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Thankful I'm Alive
Cannabis
Citation:   I'm Alive. "Thankful I'm Alive: An Experience with Cannabis (exp85566)". Erowid.org. Oct 18, 2017. erowid.org/exp/85566

 
DOSE:
3 hits smoked Cannabis - High THC
BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb
[Erowid Note: Some authors report suspicions that their cannabis has been 'laced' (adulterated), in some cases, presumably with PCP. While this is possible, readers should be aware that idiosyncratic response to the effects of cannabis (usually higher doses) can lead some users to presume their cannabis has been 'laced'. There is no way to know if the cannabis in the report below was adulterated or not. Reports of plant material and cannabis laced with powerful synthetic cannabinoids and other psychoactive substances became more common starting in 2007.]
I was on my way home from work and met up with a former neighbor. We used to live in the same building and I had one time smoked pot with him in the past. It turns out that we now also live in the same neighborhood and he offered to smoke with me in the park before I went home.

We went to his new home first, where he had what I consider to be a large amount of buds. I even held and inspected one in my hand... but not being a regular pot smoker myself, I don't truly know what 'safe', healthy, non-laced pot is supposed to look like. It did have a kind of translucent, almost shimmery quality to it... but I thought that was normal - it was similar to the shimmer that 'Lamb's Ear' or other 'furry' leafed plants have.

We went to the store to buy the rolling paper, and I watched him roll it... so the pot itself had to have been laced beforehand. I had to get away from this guy and feel safe and alone quickly, because I knew (in minutes) that this was NOT just pot! First of all, despite the fact that I am not a regular pot smoker, I have smoked it on many occasions in my life and I have had varying experiences, some were enjoyable and some were not so enjoyable. I know what pot does to me and this FAR EXCEEDED ANY DRUG EXPERIENCE that I have ever in my life had before! I kept thinking 'Why would ANYONE do this to another person???'

I don't even know how to explain what I experienced into words - and this happened yesterday! I had extreme hyper-sensitivity to sound... I 'felt' as though I could SEE sound as EXTREMELY SPEEDY rotating (like the spinning of car tires) LIGHT. I had one window in my room cracked and I live close enough to the road that I can hear vehicles passing by. As a vehicle would approach and pass, the intensity and the speed of the 'spinning' buzzing/humming sound would increase to insane speeds. I felt as if my heart was racing at the same rate and I was VERY concerned that I might actually die from this experience. I had to continuously meditate to TRY to calm my heart down... but nothing I did could slow it enough. I was able to call a friend who works as a mental health counselor. I felt embarrassed to have to admit what had happened to me and I did NOT want to go to the hospital for a 'drug overdose'. The drug that the pot was laced with made me feel incredibly hyper-critical of myself on so many levels! If I had been left alone - I feel like I may have even reached a point that I might have done something drastic to 'make it stop'. This was one of the most frightening experiences that I have ever had in my life.

The drug had a powerful tranquilizing effect on many aspects of my 'self' (physically, mentally and emotionally). It was shocking to me that my mind was racing so fast and yet my body was becoming paralyzed. I felt that my heart was racing at a speed that would not be humanly possible - as a matter of fact - my heart would have probably exploded before it could ever have reached the speed it felt like. I wanted so badly to communicate with my friend, but all I could do was keep trying to explain that I was slipping away and trying desperately to hold on. I wanted to be able to pass out, but I was scared that I was not going to come back. I remember wishing that I could get things in order around my house just in case I actually did die. I wanted to write something out as a last testament to who I was as a living person on this Earth, so that I could be remembered as that. I did NOT want to DIE due to a fucking drug overdose!!!

My friend came to pick me up, and she brought me to her apartment. She was able to get me to drink water frequently and tried to get me to eat, but I just couldn't though I tried several times. She drew a bath for me and checked on me every so often, then she had to convince me to get out of the bath tub because apparently I stayed in for quite a while. I was incredibly frustrated with myself because I had such a difficult time forcing my body to do such a basic task as dressing. I realized later that I hadn't even put her pajamas on correctly. I felt like an elderly person might when frustrated with the inability to complete tasks which were once so simple. My mouth and my lips were ceaselessly dry. I began feeling as though my skin was burning all over. I kept slipping away but trying desperately to stay focused and in touch with the physical reality of her apartment. I would try to say something that made sense in my mind, but it would come out of my mouth incoherently. I truly felt like I was going insane - and I just kept hoping that it would only be temporary. I wondered to myself if I would be locked inside of my own mind forever - unable to express myself to anyone, and that was a frightening thought.

I thank GOD that she was home and that she was able to come get me and take care of me - and that I was not left alone during this AND - that I was not with that man!!!

The paralysis and inability to communicate went on for at least 16 hours (per my friend). This was a HORRIBLE experience, and it scared me to death! And yet, I am already thankful for having experienced and survived it. Once I was able to start speaking again, I was just SO thankful to have another chance at life! I don't want to miss ANY opportunities again. I felt like I had been open to all possibilities before... but now - again - I am appreciative of all of them. It is horrible that ANYONE should EVER have to experience this, but I know that this has already made me a wiser person and that it will be an essential aspect in my understanding of life and my relationships in it.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 85566
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 33
Published: Oct 18, 2017Views: 963
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Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Overdose (29), Difficult Experiences (5)

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