Huasca Brew (B. caapi & M. tenuiflora)
Citation: Barton. "Shamanic Ecstasy - Channeling the Universe: An Experience with Huasca Brew (B. caapi & M. tenuiflora) (exp87405)". Erowid.org. Dec 8, 2010. erowid.org/exp/87405
This was my second experience with Ayahuasca, about 5 weeks after the first experience which is probably also on Erowid under the same name.
It was on a Monday night. I decided to adhere to the diet preparations a bit more this time. Ever since my first experience I have changed my diet significantly. As a result my acne is clearing up and I’m generally feeling better. A good thing to note is that since this diet change, cannabis has been effecting me stronger. “Mind, Body, Spirit” Makes sense to me now, when one is stronger, the others are automatically stronger.
I had eaten 25mg of AMT on the Thursday before, and smoked weed Friday, Saturday and Sunday in small amounts, I refrained from red meat and dairy, I had a small meal in the morning and a slice of bread about 4 hours before the trip which started at about 21:30. On the Sunday I had smoked a pipe and wrote a lot about consumer culture and how modern man is a complete shadow of what he could be. Spirituality needs to be rediscovered, it is as if people think religion is the same thing. It is not, spirituality is simply the process of “being” in a sublime way, appreciating the gift of life by whatever means. I also thought about how the idea that we are all one, if this was perceivable we could feel every part of each other, and I tried to comprehend this, feeling the whole of the universe and how it would be navigated. These thoughts influenced my trip.
As usual with psychedelics from the internet, they arrived exactly when I wanted them to. I needed a break from the world and a reminder of what I really was and to get away from this disenchanted society. The preparation was better this time, 20g of mimosa hostilis and 50g of b.caapi, some lemon juice and a litre of water in a pot was boiled for about an hour until it was 400-500ml then it was strained through a T-shirt. I did this 3 times and then boiled the combined extractions down to 500ml. As with the last time I had drank, the process of cooking had me somewhat intoxicated, humbled in a way. I was calm and serene.
I forgot to mention, I had the dentist at 5pm that day, I got a filling and my mouth was numbed. I waited for this to subside before drinking. It didn’t affect my trip anyway.
I lit 8 candles in my room and the light was turned off. I made my bed (mattress on the floor) comfortable and got my bucket readily placed with a glass of water next to me. Cigarettes were also at the ready. I felt somewhat apprehensive, I knew how deadly serious Ayahuasca is, it could smite me to hell if I let it. I did some strange movements, yoga-like and kind of like martial arts, even though I’ve done neither. I put on some Spiritual album I had downloaded earlier. It had stuff like shamanic drumming, Native American tunes and kind of modern, semi-synthetic ambient music.
So I started drinking at 21:30. I took 200ml from the brew in a cup. The brew was similar to my last one, quite thick and sour. The taste reminded me of how serious this was, the impression it had made on me the first time was immense. I took small sips, after each one I made these hand movements, I still felt serene, and there was a sense of great anticipation. Over the course of half an hour I drank 150ml of the brew. This would take longer to build up because the MAOI would have to become active, the DMT would move into my receptors slowly this time. I felt it from the first sip though, the taste, like salvia, goes through my body and becomes the high, or I associate the taste with the high. During the drinking I would stop because I thought I was going to be sick. I had to force myself to drink more, I developed a gag reflex. But the sickness did not come. I swirled water round my mouth and spat it out occasionally.
After I thought I had drunk as much as I needed, I stood up to calm myself and get in the flow, I made some m ore of these yogic (correct word?) movements. I felt the MAOI coming on, the candle lighting was calming. I had a cigarette out of my window; the candles cast a shadow on the wall which moved with the music. I could not work out if this was some sort of synchronicity, a hallucination, coincidence, or it simply wasn’t actually happening. My body felt light, every movement was effortless, like it wasn’t me. The body high is indescribable, it develops slowly, making everything very sensitive, I must move slowly, an abrupt movement could trigger bad vibes. I did my usual visual test, I looked at the block of flats across from my house, the 2 sides of the building become one and you can see the building and all its details as it is without seeing it as a building it is simply a thing. All layers of depth became one. This was not the slightest bit overbearing. I can sometimes access these visuals in sobriety. I was glad for the slow transition into the altered state, last time was far too abrupt, straight to the peak in 20 minutes after only 2 sips, this can make one think he is losing his mind.
