend felt the same, but we felt confident. My mindset at the time was ok. I was doing fine in college, had good friends, but I was piss poor and was arguing with my girlfriend of 3 years. I kept thinking about spiders for some reason (I detest spiders) and my girlfriend. It made me feel a bit scared, what if these thoughts just turned up while I was tripping and then I had a bad trip? What if I started to freak out on the bus? Too late, I thought. It’s slowly melting on your tongue and you know you’re not going to spit it out.
The bus arrived and neither of us could wait to start tripping and to arrive at our friends. The bus journey was 1 hour 25 minutes, so we really needed to occupy ourselves. About 50 minutes later we began to feel good. REALLY good. Just very happy. It was identical to LSA happiness to say the least. We began to talk about rubbish, like how it feels like this bus is a womb and us 2 are twins. Our friend, a female, was coming to pick us up at the bus station. Then we theorized that she was our mother, meeting us at the exit of the womb and would guide us through the world (the city) to happiness (her house where our friends were). The excitement of thinking of seeing her was unbearable! The second we got off the bus we ran towards her and gave her a HUGE hug (so much that we hurt her breasts!), like a dog running to his master. Her already knowing we were a bit fucked up, she gladly purchased all of us an inter-city bus ticket to the house. On the bus, the LSA happiness started to wear. Not that we weren’t happy still, but the “LSD silliness” began to take over. We sat on the bus just grinning. Then I said to him “Hey, what if we fartled”? “Fartled...?” he inquired. “You know, when you get startled by someone and at the same time you fart.” On the finishing of my sentence the two of us roared into laughter. Just laughing and laughing and laughing at the top of our lungs. On a public bus full of people (no one seemed to hear us though, at least that’s what our friend said). After our little laugh attack (which there was way more to come), we asked our friend how long had we been laughing maniacally. She told us “Uhm, about 20 minutes!” Neither of us could believe it. It really felt like we had been laughing for just 10 seconds.
We got off at the bus stop close to the house. We stopped into McDonalds first though, our “mother” was hungry and we were obedient to our mother, like 2 little babies. While she was getting food at the counter, me and my friend stared at a marble table. The hallucinations were starting. We both saw kaleidoscope patterns along the marble table. “Cool, can see you it F, can you see it!?” “Yeah man, it’s moving all over the table!” At this point our friend grabbed both our arms, bag of food in mouth and dragged us out (not in an angry way). She told us we literally shouted it and there was 2 men behind us, staring at us. After devouring our burgers, which tasted more amazing than usual, we had our little walk to the house. To get to the house you have to go down this little alleyway in between 2 neighbourhoods. This was fine and all, I was in good company and the house was just 2 minutes walk away. Upon entering the alleyway though everything had a dark feel to it (it was 10pm by this point). The trees begin to get sharper and seemed to be pointing at me. Then I heard this loud metallic scraping, followed by the hissing of a snake. I, without thinking, sprinted to the end of the alleyway. I realized what had happened and laughed it off, I knew it was just the acid beginning to take effect and waited up for my friends.
We finally got to the house, where there was good vibes everywhere. All my friends were there, the atmosphere was good and I was on acid. It really began to take a hold now. I saw kaleidoscopes everywhere. My bodily feelings spiralled out of control. I just wanted to stretch and touch everything, my teeth felt really sharp and kind of sore. My hands numb. I didn’t care, I felt completely at one with the world. I handed my friend his tab of acid. Now there was 3 of us who’d be on acid. Nothing much happened for a while, me and my other tripping friend just enjoyed the patterns everywhere and kept having laugh attacks, which felt amazing by the way. Another friend arrived at the house to pick up his 2 tabs of acid. We offered him to trip with us, but he declined. That’s cool, he’s got things to do and places to be. While we were all having a cigarette in the living room, the friend that arrived began to talk about the acid experience. He was somewhat experienced with it, having taken it 5+ times. He said “When on acid, you’re like a little school child. Anything can you make laugh, take these 2 idiots for example (referring to us)” He began to smile really widely and waved his arms about. Me and my friend exploded into laughter. I just couldn’t help it, he looked so silly. We begged him to do it again and again until he finally said “I’m not gonna be your personal clown for the night! Later guys!” and like that he left.
