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Afraid to Go Over the Edge
2C-I & Beer
by agoraphobia
Citation:   agoraphobia. "Afraid to Go Over the Edge: An Experience with 2C-I & Beer (exp87873)". Erowid.org. Jan 15, 2017. erowid.org/exp/87873

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
7.5 mg insufflated 2C-I (powder / crystals)
  T+ 0:15 330 ml oral Alcohol - Beer/Wine  
  T+ 5:30 15 mg oral Pharms - Mianserin (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 65 kg


I've been an avid user of psychoactive drugs for several years before this experience. I used to drink a lot, several times a week, smoked weed pretty often, and experimented with LSD, Salvia, Cocaine, MDMA and Heroin prior to this experience. Although I thought I knew what I'm doing, I was in for a surprise.

My friend L introduced me to 2-CI. I've never heard of it, but she told me it had a strong hallucinogenic effect, combining a low dose of LSD and MDMA. I was curious, yet slightly suspicious. A night before the experience, I read about the substance. My best friend B said it sounds a bit dangerous, since I've never took a large dose of LSD and didn't go far over the edge, and since I have a history of Depressive episodes. I ignored his warning, and wanted to try it anyway.

So me and L and a bunch of other psychonauts meet at a party. That was my first mistake, trying new drugs at an unknown and crowded location, since I never know what my reaction will be like. L had a few mgs of 2-CI and she handed them around to me and our friends. I went into the club's toilet, snorted a fair share of a 10 mg pack, and gave the rest to a friend. That was when my troubles began.

T +00:00 - My nose hurts. The powder is stiff and hard, and I sneeze several times, suffering from a terrible headache each time.

T +00:15 I'm excited. Hanging around the club and looking for action. I meet two friends (who didn't take 2-CI) and we go to grab beer and sit outside.

T +00:30 I feel quite the same, getting strange rushing feelings going through my body. The beer tastes awfully sweet, like cola. I'm surprised by this effect and finish a whole bottle in 2 minutes. My friends tell me I'm talking too fast.

T+00:40 I'm gigglish. So hyperactive and distracted I forget there's even a party. Me and the other folks who took 2-CI sit on a bench outside the club, suffering hysterical laughing fits about nothing. We have tears in our eyes, and we're talking absolute gibberish. At this point slight visual distortions appeared, such as auras around street lights, people faces seem blurred. I ignore it and we continue to laugh and point at things until I get extremely nauseous.

T+1:30 It's around 3 am, and I go into the club to use the toilets. That's when I know something bad is happening. I couldn't go down the stairs. they kept moving and twirling away from me, like they were liquid. I went down slowly, while the music kept getting louder and scarier, yet slightly muffled.

T+1:40 I'm inside the club. I'm terrified. There is no ceiling where it used to be. Instead there's a dark void that goes up and up, with swirling red lights coming down at me like snakes. Instead of being giggly and amused like I was a few minutes ago, I can't move. I'm mesmerized to the red swirls, though I need to throw up pretty bad. I look away from the red lights and watch the people dancing. They have horns and they're huge, gaping at each other. It reminded me of the biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah, and I want out, but I don't know how to get out of this place. I fear like I'm going to be trapped forever, and I'm starting to hyperventilate.

T1:45 Time starts to move relatively to what I'm feeling at the moment. I'm still stuck near the doorway, afraid to go to the toilet because the monstrous creatures will catch me. All of a sudden I see a friend. She has a halo, white wings and her blond hair floats around her. I hold and hand and beg her to help me. With my last breathe I whisper 'toilets', and she walks me by the hand. I feel protected when she's with me, although the visual distortions are hard at this point. She promises to wait outside the door, and I go in.

T2:00 The toilets are very dark. There's a huge fountain with a mermaid sitting inside (which of course, didn't happen). She has a horrible face that reminds me of an evil drag-queen. She laughs at me as I'm staring away from her, and getting into a toilet cell. I can't seem to close the door. I struggle with it for a long time, and every time I think I locked it, it keeps moving away and away from me and then opens up, and horrid creatures stare at me, laughing at my shameful situation. I'm starting to panic. I'm throwing up and I cannot stop, and at this point I don't care whether the door is closed or not. I'm losing it, and I need to get out.

