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Making LOVE with the Universe
Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & P. viridis) & Cannabis
by PsillyBoy
Citation:   PsillyBoy. "Making LOVE with the Universe: An Experience with Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & P. viridis) & Cannabis (exp8786)". Erowid.org. May 12, 2004. erowid.org/exp/8786

 
DOSE:
4.0 g oral Syrian Rue (ground / crushed)
    repeated smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  10 g oral Psychotria viridis (extract)

BODY WEIGHT: 10 kg


The foreplay begins as soon as I arrive home after work on Friday…
I place my key in the lock; cross the threshold and check the cage that catches the letters, She releases a postcard – Information that a book I ordered has arrived: ‘Ayahuasca Visions’ by Pablo Amaringo…

Now, this is a good sign – for today I decided would be the day of the brew…

First thing I do is begin cleaning the kitchen and my room. I’m cleaning for her, putting myself in the necessary mindset for interaction…

I take a glass casserole dish; this dish will house conversion of our shared intent into a common action: Extraction. (All figures are guesstimated)

I mix 15ml of lemon juice in about 100ml of boiled tap water in the bottom of the dish, just to soften her up a bit. With care and respect I take the leaves of her host ‘Chacruna’ (Psychotria viridis) from a zip-lock baggy. I take one handful at a time, crumbling the leaves into my pestle & mortar for further grinding… All in all six handfuls of various sizes go into the casserole dish, just under 30g. I go into the kitchen and fetch her a glass of 75ml lemon juice to 250ml boiled water, when I re-enter my bedroom I announce the intent of my action:

“Here is our meeting place, the fluid of communication… I ask for your spirit to enter this liquid, to infuse the solution…”

I pour the juice over her and stir a while with my wooden spoon. A few inhalations of Ganja herb as I contemplate my actions… She asks for another glass. This cycle manifests once more – three glasses prepared as detailed… So She is swimming in an acid solution, will her tryptamine alkaloids migrate (?).

I prepare the gas stove as an alter, a candle either side and some sweet incense burning above… A small blue ring of gas where she shall sit.

And there she sits. I stir her occasionally over the course of the next five hours; the murky white of the acid solution has turned a deep red brown by the end of her slow simmer… I edge off the lid slightly, leaving a small gap to prevent the flow of plant material as I pour the liquid into a glass saucepan. I re-submerge her body in a solution of approximately 150ml lemon juice to 500ml of boiled water and ask her soul to migrate. She simmers as I sleep… Blessed be.

I awake and perform another pour off into the saucepan. I leave the extracted solution uncovered, with just enough heat to create a spiraling expulsion of steam where her aqueous solution meets the air. One last extraction is set into action, this time about 100ml lemon juice in 400ml boiled water. I leave the following words (and the Cosmic Circle Cross) inscribed upon a post-it-note for her protection:
“Leave
Brew
Be
Becoming”

And I set off to acquire some more Ganja to burn as I work. On my way back home I purchase a measuring jug and a funnel as well as the necessary food supplies for a comfortable nights camping.

The final simmer ends after five hours, I add this last extraction (still reasonably deep in color) to the others and continue boiling her off.
I take an old pillowcase and cut off a corner, scooping the sodden plant material from the casserole bowl and placing it inside. I squeeze her body in my fist and watch her soul emerge from between my fingers and flow below into the saucepan… I do not discard the leftover plant material but decide to pack it in my bag, out of respect I cannot ‘chuck it away’ – I must take it with me and ‘lay it to rest’, return it to the cycle somehow…

I leave the culmination of my efforts: a thick (about fruit juice consistency) suspension of red brown particles, to boil down some more while I prepare for the voyage… I pack my white linen trousers and my orange poncho with ritual intent, I pack a bunch of other clothes to keep me warm – and a sleeping bag to contain my body while Mind wanders. I take some personal power objects: two Buddha for insight and protection, two crystals for focus, a special stick with which to stir fire and direct will… I also pack ‘The active side of Infinity’ by Carlos Castaneda to read should I need, and some paper upon which to write if it feels right. Last thing in the bag is my pestle & mortar and a baggy containing about 10g of Syrian Rue (Peganum harmala)…

