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I Trust Your Choice
Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora) & Cannabis
Citation:   Barton. "I Trust Your Choice: An Experience with Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora) & Cannabis (exp87402)". Jan 4, 2013.

T+ 0:00
3 g oral Syrian Rue (seeds)
  T+ 0:45 5 g oral Mimosa tenuiflora (extract)
I am fairly experienced with psychedelics and even though I’ve only really experimented with them for a year or so I’ve had some amazing thoughts and revelations which I think have really helped me in day to day life. The thing about these experiences with these plants is that it is near impossible to explain them to anyone who still has a typical view on drugs and psychology. Drugs make you lose touch with reality, its escapism and if you hallucinate you are insane (whatever that means). But then again the average person’s views are usually very undeveloped and indifferent, so they don’t really count for much. I’m glad these plants have found me and I hope I can honour their choice.

So, it wasn’t the best of times for Ayahuasca. My parents had left me with the house for a week. I couldn’t quite believe it myself. Naturally, I had a party every day (Around 15-20 people a night). It started on Saturday and went on through to Friday when the Ayahuasca came in the mail. I had planned this empty house to be a mixture of drinking sessions, psychedelic sessions and chill smokes. But of course, this never worked out, drinking everyday is what happened, occasional ecstasy tablet early on in the week and a few days before I had been eating Datura and 6-APB on different days.

As the week went on I became more tired and stressed by people being in my house. I love being a host, most of the time. And I’m far too nice and aware of the youth situation to not allow a party whenever I can. I started to realise the emptiness in this lifestyle of alcohol and small talk. I try to encourage psychedelics and in-depth conversation with my friends, but it’s hard to convince folk.

Sorry for the lengthy intro, but this incredibly strange set and setting must be taken into account along with not adhering to the diet whatsoever, except perhaps for the sexual abstinence.

By Friday I felt my health was deteriorating and I was quite stressed and depressed. I tried to arrange a quiet weed smoking and Ayahuasca sit-in. This turned into another party. I stayed sober and tried to enjoy myself in vain. I decided to fast and only drink water, though I ended drinking a lot of energy juice. Caffeine, I think, influenced my trip as it does with weed, for the worse. I ended up smoking a fair bit of weed. I kicked most people out early. My friend who I was meant to be trying Ayahuasca with had started drinking so he said he was leaving it. I however, needed release, I needed to learn, to be healed, I needed to go home and remember what I am. So I cooked the Ayahuasca. 3 grams of Syrian rue seeds were ground and eaten. 50 grams of Mimosa hostilis was boiled for about 3 hours, 2 boils were done and then boiled down to about a litre. All this time I was smoking joints and buckets which were constantly being given to me as people inquired into what I was doing. There were a few random people in my house. I must have looked like a crazed mad man with my messed up house, obsessive cooking and strained, stoned eyes.

Let’s call 2am '0:00'.

0:00 – Ate 3g Syrian rue with a spoon downed with some water. Very high on cannabis right now, glad the madness in my house is diminishing. Only 2 people knocked out on my bed and 3 friends downstairs watching Jeremy Kyle and all sorts of other awful shit. I fasted for 27 hours up to this point.

0:45 – I feel very psychedelic, seeing strange things on my wall, perceptions altered. Must be the harmala and cannabis. I took the mug up to my parents room, must have been about 200ml of thick mimosa brew in there. I sent my mate a text to say turn the fucking TV down because the last thing I wanted to hear was Jeremy Kyle’s voice while tripping. I told myself I’d just have a taste, sip a bit and see how I felt. I never took into consideration how potent this brew could be. I took a sip, the sour sensation was awful. I drank some water and did some breathing. I had another sip. I must have drank about 20-25 ml.

Within about 2 minutes I got that psychedelic come-up feeling. The nausea which isn’t typical nausea. I lay down and the bed begin to morph into patterns, I think I seen some sort of animal in the creases. I knew I was going to vomit, so I got to the carpet which was turning into violent coloured fractals and pulled the readily prepared bin close to me and purged. It was a deep purge, as I had nothing inside of me, it was little orange dots. I drank some water which got about half way down my throat before coming back up. This was good. I opened my eyes after it was over and peered into the bin. The floating sick particles with the rounded, layered shape of the bin turned into a vibrant mandala. Ohhh shit I thought, 2 fucking sips!

So time gets tricky to tell around this point. I went back onto the bed; there was an essence in the air, strange fractals and a body high that was unique. I journeyed to the bathroom as I needed to piss. Usually when this happens, It’s just a kind of unconscious way to tell myself I need to vomit more. On the few steps to the bathroom, everything came alive and coloured differently; slightly sharp. I remember thinking “It’s like an outward projected image of a Pokémon centre for the soul”.

So I continued to purge into my bathroom sink and the toilet. It varied. Then the oddest thing happened: my whole vision was contracted horizontally and towards the centre it became crystalline, as if everything in my vision became more sharp, like things had more edges than I had previously thought. It glimmered and I got the classic feeling like I was a mere portrait on a wall. My body functions and the functions of the world around me became very strange. The bathroom was a dimension. As I held onto a towel on the towel rack, I noticed a strange tension. The metal and other hard materials in this unnatural light was far too much for me. I tried to unlock the crude door for a while, panicking. I finally got out after a minute or so, leaving the bathroom in an utter state and moving back to my parents’ room, turning the light off and preparing to lie down and wait for the trip to be over. Turning the light off caused the whole space around me to be filled with beautiful though horribly intense patterns. I felt like I couldn’t escape and I kept pacing around the room as if to shake it off, denying that this was happening to me. Eventually I realised that it was pointless to fight it, I had given this advice many times before.