T2:30 My angelic friend is gone. everyone is still like sculptures, and no one answers me as I call for help. I rush and stumble out of the club. Outside I meet my friend B, who looks at me in shock. He offers to calm me down, and takes me to a nearby park with another girl who is a trained social worker, and wanted to help.

T3:00 B and the social worker hold me and stroke my head. This is the only thing that keeps me attached to reality.
T3:00 B and the social worker hold me and stroke my head. This is the only thing that keeps me attached to reality.
Everything else seems so blurred and distorted, and I fear I'm going over the edge and going to have a psychotic episode and be admitted to the hospital before the night is over. B tried to explain it's just panic, and I should let it go, and enjoy the ride, but I can't. Huge fire ants are all over the floor. The stars and the moon and orbiting around my head and I can't stop it. I cry and throw up and beg them to stop this. They Can't. They call everyone they know at the club, looking for some kind of benzo to calm me down, but no one seemed to have one. I keep crying and beg them not to call the mental hospital. I close my eyes tight and feel myself falling down to hell.

T4:30 It's early morning and I sit up. The social worker is sleeping on the bench, B is still stroking my head, looking exhausted. I'm finally able to speak like a human being, and the world seemed to calm down a bit. The visual distortions are less prominent - only in vivid colors and movements. I look over to the side over to a skyscraper, as it starts turning around, as if it's going to collapse straight on me. The whole world seems to be turning around, as if gravity is going to slip away and I'll be eternally stuck in this sideways universe. I hardly care anymore, worn out by throwing up and having constant panic attacks for the last hour. B holds my hands and gets me a ride home from a sober friend, and asks me to call him if anything bad happens.

T5:00 My friends hardly talks to me, as I explain to him I took something and wish to be left alone. He scoffs at me, but I beg him to leave me alone. We go through the city, where matrix-like slugs and black clouds begin to form. I'm so exhausted I don't feel scared anymore, I just want to sleep.

T5:30 I'm at home. I lived with my parents at the time, and I go over to watch their tiny sleeping bodies, wondering if I should wake them up. I decided against it, and I take half a tablet of mianserin, the only thing I had at home, which is an anti-depressant with strong hypnotic action. I don't care about any possible interactions, I just want it to be over. I just want to sleep and wake up sane again. I drink up the pill, and go to bed.

T5:45 I need something repetitive on TV, to make me fall asleep, and I choose the home shopping network. It was a pretty bad choice. The hosts appear as holograms in my room, offering me to buy some knives and end my miserable life. Every time I close my eyes they go away, only to be substituted by a vision of my beloved grandmother, weeping and asking me why did I have to do this to myself.

T6:00 Still can't fall asleep. The room starts flipping around, like the skyscraper an hour before. I hold the bed side really tight, clenching it with my fingers until my knuckles turn white, because I'm afraid I'm going to fall over to the other side.

T:13:00 I wake up. I'm confused and weak, but no more hallucinations, just constant anxiety. When I go outside, the world seems strange and detached. I still had the fearful notion It's going to flip over any second and I'll be stuck in a constant turnaround of gravity and fear.

I call the other friends who took 2-CI the night before. They all reported a pretty intense experience, but they seemed to enjoy it more than I.

---------
It's been 7 years since this experience, and I refuse to touch a drug ever since.
It's been 7 years since this experience, and I refuse to touch a drug ever since.
I quit drinking, and I don't even drink coffee. I kept feeling anxious a whole month after using 2-ci, and ended up with another major depressive episode, and with my first diagnosis of panic attacks and agoraphobia, which weren't around before I took 2-CI. I've been taking anti-depressants and benzos ever since, and going to therapy. The night seems to be like a major turning point of my life. I'm thankful I didn't go over the edge and ended up with a full blown psychosis, just depression and anxiety.

Nowdays I'm doing fine. However, when anxiety creeps in and I get a panic attack (like when I change my dose or medication), I get terrible flashbacks from that night. I still awfully scared that the world is going to flip over, although I know it's not possible. On the bright side, only after this night I figured out how much I love B. We started dating, and we got married a few years later.

At a conclusion, 2-CI is a very powerful substance. The trip is unexpected and not linear. Just when I thought it's done and I'm in the sane zone again - I found out I was back to tripping hard again.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 87873
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 20 
Published: Jan 15, 2017Views: 1,732
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2C-I (172) : Club / Bar (25), Post Trip Problems (8), Hangover / Days After (46), Depression (15), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)

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