I follow her delicate spiritual fragrance into my kitchen: She sits on the stove deep red brown and steaming, I place my face above her liquid body and breathe in her ever flowing breath – bless my head in her steam – As I return some breath to her I open my eyes, I see the sight of my eye cast in light… reflected from her shining surface…

The volume of the Chacruna extraction is down to just over a pint, I want to boil it off some more (‘Surely I can’t get a whole pint down?’) but the last bus to my destination is not far from departure… I pour it from the saucepan into the measuring jug and finally through the funnel (fitted with a pillowcase filter) into a clean plastic bottle. I have to say my attempt at filtration is poor; she is too viscous to pass through the tight crosshatch of the cotton any faster than a drip a minute – ‘This will not do!? I have bus to catch*!*’

I end up giving her a helping hand by picking up the folded cotton triangle and giving it a shake, then a squeeze… A few moments later I have this divine DMT solution contained in a bottle, and an old section of pillowcase covered in a thick layer of red brown plant bits.

The foreplay is almost over… I set off for Shell Bay…

So here I am, somewhere between the start of the story and sitting here typing it, the wind is blowing my locks in all directions – massaging my skull… The bus stops to pick up some more passengers, I take advantage of this brief respite from the Wind to light a small spliff – Ah! The joys of the open top bus!! I’m transported from the town center to Sandbanks ferry via the Bournemouth coastal roads; a sporadically clouded Sky seems closer than usual – the clouds almost touchable!

And so I board the ferry with a hot chocolate in my hand (my first food today but for water and fruit) and I watch as we retreat from the mainland… A short crossing to the other side: A peninsular of sand, beaches surround and heather plains inland… Swampy copses hold themselves around the veins of water passing through to the Sea, lone trees are suggestive of Africa – but this is a place of Deer & Hare, Gull, Crow & Butterfly, Red ants & Wild flowers…

I trek a short distance along the beach before I reach my turn inland, passing down sandy paths through purple heather and yellow gauze, towards my destination: A circular dune rooted by plants and built up by the Wind’s own hand, its medium sand. I arrive, giving my praises and blessings to this magical place. I place my heavy baggage in a heather bush and go off to forage for firewood. There are some felled birch, dried by the Sun and hollow from the Wind, that yield one good load – all I shall require for a small ceremonial fire. I also find some nice sections of bark that I take with the intention of painting upon… I dump my firewood at the dune and begin slowly unfolding myself into my surroundings. I spread my poncho not far from the intended site of the fire, here I sit and smoke up a haze while I clarify my intent: I intend to initiate myself fully into the life I have been cultivating, to become closer to what I am. I intend to transmit Perfect Peace & Love to all capable of reception (and that is all).

I read a chapter from Castaneda’s book: ‘The intent of infinity’ – It is most apt to my current situation. Unfolding some more involves placing an effigy of Buddha in the raised center of the dune, facing the soon to set Sun. I place another Buddha on the wall of the dune, facing the Sea, our town and the direction of the rising Sun. I place my two crystals on the bark I collected earlier, either side of me, perpendicular to the line of the Buddha. I mark the site of the fire with my special stick – drawing a circle, round and round, then I mark the cross through its center… Blessed be. I make three more inscriptions of the Cosmic Circle Cross in the sand around my poncho: The circle above my head finds a shell at its center, I leave it be… Praise thee.

Here & Now I take out the Chacruna brew and place it beside me.
Here & Now I take out the Syrian Rue and place it beside me.

I place two palm-sized measurings of Rue into the pestle & mortar and begin the grind. I manage to crush a good few of the tough little seeds as the Sun moves closer to the Horizon. Anticipation rising…

There are a few dark clouds collecting at the edges of an otherwise inviting Sky. I have no tent with me and decide to voice my intention that the Weather stays good… ‘I intend that the Sky stays clear, no rain on me, the Stars shall shine through… I Praise thee & send my Blessings to you.’ I feel strange immediately after having spoken this, had I supposed to interfere beyond a respectful level? Was I a fool to ask such a significant force to keep such an insignificant thing as me from the damp? Was being wet really all that bad?

