Citation: hannie. "An Entity of Love and Kindness: An Experience with Morning Glory & 2C-I (exp87534)". Erowid.org. Dec 25, 2013. erowid.org/exp/87534
I had been experimenting with psychedelics for about a year when I made the decision to ingest Ipomoea tricolor
seeds. Previous to my trip, I had had a moderate level of experience with these types of drugs and I had (after a period of research) developed an interest in trying morning glories.
I collected a large handful of pods off of a large Heavenly Blue vine I found growing on a fence in my neighbourhood. I discovered, after separating the seeds from the plant material, that I had collected a total of 160 seeds. I resolved to eat 100 of them the following weekend on a day I had the house to myself.
It was an unusually warm autumn Friday upon which I awakened early to prepare for my trip. I cleaned my house, ate a small breakfast and packed a meal in a backpack, for I decided that (if I felt well) I would go on a bike ride for the first part of my voyage. It was at 10:00 am that I put 100 seeds in my mouth and chewed them thoroughly. Now, I had considered that the absorption of the LSA would probably be more rapid if I held the seed paste in my mouth for as long as possible. It was difficult, however, to force myself to keep the goo in my mouth – the paste had a decidedly unpleasant flavor that, for the first few minutes, had a vague tingly sensation to it. I have read others describe the taste as a combination of spinach and perfume – this is as accurately as I could describe it. I managed to keep it in my mouth for about ten minutes before I swallowed it with sips of water.
I waited a while before embarking on my bike ride. I had read before that nausea was a common side effect of morning glories, so I decided it would be best if I stayed within the safety of my home to ensure I felt well before leaving. My stomach felt mildly unsettled for the first 45 minutes, but after that point, I could notice no unpleasant body load.
It was approaching 11 am as I began to realize the effects would not be as strong as I might have hoped. I chewed another 50 seeds and waited a further hour to be sure before leaving on my bike ride. Before departing, I noted some mild visual changes (for a moment, a very slight pattern assembled itself upon my ceiling), but still no remarkable effects. At 12:10 pm, I stopped for a moment at a park along the bike path. At this point, I noticed that my capacity for introspection and critical thought had increased as I casually turned over in my head a conflict I had with a friend recently. While sitting upon a swing, I opened my wallet to check for money and I found a 10mg dose of 2c-I (left over from a period when I sold it) nestled in one of its pockets that I had forgotten about. After some careful consideration (I would be alone this day, and I was certain I would be able to handle eating this dose), I took it (this was at about 12:15pm now).
For the majority of my 2 hour bike ride, the effects of the drugs remained subtle – I felt a mental clarity and noted a very slight intensification of colours. It was on my way home (the time approaching about 1:30 pm at this point) that I felt the first rise in my trip. While I had been riding my bike at a relatively lazy pace along the path, my speed now decreased further: although I could see no visuals, I knew my trip had begun because, in addition to the previous sensations I described, I now felt a certain heaviness in my limbs. As I arrived home around 1:45 pm, I paused upon entering my doorway: I immediately noticed that some patterns were beginning to manifest themselves upon different surfaces within my home. I drank a glass of water and went upstairs to take a shower as I was quite sweaty after my jaunt.
The patterns I was seeing, I thought, I could attribute to the 2C-I – I had a fair amount of experience with that chemical and I had learned to recognize the distinct visuals that it produced. However, I noticed in the shower some interesting hue shifts. The light filtering though the shower curtain would suddenly look redder than it had before, then greener, and so on. Within 15 minutes, I was out of the shower, dried off, and reclined on my bed.
Over the course of several years, I have decorated my room with various paintings and drawings I have created. Now, I enjoyed looking at them as my visuals became further pronounced – colours looked like light was glinting off them; I could determine several different hues when ordinarily there would be one (different shades of white on a wall, for example); parts of some pictures seemed to grow larger and phase into others (an effect that, again, seemed like the 2c-i); patterns shifted and spread across my walls and ceiling. One thing I did notice at this phase was the prominence of 'colour stains' – anyone who has looked at the sun can attest that a spot will stay in their vision; similarly, looking at an intense hue would stain my field of view. However, I found it somewhat cumbersome that any particularly rich colour would affect my sight for several seconds.
At this point (about 2:15 pm), I noticed that I felt quite weak. I am hypoglycemic, so staying fed regularly is important (especially during a trip). It took a fair bit of self control to stay on the task of making myself food, in spite of my hunger – I was excited to partake in the activities I had set up for myself. I realized, while waiting for my food to microwave, that I was experiencing extreme time dilation.
After eating my lunch (my appetite was slightly decreased, I noted), I went to sit in my backyard. It was around now that I believe I entered my peak. Up until now, I had been thinking as I carried on my activities; however, thinking now became an activity in itself. My visuals had now become more intense and pleasant. So, I sat in a lawn chair, considering very intently some personal problems I had been having with friends. I was amazed at the insight I was able to have on an issue I felt 'stuck' on. After a few minutes of this, I decided to go indoors to do some meditation.