I turned the light back on (too intense in the darkness). I got under the covers and the pressure came, I was being compressed, slowly losing my body. I could not define what my body actually was, clothes were a pain and I gradually took them all off except my underwear which I could not manoeuvre properly. Then the visions and the audio started to come. They said “Welcome Welcome Welcome”. I witnessed different sections of the capitalist system, including McDonalds. I was starting work in McDonalds the next day (remember it was after midnight). The McDonalds visions were accompanied by various beeping sounds, a person was moving like a robot, making burgers or something, It didn’t matter. The visions were yellow red and black, McDonald’s colours. I later integrated this quite well, work in McDonalds is terribly robotic, I hate it, it is accompanied by overbearing beeping sounds from the machines and in general it’s quite a ruckus. The place even looks like how it did in my vision. It’s as if Ayahuasca was saying “THIS IS YOUR “JOB”? YOU SHOULD BE WORKING FOR ME!!” I really despise the capitalist environment. It numbs my mind and I start to hate the world, imagining blowing up shopping centres etc. With psychedelics, it is profoundly the opposite. I don’t really know what to make of this apparent future predicting vision, there is more of these to come.

It’s hard to tell in which order things came, but at one point a green lady was hugging me in a loving way. I seen this in my headspace and felt her as well. She made a kind of loving sigh and I was filled with love, then suddenly was intensely aroused, arousal I had never felt before ran through me and I made strange breathing sounds and embraced beautiful feminity for about a second. I thought of a girl downstairs who has been very caring towards me the last few days and I imagined her being even more caring. Then I was moved through to the next dimension. The whole experience was rather like shifting in some multi-dimensional space into different worlds where different things were shown to me. I don’t remember a lot of them because at some points my muscle tension was very bad and it was all I could focus on.

Sometimes I got stuck in a loop. I would have a vision and think “Where was I again?” Then the channel would instantly change and I would forget all about what was happening last. I flashed into my room at some point, then I was downstairs in the living room. These flashes were very brief and were always accompanied by a sound/feeling when I changed channels.

By the time I had lost my body completely, I started to feel as though I was dying. I was scared. I got the feeling that the Elven Reality Technicians had stopped my life and pulled me through the inter-dimensional matrix for emergency fixing. I was looking up from operating tables, looking across tables at psychologists or consultants. I was in wheel chairs. I could not really speak. This was not the ordinary world any more, this was the place behind the crack in the worlds where they create all of this. Pokémon centre for the soul. I was not “talked to” but the accompanying sounds were the same as voices as I understood them. I heard my friends downstairs. They were worried. They started talking about insanity amongst other things, and was I locked in another world? I’ve really done it this time. It was as if it was a dimensional intervention. All of my friends and family were there in spirit form saying things like “Look what you’ve done” but they didn’t say that. I felt strange emotions I had never felt before, like I had been hiding away. They treated me like I was sick and dying and trying to diagnose me. I was sure I was going to die, I lived 20 years in 5 minutes. The only way I can describe the emotion I felt was as if “oh, I didn’t know, what is to be done? I am facing death and have went off my path.” After a lot of these talks from spirits about what I’m doing wrong (they never told me specifics, but I slowly learned them in the coming week) they started telling me “You have another chance, revival, revival, thrive, strive,” “Don’t make the same mistakes,” “get up get up!” But it sounded more like meeeeeededepepepelooooo. I was filled with encouragement and after some time of apparent “nothingness” I arose from the covers to find I was completely sober.

Though I was not completely sober. I still had visuals as from a strong acid trip but after all of that it felt like sobriety. It was the ultimate afterglow. I ran downstairs, awe-struck, after putting on my bathrobe. And everything was normal! I asked if they had been worried and how long I’d been away. They told me I had been away about an hour and they were not worried, they asked what I was doing. I was filled with great relief! I asked if they needed anything, I lit a fire. Then I realised that I had seen all this in the trip, but in super fast, indecipherable moving pictures. I paced around the house explaining to people how wonderful it was, that I had died and was back. They were all just stoned and were like “whatever”. The girl made me some food and insisted I eat as she was worried about me, I felt a great appreciation for females. I contributed the immense pressures earlier on as being punishment for my diet and days of drink and drugs. I went outside and seen my cat, he paused in his steps as a great grin grew across my face, I felt the cat-magic, I started to move like him and he was impressed. I always bond with my cat on psychedelics. The morning was filled with pleasant reflections and being constantly amazed at the wonders of life. We shared a joint in the garden, my friend had adopted a funny mood in my presence, and he said he felt child-like innocence.

Since this trip, I have thought about it a great deal and revelations have come slowly, I’m looking after my body more, I’m not drinking so much, I’m on a healthier diet. I’ve noticed that substances affect me very easily now, I am sensitive to weed a lot more, it fills me with deep thought and intense visuals. I can no longer simply sit back and have a laugh with it, it is a great sacrament.

I’ve tried Ayahuasca once more since this time, with B. caapi. I will write a report soon.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 87402
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Jan 4, 2013Views: 19,490
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Huasca Combo (269), Mimosa tenuiflora (74), Syrian Rue (45) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Preparation / Recipes (30), First Times (2)

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