I calm my nervous ego by formulating a deal with the unknown… A spell for protection: ‘I pray for Protection from the forces of Peace & Love… Should I be given it I shall endeavor to ensure I am always worthy of protection in the eyes of Perfect Peace & Love Profound.’ This certainly worked to calm a nervous mego; I believe it also goes beyond.

I take a healthy pinch of Peganum between three fingers and my thumb (estimated amount just over 1g) place it in my mouth and swill it back with water. It is bitter and Earthy but it goes down and stays down without a quibble… I let it settle before standing with my special stick and tracing two laps of a large circle, its circumference contains my possessions, the fire and I, all but the more distant sentry Buddha – In eternal ecstatic observation… I repeat the dose of Rue and dual circle laps twice more, now sat-is-fact-orally-dosed I offer the small amount of leftover seeds to each of the four elements in their perceived directions…

While I await MAO Inhibition I use the last of the fading light to craft a few reefers, thinking this may be the last opportunity to do so for a little while…

Here & Now, the Sun light is falling elsewhere on our orb… The subtle suggestibility of Nighttime rolls in with the effects of the Harmaline, Harmala…

I decide I will soon be ready to consume the brew and I set about attempting to light the fire… You should know that I placed the leftover plant material from my brew at the center to this fire, mirroring its consumption by flame would be my own – Two burning energy centers in my circle, Chacruna at the center of both…

But the fire refuses to light for me… The Rue is pleasantly active and in my heightened but nervous state I begin to worry that it was perhaps wrong of me to build a fire around the Chacruna, maybe it did not wish to be consumed by flame but buried or scattered? I build little flares to stick underneath the newspaper but to no avail, any flame ends up a smolder, I have no desire to frustrate myself (the Wind is intense and making things difficult) and I believe that perhaps I am to carry on without a fire…

I take out the brew and unscrew the cap, smelling this fruity Amazonian juice I imagine it may not be so difficult to consume after all… I hold this thought instead of my nose as She slips down my throat, one big gulp straight down is fairly bitter and entirely plant-tasting but quick to fade into a ‘not so bad’ aftertaste…
She does feel strange in my stomach, so I take a few tokes of Ganja herb and sit with it. I probably took no more than 50ml in that gulp, there is still about 450ml of my intended dose to go… I am slightly apprehensive therefore I worry not that I probably cannot drink the lot for full effect tonight, I feel altered enough as it is from the Rue & Marijuana!

I see a bright yellow star/planet (Venus?) that I have been noticing recently (after a spell with Mars) and I command it to ‘Shine through’ and I bless it… The Wind is moving the clouds fast across the Sky but my stomach is a contrasting calm. I am beginning to sense things flowing past in the darkness, just out the corner of my eyes… The silhouettes of heather, grass and tree dance a little more than usual: The darkness they possess is having problems defining itself against the lighter dark of the rushing clouds in the swift Night Sky…

I take another gulp of the brew with a certain contented happiness arising from my thoughts that this maybe the last gulp I attempt: The Fire leaps into flame!!! I am astounded by this synchronicity; the Wind must have kept on at some hidden smolder… But no sooner had the bottle left my lips than there was flame!!
Fantastic!

I watch as the wind builds – bearing down on the fire, pushing it away from the wood into the ground… the edges of my circle sand-barrier fanning it slightly up & out:
I am overjoyed at being in the presence of Fire…
I am Aries – particularly attuned to this element.

I restate my intent of transmitting Peace & Love, receiving Power & Protection… Reforming myself as that which I know I am, that which I know I can be… I sense so profoundly that I recall seeing a shock-wave rainbow of ripples emanating out from the boundary of the larger circle I had drawn…