I realised I had to keep reminding myself I still had a body, this was kind of automatic after the last trip, I knew how I needed to behave. I stretched and felt my body, sitting in different positions on the floor and moving very gently. The room had an aura and I felt neutral, not good or bad, just aware of the possibilities of the bad. I looked at my carpet for another visual test. Patterns flowed beautifully and I realised how quickly this was building up, I wondered how far it would go. I found it unusual that “I” was still there. I sat back on my bed and closed my eyes, slightly beyond hypnagogic visuals were present. My legs had mild spasms when sat in certain positions.
I thought of how apparently most Aquarius like their ankles tied together or at least held down, this has always been very true for me. I find that I completely fit my zodiac sign, every detail seems to be me. I thought that perhaps we all fit our signs but that we only find that we fit it when we truly discover ourselves. Or some people may simply not realise it because they’ve never introspected to such a degree. I thought of how we come to be born, our mothers emotions toward us, carrying us in her womb for so long and being completely one with us. I thought of the fractal flow of DNA through time and how we come to be part of that flow. We sometimes forget we exist, not thinking of what we truly are. How we come into the world without knowing it, we enter our form, this restricted body with these senses. We never stop and think “What is this?” Why something rather than nothing and why so specific. These questions leave us in awe of the great mystery.
The visuals were getting more intense and the archetypes were approaching the door. Impossible to describe auras overlay everything in the room, the candles light gleamed eternity. I don’t remember whether my toilet trip came before or after the purge, but I’ll say it was before. It was getting there, it was really getting there, I needed a shit, the acidic brew had turned my insides to sludge and I knew this would be quick.
Fate was kind and I met none of my family on the way to the toilet, I had some trouble with the light switches though. I turned the bathroom light on and walked in, quickly realising that it was an awful idea, I turned the light back off and used the toilet in the dark. It was a swift transaction; my whole body was so tender, my arse felt very healthy. Shiny white tiles and gleaming toilets with a perfect crystal mirror would have been horrendous with the light on, I would have turned insane. I tend to dislike man-made things like bathrooms when I’m tripping, far too anxiety creating.
Back upstairs, the archetypes were there and I was presented with gifts. With eyes closed, I was presented with crowns, jewels and other treasures, they were gorgeous but I did not know what they were for. I felt they were presented to me at the time, this does not reflect my views on the matter now, its simply recalling the experience as it was.
Around this time I purged, as things got more and more intense and I was about to enter the elf factory. It’s as if my being at that time could not handle the transition. This is the 30 second transition from having a normal ego in a normal dimensional experience to being an egoless pure spirit living in countless dimensions. For me it is like a DMT flash is described. This part of the trip was without a doubt the most ecstatic experience of my life and recalling it now in text will be difficult because it is hard to decipher the order of things and to describe what actually happened in a way that will be meaningful to anyone who has not had a similar experience. Ayahuasca is not a drug; it is a key that unlocks the conscious doorway into the Ancestor Spirit, or the stretch of DNA since the beginning of life on this planet, or whatever you call “it”.
The purge was necessary to move to the next level, it all came out at once, in 3 seconds, 1 constant flow of my stomach contents. The audio hallucinations started with this, every sound in my body was heard and felt with great intensity, the visuals peaked. I felt a sense of being home again, a great eternal déjà vu. I had been here before in my last trip, but I was scared before and I was not kind to myself, so I was punished. Now I was filled with wonder and awe, I felt a great presence. This is what I think is the grand institution behind reality/life/universe. It always shows itself to me like some company or brand. This is, I think, because of my deep interest in the social sciences, consumerism and the way people interact with institutions disturbs and fascinates me. The psychedelic realm is the one institution I love, I find that people invest so much in the false god – economy with their consumer rituals and sacrifices of over-production. I think my psyche is telling me to follow this path by reinforcing itself as the grand institution. I felt like
I was in a sea of DNA, the visionary state is not describable. I thought of the health side of the grand institution, thoughts of biology filled my mind, I remembered myself again. The seemingly mundane realisation of myself as a biological being meant everything to me. The whole spectrum of being was a mystery again; I knew nothing of what I was before that moment. My ego was gone and something from deep within the unconscious took control over me, it was myself experiencing it, but not the self I am familiar with.
