Citation: Hazel. "A Bittersweet Experience: An Experience with MDMA & Mushrooms (exp8799)". Erowid.org. Aug 15, 2001. erowid.org/exp/8799
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It was the last night of our May 2-4 camping trip, and I decided that it was going to be a worthy last night. I was up with a bunch of my friends who were much more experienced with drugs than I am, but I trust them to take care of me, being the 'puppy' of the group. Most of my friends were either doing shrooms or e that night, but a couple adventurous souls were doing both together, so being with people that I trust implicitly, I thought I'd go ahead and try the combo.
I had done e before a bunch of times, and I'd always had a great trip, and same goes with shrooms, though I had never really experienced much of the visuals that I'd heard so much about and was so excited to experience. Well that would change this night.
We started by dropping the pill at 10 o'clock, then about 45 minutes later we munched. I don't really remember the e hitting me by itself, but once both substances were in my body, they had some kindof crazy party in my blood stream, lemme tell ya.
First off, let me say that it was cold, very very cold. And while it is true that I was with some of my closest friends, there were also a lot of people that I had only just met, and I was in a strange environment, and all of these factors together made the trip a little odd, to say the least. Usually I'm pretty careful about making sure I'm in a comfort zone if I'm trying something for the first time, but hell, it was May 2-4!
When the drugs hit it was pretty standard. It wasn't a very rushy e, (probably a good thing in retrospect), but I started to feel all energetic and tingly, so I was up and wandering down to the different campsites of people I knew.
As I said before, I'd never really experienced visuals with shrooms, just a little trailing and a wall or 2 breathing, so I was not even remotely prepared for what I was to experience that night. Nothing was what it seemed. I settled myself at a quiet little campsite that there were just a few scattered people around the fire, leeching in what little warmth there was. Suddenly I was in a different world. Everything became pixelated and choppy, and watching the fire was pretty interesting at this point. Once I started looking around though, I got a little unsettled. I realized just how much I'd lost my grasp on reality, and being in these strange surroundings, I wasn't feeling very confident about it. I'm sure there is a situation where being that fucked up would be fun, but I definitely wasn't in it.
I looked from face to face of the people around the fire, and they were all smiling these enormous smiles at me, but I knew they weren't. I tried to concentrate on them to see their real faces, but all I could see was the big pixely smiles.
I tried to look at the tents around the fire, but outside the area lit by the fire I could see a wall, as if suddenly I was in a room. I even saw pictures hanging on the wall, and I had to keep reminding myself that I was actually outside. I finally really understood what people mean when they talk about getting lost inside their own head. Physically, I was sitting at the campfire, but in all other aspects, I had no idea where I was.
A couple of my friends wandered by as they were going for a walk, and I didn't really know what I wanted to do at this point, so I decided to join up with them. I knew I didn't want to sit by the fire anymore, I was starting to get pretty antsy. Walking through the darkened trees was actually pretty interesting, but at the same time, this trip was scaring me. I had no idea what to do with myself. I didn't really want to go walking, but I thought maybe if I spent some time with my friends then I'd be able to relax and enjoy it. Basically, I was feeling very isolated and out of place. I don't think walking around really helped me calm down, but at least it gave me something to pass the time while I struggled through the peak of my high.
The campfire visuals were nothing compared to what I was about to see. I knew from travelling the path in the sober daylight hours that it was dotted with little trailers that people had decorated, adding little white-picket fences and lights and gardens. The campsite was a veritable village if you went exploring in the right direction. When I looked at these trailers though, I saw amazingly extravagant castles off in the distance, the kind you only see in fairytales. If we were ever to pass people on our trek, they were princesses in long flowing gowns, or knights in shining suits of armour. Really it was quite lovely, and I wish that I could just let go and let myself be high, instead of being so anxious about it.
Eventually we came back to our campsite and by that time I was starting that slow trek to 'sober', and was able to rejoin reality and enjoy what was left of the night. I wasn't chatty by any means, but I could tell when people were *really* smiling at me, and I could enjoyed the simple pleasure of spending time with friends.
Night became dawn, we cooked some corn in the fire, and eventually we decided to wander off to wherever we were all sleeping and get in a few hours before we had to pack up and ship out.
That night I experienced first-hand the discomfort of trying something new in a situation that wasn't completley comfortable, and I've learned my lesson. Looking back though, sure it was a bad trip, but if I had been cozy somewhere with just my closest friends, the trip held great potential. I'm definitely curious to try it again, but I think this time, I'll just stay home.
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