Suddenly I need to purge myself, the need to puke arises so unexpectedly that I forget my plan about just walking calmly toward the grassy area at the center of the dune and letting it flow… Stomach spasm, I stand up quickly and look about quickly trying to figure out what I should do: What should I do? Didn’t I have a plan? I run out the back of my circle then calm slightly, stomach spasm, ‘Go near Sun-set Buddha’ and I head for the grass – here I stop moving and give my stomach the ‘go ahead’… I dry heave twice and I worry that I may not be puking just once and getting it over with… My stomach spasms again and I expel a small amount puke, it just doesn’t seem to be coming up… I hunch over and help my stomach spasms with some pressure from my fist: Now I let forth a healthy stream of bile and I am enjoying myself. One more purge and I take my hands off my knees and stand up straight – Spit a bit and smile! I feel much better, very well in fact, and I stop worrying about how to wipe my mouth when my sleeve just does it…

I re-enter my circle the opposite side from which I left, symbolizing my cleansing… I am anew… I lie on my back and watch the stars peeping through the gaps of the fast moving (now further dispersed) clouds:
The colorful geometric circus played out in my retina has the Sky for its projection screen – There exists a focus to this circus, a ‘ringleader’, permanently at the center of my visual field… A fractal skin peels from him and floats down towards me, it is She!
Things begin to suggest other dimensions…
Clouds are figures flying across the Sky, all recognizable to me – All friends & family from one place or another… Some of them stop and interact with I, revealing motion beyond personality… A very good friend of mine dances into my mind and out again – This I understand as it is…

I feed the fire some more and crawl inside my sleeping bag… Those two gulps have permitted me an experience of an intensity I would never have imagined!
Still She rises.
I begin to sense the infinite in every phenomenon on every level in every moment…
Mego mutters on until it hits an ending word… Like ‘e-goooooooo’ and then its gone:
Then Eye and I loop through the endless circuit of being and come back where I left off…
Where I slip off again…
And again.
Again.
(A-gain)

As I loop through the circuit I begin to build up a better picture of the overall structure of BEING, its infinite complexities arising from a permanently productive ecstatic sex with itself… Images of some chocolate-skinned Goddess straddle me, blacking out the disturbing witch that was naked before me… I’m sort of back in my body and the imaginal realms, my heart is beating fast and I encourage the images of the Goddess to stiffen my cock…
And then the blood is beating through it & through me and I masturbate for a while…
Just ecstatic… Making LOVE to the Goddess… And the images of her begin to fade, I release my cock without spilling my seed – right now I understand that I never wish to put that to waste… I have images of retaining that energy – feeding myself with it… Then there are little super-sperm growing in my super-balls and I vow that only Superwoman is getting them!!! Hahaah!

The tide is going back out, I come back to the sensing in the darkness… Is that a Man? No it’s a Tree but you sense its spirit – calm yourself… I feed the glowing embers of the fire and soon it flames again.

I fight fear of the dark and my self-imposed loneliness with Power of the Circle & projection of Perfect Peace & Love Profound… I feel myself as a beacon and pray that I attract so much Good that Evil dare not approach, though I feel its presence (as well as the presence of some huge UFO just beyond the veil of the clouds – Wait... I see it?)… I am assured of the triumphant nature of Love every time I conquer Fear and this assertion makes me stronger still. I get the feeling the UFO is going to stay in observation for now, in neutral… I certainly do not desire abduction; I think I may even fear it…
I see there is a huge circle above my circle – inscribed in the clouds!
As above, So below…
E-gooooooooo… going… going…
*Try a toot*
Gone.
*It’s a hoot*
Back.
*In cahoots?*
Gone…
Inner roots…

After taking a toke on a spliff, our Man, who was sitting cross-legged, slowly leaned back – his hands coming to rest behind his head, elbows up & out… The configuration of his limbs reminded him of the mid-section of the Tree of Life… He looked for the Soul of Man and he found it at his center…

Hello?
Heylo?
HALO…

The angles, of my triangles… The Angels…
Can you see them in the ‘ringleader’?
Can you see them in the Stars?
They reflect themselves above and below and in every direction out into infinity,
Then her arms unfold – leaving tracers… becoming more arms…

SHIVA!!!

How I wish to please her!
That is my intent!!

LOVE IS ALL!!!