It is after this point that my concept of time becomes muddy. I know there were several activities I partook in, but it is difficult for me to distinguish in retrospect for how long and in what order they occurred. This can greatly be attributed to the time dilation I mentioned earlier; I would repeatedly feel shocked upon looking at the clock and discovering how little time elapsed. That being said, I will try my best to describe the events following this.
I had practiced meditation for a while before my trip; when I do so, I typically focus my attention upon the sensation of my breathing and from there try to empty my mind entirely of thoughts. I used this technique for the 2 instances I attempted meditation during my trip. Each attempt lasted around 5 minutes or less (a retrospective estimate with my warped time perception taken into consideration), but in spite of the short duration, the results were fantastic. Sitting in a comfortable chair and doing my best to ignore my vivid closed eye visuals (I saw the intricate petals of a flower, opening and swaying) each time, I came to new understandings about the nature of my being.
The first incident: I experienced for the first time what I would consider a 'touch' hallucination. The best way I can describe it is by likening it to the shifting movement of OEVs that are common with many psychedelics – the viewer knows that it is not real, but their brain tells them that something static is slowly shifting and pulsing. Now, I will ask you to try to imagine the same concept, but for touch. My hands were resting gently on my thighs and, after a few moments, I felt my flesh undulating beneath my palms. I knew my body to be completely still, but it felt as if my skin was moving in slow, thick waves beneath my hands.
I knew my body to be completely still, but it felt as if my skin was moving in slow, thick waves beneath my hands.
This strange sensation triggered the revelation that my body wasn't mine – my entire being was an intangible consciousness that resided in my head and it was merely the puppet-master of this form that had been lent to me by some cosmic chance.
I opened my eyes and the room bloomed out before me; objects had now gained a rainbow-like aura around themselves. I took a few moments to consider what I had learned. Throughout the whole trip, I had felt very contented and whole. The euphoria I felt was deep and emanated from something greater than just immediate pleasure; I felt the love of the universe. The love I felt was so strong that I even experienced legitimate companionship in my various houseplants. But now, I realized that I was an entity made of love and kindness. My mother had bore me in spite of the pain of childbirth, I was clothed and nurtured as a helpless infant, and countless plants and animals died so my body could develop.
Furthermore, even the basic atoms of my body were assembled from cosmic stardust that had mystically come together through fantastic chance. Upon this realization, I attempted meditation for a second time. The distinction between my body and my consciousness intensified through this experience. I saw my little being as an object afloat in a sea of matter, each atom indistinguishable from those next to it. There were no true borders between my body and its neighboring molecules. The only thing that kept me anchored to existence was the amalgamation of white noise I heard, which visually represented itself to my closed eyes as a small beacon.
After this phase, my trip took on a new theme: love and kindness. It was this that hued my periods of thinking that occurred every 10 minutes or so and helped me come to a conclusion for my various problems with friends. I realized that relationships should not be viewed through the lens of self-gratification, but rather, they should be seen as a means of making another person happy. We befriend a person and we place upon them our expectations of them, and if they are not achieved, we become angry and ask them to change. I now newly saw my problems unified into one: I couldn't change the people, but I could change the way I controlled myself. I could accept that my unfulfilled expectations made me angry and learn to let go of those expectations.
For the rest of the peak (about 2 hours), I felt perfect and whole. My cheeks were pink with heat; my eyes frequently welled with tears of happiness and gratefulness (especially when listening to emotional music, which I did while I tried writing some poetry). I also noticed that I was sweating quite profusely out of excitement. I reread James Joyce's Araby
after I had finished doing some writing of my own. It was very enjoyable. I particularly enjoyed the figurative language he used and had an intense period of reflection on the theme of the story after reading (more fruitful that I would have normally had). Unfortunately, reading could be somewhat difficult as the letters in my peripherals would seem to move or shift into a pattern on the page, which was quite distracting.
As my peak began to wind down, I went for a short walk around my neighborhood. Throughout the whole trip, I had a very interesting body high, and walking now felt very unusual and pleasurable. After arriving home (probably around 4 pm), I simply listened to music and enjoyed some of my visuals. While the effects of the morning glories ended within a couple hours of that time, I felt the 2c-I continue until about 7 or 8 in the evening (mostly manifesting itself in pronounced patterns). This proved slightly irritating, as I was attempting to do some reading.
I cannot express how positively my life and relationships have been affected by this experience. Here are some notes I would like to conclude with:
- This was my first experience spending an entire trip alone.
- I am inclined to favor morning glories as a psychedelic as they are not very visually intense (and thereby I could concentrate more on my thoughts), but this is just my opinion and is not based upon scientifically compared experiences.
- To those who wish to chew their seeds, I might suggest chewing 50 or so at a time. My mouth was completely filled with the paste of those 100 seeds and, in retrospect, I might have considered taking my dose in 2 mouthfuls to reduce its unpleasantness.
Thank you so much for reading, and may you too feel the love!
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