Our other friend who had taken it began to trip. This is when all of us entered “question mode”. Every little thing, every idea and word, we’d elaborate and question. Having a basic conversation would turn into an elaborate, pseudo-intellectual conversation. An example would be this (each line representing a different person);
“Could you please pass the water? Wait, why don’t I get the water? Why do I even need the water? I’m hydrated and really don’t need any water”
“What do you mean by hydration though? Do you really feel hydrated and don’t need the water, or do you just think it? How can you tell what your body needs? Why am I making decisions for you? Why don’t I just let you get your water?”
“But why do you THINK you know if he’s hydrated or not? What if he really is? Where do you think you know how he feels? Why do I think I know how you think?”
Yes, that whole conversation ensued over me asking if I could get a bottle of water. This was a daily occurrence over the night, over ANYTHING. An apple, a name, what time it is, etc. It was pretty cool, but towards the end of the trip you just wanted to have a normal conversation without turning it into a question everything discussion.
We didn’t do much apart from wonder around the house in amazement and talk (that is, us 3. Our 3 other non-tripping friends stayed in the sitting room). I feel like I should mention my brief bad trip. While my 2 friends wandered upstairs, I looked for a mirror to look into and went into my friends room. A girly room it was. But that didn’t change anything. For some reason, when I stepped into the room, I felt REALLY alone. I just stood at the door, confused. Then the leopard patterns on her bed started turning into the shapes of spiders, her big mirror began to turn into an angry face and an absolute terror overcame me. I was so scared and felt so alone. I ran back to my friends upstairs and told them what happened. Then we had another big discussion about evilness and why the mind manifests these things. Then I wondered why that incident occurred, analyzed it and felt that it was absolutely pointless. However, my friend decided to turn off the light for a second. That was fine, I wasn’t scared anymore. Until he, in the darkness, turned really pale, grew big fang teeth, had red gleaming eyes and his hair turned into a big nest of barbed wire. I got scared again and turned on the light. We analyzed it again and I definitely felt I could take on the dark now. I wanted to get an evil hallucination. We turned the lights off and I looked at my friend. Sadly (or not so sadly) my friend turned into a Chinese man (he’s 100% white) and we all burst into laughter. The period of bad trips is gone I told myself and I smiled.
It was about 3am at this point, the hallucinations began to wear off and I didn’t want to stop tripping. I took another tab and wandered around the house where I met the first friend I tripped with. I told him I took another tab and he said “Uh oh”. I got kind of angry at this and asked why did he said that. He said “Well tomorrow, you’re going to be tripping really hard and no one else will be...”. “Wanker” I thought to myself. “He doesn’t know a fucking thing about LSD, this is his first time doing it. Doesn’t he know that since I didn’t take 2 at the same time I won’t trip THAT hard? Fuck him”. Then I explained to him that I’ll trip in the same way I just did and I’ll be fine. He said “Oh, ok. You’re more experienced with drugs so I’ll take your word”. I calmed down and went upstairs alone to think for myself. I sat down on a friends bed and felt “normal”. Emotionless, I guess. I heard a loud buzzing noise out of nowhere. Then I heard my friends talking, even though everyone was downstairs. Within seconds I felt like everything was caving in on me and evil faces began to appear everywhere. Amongst a bundle of clothes, on an ipod, etc. I ran downstairs back to my friends and sat in silence with them thinking “You’re only happy (can you even say you are?) because you’re with friends. In a few hours most of them are going home and you’ll be alone. You’ll have to go back to your house with your lame housemates and you’re going to freak the fuck out. Oh, and your girlfriend hates you.” I saw evil faces in all objects and began to feel really nervous, until my tripping friend said “Hey, I’m going for a walk. Space seems like it’d be awesome to look at!” I felt happier and comfier, I felt like I could talk to him one on one and I’d be safer. When we went outside, he told me “I’m gonna go get F (our other tripping friend), one sec)”. I told myself, standing outside in the grass completely alone in the dark at 4am, “You’re alone now. Fight your fears” and just like that I felt completely good about myself. To brighten it even more, my friend told me he wanted to take another tab and would buy the last tab off me! I felt great. Now I had money for some grub during the week AND another partner to trip with for the next few hours. Bad trip phase was really over.