Another wave retreats, and by some amazing feat:
There is my protection… A huge Rasta in the sky, manifest in the clouds, is it I?
Who am I?
Here I am…
On the ground, feeling sick…
The wave is coming back in, surging through my body and pushing puke onto the sand beside me, which is me for a second before I am me again…
Then I purge myself from myself once more and re-enter.
I have to lie on my side as I leave myself, I cannot support my weight…
My stomach contorts and I feel pain – not just physical distress but the distress of being expelled from myself and then accepted… then expelled then accepted…
It gets less like pain and more like the sheer intensity of existence until I can no longer contain myself, this is the last of the purge and I roll onto my back…

Infinite… then definite – Yes, definitely sweating – Heart beating fast…
I crawl out of my sleeping bag, peeling off another layer of personality with it…
Depth perception and angles are all sorts because I am perceiving from so many places, taking off a jumper is a transcendental delight because I am perceiving from so many dimensions… Still I sweat, is this dizziness? No… it’s disassociation… diffusion… Confusion for a while, then the Wind cools my burning body and I slip into a lesson:

Every time I close my eyes I become that nothing… adjusted to the infinite non-action of that nothing… Something:
So I open my eyes and suddenly I’m flowing out into everything… enjoying the infinite results of that one-action… Becoming too intense, my body twists, back to nothing:
So I open my eyes and suddenly I’m flowing out into everything… enjoying the infinite results of that one-action… Becoming too intense, my body twists, back to nothing:
So I open my eyes and suddenly I’m flowing out into everything… enjoying the infinite results of that one-action… Becoming too intense, my body twists, back to nothing:

And this in itself is a joyous blissful agonizing eternity of flux between identity and BEING, off and on, On and on… then longing and seeing and feeling and BEING and SEEING and BEING to infinity (even beyond! As Buzz would say)…

That’s what I am:
What I am:
I AM.

Each time is increasing or superior or just different but the same… Evolved on somehow, mutated maybe… But baby it’s all the same because it’s new… KNEW… There is no memory of what has gone before… Just the living product of it… Extending infinitely from where it’s been to where it’s going in a big fat Circle (which (when viewed from multiple dimensions) is really a Spiral)… Man! It’s all so complex I think I’ll just ride it for a while… Smile…

And then I start to think that I may have to shit… Am I already shitting? My body grumbles and growls so I take it to the edge of the circle, I walk on my hands and feet with my stomach facing the Sky, which reminds me of that little girl from the Exorcist, and all of a sudden paranoia is present – I cannot leave the circle! I dig myself a pit and sit my bum in it. *Ignore the Evil – Spread Love* I feel a rapturous energy stir in my bowel so I raise myself above my pit and wait for it… Nothing but a humongous fart results, even when I try and push – effort feels far too strange so I stop it… I crawl away (still in crab-position) from my no-shit pit towards my water bottle…

I drink and immediately know my mistake – The water hits a strange plateau inside me and sloshes about on this flatness… I feel hollow now I can feel this water-platform inside me – It seems to reach right to the edge of my being… I need to puke again and am not so sure I will not shit simultaneously – back to my pit, where I manage to puke with great ease but not shit… This whole experience is rather disconcerting; all events being scrutinized by a vivid awareness – all infected with a subtle paranoia – Shit and Puke and an irrational Fear of death (poor little mego)… I cast a spell while my butt is submerged in Sand, I ask to be grounded – I can hardly deal with this constant barrage of Spiritual Physicality… This flux, this off and on and on and on…

I check my arse with my hand and can tell its clean, trousers back up time! This time I take the water only to swill around my mouth, this refreshes me rather than freaks me out and I realize I am now feeling good but starting to shiver… I crab-crawl back over to my sleeping bag and slither inside her. I fall back into her arms and anticipate the final stretch. I leave the glowing embers of my fire to fade…

I manage to extend my awareness to check far beyond my circle, it’s clear… everything seems near… Do you want to go home? And I could be by my window and float in and go to sleep but I will wait it out here… I am so tired…
But isn’t it BEAUTITUL. e v e r y t h i n g i s j u s t p e r f e c t . . . . . . .

A big ferry passes by Shell Bay; its loud hum reaches me and infests me – won’t let me rest… I am arrested by this constant drone; I cannot escape to sleep – I cannot hear anything else – That sound is all… Then I start to lose myself and the buzzing becomes the eternal laugh of Buddha… Whom I can see in the clouds as well as hear!

