Learned to Love Myself at the 'Shozoac' Sea
Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora)
Citation:   Ben G.. "Learned to Love Myself at the 'Shozoac' Sea: An Experience with Huasca Brew (Syrian Rue & M. tenuiflora) (exp85326)". Erowid.org. Sep 19, 2022. erowid.org/exp/85326

10 g oral Mimosa tenuiflora (tea)
  10 g oral Syrian Rue (tea)
I was really skeptical about this ayahuasca brew. It was my first time making it, I have made and smoked a lot of DMT, but I never attempted making it into tea with an MAOI. I used syrian rue seeds and mimosa hostilis root bark. I estimated about 10 grams of each, I ended up putting some extra mimosa hostilis in just because I didnít think it would work like I wanted it to. I put the two in a pan with distilled water and simmered the mix for a few hours until I had a drinkable shot, which I then filtered out. It is 5 in the morning now. I took the shot, real bitter, but otherwise not horrible.

I went to my room and listened to some medeski, martin and wood and I really didnít feel anything. So at about 6 in the morning, maybe a little later I went to bed because I was so tired. Next thing I know I wake up and Iím rubbing my hands all over my body, I can hear birds chirping, but I donít open my eyes. Iím semi-consciously rubbing myself and finally I come to realize that rubbing myself should not feel this good and the birds chirping should not sound so beautiful, it was unnatural how good the morning felt. I open my eyes and look at my clock and it says 7:30. Then I look up at the ceiling and notice some patterning, real clear feeling.

At this point, I knew the stuff was working. The next 20 minutes I felt like I was in heaven, total ecstasy. I just laid in bed and closed my eyes, sometimes, sometimes opened them and had the most amazing visions. After 20 minutes, I realized I needed to piss and that Iím not as high as I originally felt, figured it was just a morning thing. I figured I woke up with DMT running through me so I must have felt the rush of waking up and now its gone. I get up to go to the bathroom, come back, lay down and close my eyes.

As I tried to sleep the stuff really kicked in. Long story short, I spent the next 6 hours rolling around in total ecstasy, having the wildest visions, writing the coolest poetry Iíve ever written. It was motherís day and I made my mom a card that she absolutely loved. Everything was infinite, and everything was one. At the same time everything was constantly changing but yet it was all the same because it was all one. I felt like this giant jellyfish creature that extends infinitely and the visions were so colorful and amazing; kaleidoscope versions of Alex Grey's paintings -- that guy hit DMT experiences right on with his artwork. Everything made sense to me, my whole life, everything I ever did, every choice I ever made.

Itís now the day after and plenty of sleep since and I feel like a different person. I have this inner peace I never felt before. I have taken plenty of LSD and mushrooms, smoked a bunch of DMT, but never have I had such a spiritual experience in my life. I felt like I was underwater but at the same time on the shore of what I called the ďshoze-oacĒ sea, a word that somehow just came into my mind. I was completely out of body, in the sense I couldnít feel my body, I could just feel my visions slicing through me in waves, but yet I could hear myself ďsniffle,Ē but I couldnít feel it. All the sick sounds my body made showed me that my drug habits are hurting my body, my soul may be clear for I felt blessed to have this trip, but I was warned that I was damaging my body by this black figure of some woman that kissed me cheeks behind closed eyelids and whispered some sort of warning, which I think pertained to how I need to treat my body better.

I was thinking of people in my life and I felt like I understood everyone and I fell in love with them. I just wanted to tell everyone I loved them, of coarse I didnít because that would be ridiculous at the given time under the given circumstances. Iíve never felt such love for myself, and I think thatís the answer to life. Love yourself, take things as they come, be patient, and take care of what you need to take care of. Donít procrastinate; thereís always reasons not to do things, and you need to quit looking the other way on them and get them done.

It was the most beautiful and loving morning I have ever experienced. I could have slept through it, but whatever god or force (or vine) decided to wake me up to experience this pure form of bliss had blessed me. I felt like I was kissed by god and selected for this experience.

Something I didnít mention earlier about this trip because I wanted to make the story brief, but now Iím on a roll, is I cooked it with a friend from work. We went out drinking the night before (hence the spuradic dose, which was more like 20 grams of syrian rue and probably close to 40 of mimosa, I wanted it to work real bad). Anyways, when we were listening to music at first he started talking about how he was already feeling it, I didnít believe him. He was younger than me and makes up a lot of stuff. Anyways, after I went to sleep and woke up again, he was asleep. I woke him up to tell him heís missing out on the most introspective experience of his life and he wasnít feeling it! I couldnít believe it, I was feeling amazing and he couldnít feel it and slept right through it! Weird, huh? So that adds to my feeling that God chose me for this experience. During my trip I felt I could pass positive energy into his dreams so I did so and I think it worked, weíll never know, he canít remember. At this point I thought I had mind connections, telepathy, with everyone since everything is one
I thought I had mind connections, telepathy, with everyone since everything is one
, and I felt I could send messages or feelings through the infinite space; I still feel like this worked, by the way. I sent messages to this girl I work with who is so beautiful and I told her how much I love her beauty and aura.

That stuff is no joke and donít do it until your ready. Everything has a new ďloveĒ light to it and I feel at peace. I know what I did was spuradic at the moment at 3 in the morning making it, but I had been meaning to do this forever. And maybe, trips are better when theyíre not planned. I noticed that when I plan out a date and place to trip, and who to do it with, it adds anxiety because everything has to be perfect. I think I just need to do it when the time is right. As Dr. Hunter S. Thompson says, ďYou don't look for acid! Acid finds you when *it* thinks you're ready.Ē

And when it thinks youíre ready ayahuasca will find you and the great vine will speak to you and change your life. Donít be impatient, if you want to try ayahuasca, you will. Pleasant trips fellow people. Oh yeah, Iím never touching heroin again because of this :).

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 85326
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Sep 19, 2022Views: 532
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Huasca Brew (268), Mimosa tenuiflora (74), Syrian Rue (45) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults