My Journey to Ego-Death
DMT
by Believe
Citation:   Believe. "My Journey to Ego-Death: An Experience with DMT (exp84936)". Erowid.org. Apr 15, 2020. erowid.org/exp/84936

 
DOSE:
100 mg smoked DMT

BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb


This series of events occurs within a 10-15 minute period

I decide to shut my lights off and keep the tv on but muted for some minimal light.

I have a bowl of my last 10th of Dimitiri packed and away for a few days with some good weed to block the hole of my pipe. I finally find a good night to commence liftoff. Never have I ever had an experience like this one.

I take hit one, I melt the top of the bowl and then try as hard as I can to roast it after. Get a fat hit held in for 6 seconds.

I take hit two, the bowl is kind of clogged so I try to get as much lit as I can and burn my finger a bit. Okay hit held in for 3 second wanted to try again fast, my heart starts rushing.

I take hit three, after tapping it a few times with my lighter I loosen it up and take a fast toke. I start to get my ears ringing, visual distortion starts to occur, fading in and out while flowing. Tripping balls level.

I take hit four, its a challenge because I cant stop shaking. My field of vision is going crazy, changing colors, swaying. I roast as much of whats left as I can. There ends up being way more then I originally thought and I get the biggest hit I got.

I quickly stast the bowl in a safe spot and look to my right. My entire room quickly starts turning into a cartoon. The colors were starting to be more pronounced, my depth perception was crazy off, and everything was constantly changing colors and fading ridiculously far in and out closer and then farther away from me to the point where I have no idea when my room is in relation to myself.

I decide that I need to close my eyes. From what I heard Dimitiri really comes out when your eyes are closed. So I lay down in my bed and shut my eyes. I'm immediately greets by 2 walls parallel of each other on both sides of my vision. They seem to be made out of constantly changing but is predominantly purple colored hexagonal patterns. This continues as I pursue down this hallway of bright lights and shapes that was before me.

It seemed as I continued down this hallway I had to push spheres of green fractal shapes that when I used my mind I could push them out of the way and they would explode into hexagonal patterns exploding from that point.

I reminded myself of what I read in DMT: The Spirit Molecule that I needed to try to push through the patterns and colors to meet the presence. This is exactly what I tried to do.

I got to a point where I felt a presence guiding me along. It seemed overjoyed that I was with him and he was bringing me to where I needed to go. As this was happening I felt my entire body dissolve into almost nothing. As the presence raced with me down the hallway/tunnel I could feel less and less of my physical being. Instead of my body I felt intense vibrations that were apart of everything around me. This feeling was of pure ecstacy and absolute joy

I realized that what this presence was showing me was ego-death. He was grabbing me and running with me and the farther he got the closer and closer I got to not feeling anything but the universal vibrations of me and everything in the world. As I started to loss touch with the last part of my body, I felt the presence suddenly stop and look at me. It's hard to explain but it wasnt a physical being, it seemed to be made out of light. He smiled at me and started to fade away as I started gaining the feeling of my body back.

I could tell this was the end. When I felt like I was whole again I sat there watching my wall shift and sway while I thought over my whole experience. While I feel that I lost contact with my body almost completely, I still felt the tiniest amount so I feel reluctant to say I experienced ego death but I definitely feel like I know the idea of it now. I felt like I was part of this universal chain of energy which made my body vibrate and resonate energy off. While I might not have lost my whole body, I lost everything but the last hair clinging.

I feel enlightened. Never had a drug struck my beliefs and attitude towards the world like DMT. I have a complete sense of well-being and perfection. I feel like I understand how the world works and how we are all so closely related that everybody should love one another sense we are all part of a giant chain of being.

Maybe next time I'll lose myself completely, but until then, I am content with the knowledge that was handed to me.

Much love everybody :)

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 84936
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: Apr 15, 2020Views: 393
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OBE (332), DMT (18) : Unknown Context (20), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Entities / Beings (37), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)

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