Staring at the Stars is what I am for a while, when they shoot I intend my intent to manifest – I wish… Perfect Peace & Love Profound…
Things for me and you to do abound…
Around and around and around…
I become the sand… ‘There is no sand in my eye.’
I am told that I know what to do and I do… and I do it for you and for all of us.

There are Fishermen on the beach and in my state their drunken shouts reach…
They combine with a re-merging ego to produce paranoia, delusions…
Are those shouts of anger? Are they gypsy fishermen on some sort of peace-shattering rampage? What would they do if they found me? They could never enter the circle, all the same I conjure up another antidote delusion to combat the first – I imagine that anyone passing me would see only Sand, and I think there may be some truth in this… And… The Evil gypsy fishermen are on the rampage and I hear a dog bark – ‘Stay back my friend!’ I begin to believe that the Evil gypsies are soon to pass me by… (The shouts are closer – that is my only justification, that and a feeling that is either intuition or illusion, I am too confused to tell any difference)… ‘Move over to the tree, a safe place to sleep’… But I am in my circle? Yes, but the gypo’s will be here soon – leave your possessions in the circle and go hide under that tree – they will rob you and leave… There are Red Ants by the tree and I feel it may be them calling me over…
This is too much – Everything is either trying to push its way in or pull me out… I place my faith back in my circle spell and begin fighting the useless paranoia that I will be killed in my sleep, or rather – that I will cease to exist and that will be it…

I phase back in with some buzzes and rings and all sorts of outside things so close I feel them inside me buzzing and vibrating and building and threatening to become me or with a paranoid slant: overcome me but I manage to calm it down…
Getting closer to sleepy town…
That’s a Smile not a frown, no we’re up not down, no there is no direction when your all around but every direction is all around… so I frowned my way back round to smiling. In what direction is sleep? And how might I find it?

I am there my dear… sleeping… nothing… bliss…

And I awake, not knowing how sleep came but knowing it must have done because I just woke up… I look up and see the fast gray clouds still sprinting across the Sky… I didn’t die! Hehehe… I have a chuckle at some of the delusions I entertained – I feel ecstatic Love for the Other (within/without my self) and the wisdom I gained; I find half a spliff beside me and smoke it up… Up… So Jesus visited me last night, somewhere between Shiva & Buddha – Perhaps he was with me all the time… Christ consciousness sure feels fine – We are all Sons & Daughters of the Divine… We are all One - divided into Two then Three, and Six and on to infinity…

So I think that in some way – though all is One – Good & Evil do exist…
You can make the ‘wrong’ decision…
“Know yourself as Divine seed, respect and care for yourself… Cultivate Love & Happiness in your Heart… Always try to better yourself, do not fear evolution…
Do not fear change…
There is Righteousness & there is Truth, of this I am proof – Live like me so that every Man might…”
This is what Christ means to me, this is what I hear when I speak his name…
If you do not agree then remember you are not me. And try to find out for yourself…

Here & Now, a few drips of Rain start their fall, really pretty minor stuff… I simply pull my poncho from below me and place it above… I enjoy the few specks that hit my face, fully feeling the cleanliness of this purified Sky water… Praise thee & Blessed be.

Eye see Isis rises… She pops out from behind a cloud and I bless her, sleeping satellite:
Master of the night –
Intuition she emanates, guiding me in the suggestible darkness…
I see her now in the light of day… In a new way:
Contemplation protects the intuition she emits…
Contemplate (reflect upon) her reflection of the Sun…
Of the Soul of Man…

Man!!!

“Everything is relative…
…We are all relatives…”

I begin folding myself away – leaving some here but taking some with me… The circle that surrounds me remains unbroken, of the smaller Circle Crosses only the one at my head remains (I must have slithered over the other two)… I take the shell from its center… leaving my blessing in its place.

I feel very special and remain highly sensitive to the ecstasy of existence, the soft rain pitters out…
Dark clouds cling to the distant Horizon, however, here above me: Blue Skies (still hinting at Sun rise) prevail… until the gray does indeed draw the veil.