With eyes closed I seen the new arising archetype of the consumer perfectly symbolised. The people I seen were futuristic looking, more dingles and dangles than even now, if you can imagine, the next make up or range of accessories, all these things flashed before my eyes and I had no fucking idea what they were. But I seen it was possible that consumers are evolving, consuming more and more. The images of these people were not accompanied by a bad or good feeling, there was no feeling, merely fact, much in the same way as the grand institution, it just is, it is how it chooses to present itself to me.
And now the dimensional cut-off points started to happen. I was super propelled through multiple dimensions. I now lose all connection with the past realities (non-realities). I see myself only as being, what being is did not apply; all that mattered was the unintentional action of being. As my body became used to this state of hypersensitivity, I could feel the blood run through me, my whole body and mind acting in complete unison. Because of this unison, my soul/consciousness/pure form of existence was allowed to take over. This was no mere illusion of perception, this was what was actually happening (at the time anyway) what it is not for me to say.
In this state of what must be shamanic ecstasy I stood up and found that my body would move freely and completely to the universal rhythm. I’m not sure what music was playing, I think part or most of the music was created by the audio “hallucinations”. I danced in this state, I became translucent, not of body, I was a weightless consciousness perceiving the full universe at once and engaging with it at the same time almost as if to create some sort of balance. This was the best moment of my life, nothing can explain it properly. After this balance was completed I realised that what was happening is that a paradigm shift had occurred, perhaps this was 2012, perhaps I had, through shamanic transcendence, triggered the conscious evolution onto the high plane. I somehow found a cigarette and started to smoke it out my window, I could not tell what the buildings were, I wondered what this all was, I could not tell whether I was my house itself which was below me and attached to my feet, or if I was everything I seen. It did not matter, I was the universe. The smile on my face was unbelievable. I noticed that occasionally, versions of myself would split off from the perceived me, it felt as if parallel universes were being created with every thought.
It was perceiving other dimensions... I had thought that talk about all of this was bullshit imaginings but now I understood. The paradigm shift had come and I continued to dance and smoke my cigarette, kissing the ground, creating universes and celebrating the complete joy of knowing “it”. If anyone was to come through the door I would have hugged them and I would have been completely convinced that they knew what had happened, that novelty had reached ZOOM point. I went onto facebook after scrambling to get a song on – Chicane – Saltwater. I wanted to see the wonderful messages about how wonderful this new world was. I had seen nothing but the trivial normative stuff. And I realised, to no great worry that it had not happened. I am still integrating the experience. The visuals at this point were like nothing I had ever seen before, my ability to move and dance with such eloquence was surprising.
I had seen that it was only 23:45. 2 HOURS AND 15 MINUTES! Unbelievable. I had lived eternities in this space of time.
I went for a glowing, wonderful shower; I had confronted the bathroom at the peak of my visuals, how the fuck that happened I do not know, my ecstatic shape made me invincible, the water, the aromas, the heat! I poured some water and went back upstairs to my room where I thought frantically about what was occurring.
The next hour was basically winding down and trying to integrate the experience, though I was glowing through to the next morning when I managed to successfully attend university.
I am growing to be an emotional, healthy, and happy person; I contribute so much of this to the psychedelics. But “psychedelic” is just a word, it’s ALL just words.
I can’t know whether all these predictions of this major paradigm shift are true or are all fabricated by transgression. What I experienced was far beyond the normative world, but at the same time it is the foundations of it all. Whether Terence McKenna has installed a virus in us neo-shamans through his internet videos that has given us the illusion that these experiences are signs of a coming paradigm shift in 2012 is beyond me. It is a lovely thought to have, that it is all true, I so easily attached myself to the idea during the trip. I will try to remain sceptical. I fear that Daniel Pinchbeck and a whole sweep of modern day trippers have lost clarity; either that or I’m in denial.
As you can see, I am still integrating... Thanks for reading if you got this far.
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