After staring and discussing the stars for 40 minutes we all went in. Everyone had went to bed and the first friend I saw began to sober up. He was really tired and hit the hay. I was left alone in the living room with my friend, and both of us began to trip extremely hard from our new tabs. EVERYTHING was changing. The walls were shifting radically, the chandelier was constantly morphing into some psychedelic multi coloured pyramid with an eye on top and when we both looked at each other’s faces for just 2 seconds they would morph radically, REALLY radically. Anything from 8 eyed multi coloured aliens to native Indians to pirates. Typical LSD stuff, but it really is completely mind blowing when you experience it. Could we BE any higher? We laughed about it, and just sat in the living room listening to psychedelic music for 3 hours, chain smoking, enjoying the visual effects. Then the sun came up.
We had an excellent but cliché idea. Let’s go “sun worshipping”. We stepped out into the chill Irish morning air of 8am and stood in complete awe at the sun. Now I’m not really the guy that gets amazed by nature, but this was beautiful. The sun was radiating so many colours. It was purple, with a blue outline, giving out green, red, orange, yellow, pink, every type of colour rays. The clouds were full of colours too. The whole sky just revolved around this huge bright psychedelic sun. I saw faces, animals, people in the clouds. Swirling colours, birds flying and yes, again, this huge bright psychedelic sun. I cannot describe in mere words the stunning beauty of this sun. It is something you must go and see yourself. I think we just sat down and stared at it for 2 hours (then our eyes began to hurt ) and went back inside. The drug started to wear off, we had minor visuals but still had an LSD mindset.
I felt complete, tranquil. I went to an empty room of my friends (gone away for the weekend) and switched on the laptop. I went onto my facebook for some bizarre reason (not something I’d bother doing on psychedelic drugs) and saw an angry, disappointed comment from my girlfriend. My mind fell apart. I felt angry, confused, and sad. “This is it” I said. “I’m going to solve everything”. I wrote her a huge message, telling her how I’m just a human, I can never be perfect, but despite my flaws I do my best to make her happy and I love her with all my heart. That I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, that relationships are built on mistakes and understanding and I beg her to talk to me. I texted her from my phone telling her to come online to MSN and to check her facebook messages. She did, surprisingly, at 11am. She read my message and felt touched by it. She began to apologize too, saying how she’s sorry for always criticizing me, that she knows I’m just a human, but she just needs some reassurance of my love sometimes. She told me that whenever we argue, she still always loves me and never has doubts about me. She finished it by saying she’ll always protect and defend me. This made me cry so much. Knowing I had a partner who’d always be there for me and who will love me. Every little doubt I had, every fear or worry I had, just went out the window. The argument which we were having, which was pretty serious, was just solved in a matter of seconds. Both of us are confident we’ll last as long as physically possible. I really could not be happier with the result. And to think this all happened over the internet!
With that little encounter finished and her gone back to work, I realized I was extremely tired. My head was pounding, my body just exhausted and my eyesight blurry. I was still having small hallucinations, but not really tripping mentally. I remembered I took acid at 7pm yesterday and that it was now 12pm the next day along with the fact I woke up at 8am the previous day. I walked back home, lay down on my bed for and slept for 20 hours. I woke up the next day feeling super content with life. I tackled fear, saw the most amazing sunrise of my life, felt in love with the world and was completely satisfied with my relationship.
LSD is easily my favourite drug now and I really hope to take it again, in higher amounts. This was only 2 tabs spread out over a day! I can only imagine the beauty and wonders my next trip will be like.
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