So I begin my trek back along the beach, seemingly lighter on my feet but I know I weigh the same – Calm, easy, firm steps that roll smoothly from heel to ball and back again – All I have to do is pay attention (who accepts his own utilization as payment)…

As I watch the fantastic peninsula shrink away from me, the huge underwater chains that drag this ferry along clank and chatter… I am stunned into silence… It is golden!

Crossing the channel… I’m back on the other side:

I sit under a tree while the Sky decides to drip a little; as I await the appearance of my bus ride home I watch the cars cuing up, ready to board the ferry: An old gray-haired man is mingling with the stalled vehicles; he is collecting for a Cancer charity… I see him approach a few windows, often an arm will drop some cash into his bucket, other times people will get out their cars and deliver a donation to him –
Here I see him fighting cancer, not through donation to research, but by allowing those tormented non-thinkers to drop their guilt into an old mans bucket… He allows these people some release from their tension and guilt – the root of all tumor… And so they give to him, to feel a little better themselves…
But this is a brief respite, and soon their frustration will build again and they will find themselves overly emotional, perhaps ill… All because they lack the skill to transcend themselves, they see in front or behind and that is how they travel, they live in straight lines so will never build a map of themselves beyond rationality, beyond what they think is true, what they think they know… They will live who they think they are, without ever knowing who they might have thought themselves to be…

An open-top bus arrives, I thank infinity for all I have known, been shown, in this place… and I climb the steps to sit by myself under the Sky – It rains a bit but I am happy to be spat upon from above, I relax into my journey home…

It is not long before I am funneled back into the straight-lines and Soul-restraint of Bournemouth town center… I have to keep glancing up at the Sky to remind me of my nature… Why have we done this to ourselves? We are not the roads we travel… we may turn off at any moment… why build walls? We are new in every moment… we are free – we exist in all directions at once, there are no limits…
But we build our own limits, concrete boxes we must live in – jobs we must do, all the while maintaining the illusion of happiness – some not even bothering to do that…
Well, happiness is… it simply is!
You must have forgotten how to BE!!
Re-new your selves, re-birth, change, become the latest trend – the heights of fashion:
Become this moment… Become you… NOW… HERE...

Sitting in the Gardens watching folk walk by, a Fox walks by –
I am waiting for the bookshop to open so I can go and collect my order: ‘Ayahuasca Visions’…
A Magpie makes itself known to me, so I greet it and comment on its beauty…
I sense little messages relating to the success of last nights transmittion:
Peace & Love for all…
Every person and every thing seems a little happier this morning; I reason that it may just be a reflection of my mood… I keep on reasoning: Even if it is a ‘mere’ reflection of my mood – I can be sure that it is happening…
I can be sure that I owe it to myself and to others to put myself in this ‘mood’ as often as possible, for this feeling is contagious –
This feeling is attractive…
This feeling is attraction in non-action:::
Perfect Passive Peace-filled Love…

The Sunday shops open and I go to pick up my book…
I really feel nervous about having to say ‘Ayahuasca Visions’ out loud in a crowded shop… I feel nervous because I’m thinking about the Spirits, considering my respect for them – Not because I will surely come across like some mad trip-head in front of the shop assistant…I am physically shaking as I tell him I have ordered a book and I start to think that all this apprehension is actually a result of the intense significance of this moment: A significance I am only too aware of… A result of the vast web of inter-connectivity that receiving this book at this moment in my life symbolizes…

He asks for my name instead of the title of the book and soon he is handing me a large glossy paperback with some fantastic depiction of the infinite beaming out at me from its front cover… Blessed be & Praises to thee…

May I find the lock with my key…
May the door swing on open for me…
May I pass through all limits and be free…
Can I do this and still remain me?
No?
Your self?
Know yourself…

(Psilly Persistently Pushes Perfect Peace & Love Profound to all Brothers & Sisters)

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 8786
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: May 12, 2004Views: 42,301
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Huasca Brew (268), Psychotria viridis (170), Syrian Rue (45), Ritual (129) : Alone (16), Personal Preparation (45), Sex Discussion (14), Glowing Experiences (4), Preparation / Recipes (30)

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