Citation: GRiMM. "I Went to Hell and I Saw the Abyss: An Experience with MDPV (exp84783)". Erowid.org. Jun 10, 2010. erowid.org/exp/84783
I'm a 19 year old male, 135lb. I decided to give MDPV a try as a study aid in the place of adderall. I have a lot of experience with adderall, although I do not have a prescription for it. My friend's girlfriend has ADD so she usually sells it to me pretty cheap ($1.50/30mg IR). Adderall was like a wonder drug for studying and school, as well as enjoyable. Adderall gives me the energy to stay alert during the day and the feelsgoodman reward is perhaps the best motivation. I found myself taking adderall just to have a good time and just to get shit done. It's an extremely productive drug if you can practice moderation. I read up on MDPV and concluded it would be a decent alternative since it was compared to ritalin on some reports. I also read that it was extremely addictive but felt that if I could handle Adderall, this would be no problem. Fucking wrong...
A little history on my drug use, I have done booze, weed, hydrocodone, salvia, DPH, DXM, adderall, mdma, mushrooms, and finally MDPV.
It's a tuesday afternoon, I have been expecting my MDPV for about a week now. I decide to check the mail before I go to Wal-Mart. Among the multiple trash ads I found a small white envelope addressed for me from Taiwan. Sure enough, a small vacuum sealed bag which contained an even smaller baggie with a label that read: MDPV, 1000mg, NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION (in BOLD). The baggie contained a almost pure white powder, texture was dense and compressed (maybe like flour?).
I did my research and knew the standard dose is usually around 2-3mg insufflated... then I realize I don't have a milligram scale. I eyeballed a small little 'bump' (I later realize that these 'bumps' were too much), rolled up a dollar and hit it. [Erowid Note:
Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts.
See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]
Oh my god that tasted like crap, synthetic chemical taste... it was weird. I've snorted adderall before so I was expecting some kind of unpleasent taste but this shit was bad.
I then decide to head to Wal-Mart as I was planning. Did not really feel too different althoug I was high at the time. I get back home with some food, the time is like 5:30pm and I had Physics class at 7pm. I begin to feel extremely stimulated, full of energy. I end up cleanind most of the house before having to leave for class. Feeling satisfied I do another bump as I walk out the door.
I'm on my way to class when I realize how hard this shit actually is. My heart beat was at about 112bpm, a little above normal but I still felt good. I get to class and soon realize that I could not sit still. I was getting extremely uncomfortable and felt like just getting up and leaving class. I refrain from excusing myself and suffer til 10pm when class gets out. I got stomach cramps during class and felt jittery. I get home and see the baggie sitting on my desk. I felt like redosing in hopes of releiving the comedown but refrain. I later went over to my friends to smoke as we usually do when we hang out. Weed definitely helped the comedown and I slept fine that night.
I wake up around 10am and go to my Organic Chemistry class. I get home and find that my roommate and best friend is off today and tomorrow. I decided to do a small bump. I immediately feel stimulated and clearheaded, increase in heart rate as usual. About half an hour after my dose I get jittery and sweat profusely from my arm pits. I have experienced the sweating from adderall so did no think much of it. I introduce the drug to my roommate and convince him to try a small bump. We end up playing Team Fortress 2 for the next hour or two and chit chat on random shit. I begin to get the stomach cramps again... I soon realize this is the first sign of the horrid MDPV comedown.
I force myself to eat a sandwich (as I do on Adderall) in effort of aiding the cramps. Although I have just ate, my insides feel completely empty and irritable. I get an intense crave to redose and offer a bump to my roommate. We both do a bump as I'm about to leave for my evening class. I smoke a cigarette on the way to class which felt fucking excellent (as on Adderall). I get to class and once again get the cramps and sweating... comedown... I smoke another cigarette on the way home but it was not as pleasurable as the first.
I get home to find my roommate, his brother, his fried 'J' and two girls drinking and playing beer pong. I have drank with them before and we usually have a good time. I decide to mingle and not drink since I have to be at work at 7am the next morning. My roommate asks me if I would let J try the MDPV. I don't care. we all go into my room and do a bump. J has never tried it but swears cocaine is better; he says he didn't feel anything... At about midnight, J asks me for some more. We both go in my room and decide to redose. J does an unusually large 'line' and I do a bump. I could tell J was feeling it, his armpits were soaked and his eyes were dialated.
I decide to start drinking and end up getting fairly buzzed until we run out of beer. My roommate at this point is fairly drunk and tweaking. I've seen him drunk MANY MANY times but he is way fucked up. J, my roommate and I compulsively redose on MDPV again as if it had become a ritual by now. It's about 2 in the morning and we were all tweaked and feeling excellent. We chit chat with the girls and ramble for the next hour. Everyone decides to leave at about 3 in the morning.
It was at this point that I realized there was no way I would be able to fall asleep. My roommate and I both sit in my room and begin to have one of the best conversations we have had in a while. We discuss everything from why I am still a virgin to how we could change the world. It was probably the most enlightening moment I have had in a while. We once again redose and the cramps begin to settle in. At this point I lost track of how many times I had dosed but I felt so great that it did not matter. I did not even care that I had to be a work in a few hours. We redose again... why wouldn't we..? It's about 6 in the morning and I decide to take a shower and get ready for work. The overwhelming wellbeing began to fade as reality settled in the back of my mind that I was about to work eight hours on no sleep. As I'm about to walk out the door, I decide to do just one more bump to get me back to where I was. I drink this knockoff 6hour energy drink in hopes of aiding me through the day.
I get to work and realize that I can not stand still. I felt jittery and completely tired and drained. It was difficult to organize my thoughts and formulate a response when addressed by co-workers. It was at this point that I truly realize how fucked up I was. I became paranoid and anxious, everyone was looking at me and judging me. I am completly brain dead and began to feel lightheaded. My entire body was drained, I have absolutly no mental energy. I make it till break at noon and decide to buy some juice. I go to my car, drink the juice and smoke a cigarette. At this point I realize that there is no way I can make it till 3pm. They let me go home early.
I get home and find my roommate lying in his bed, eyes wide open. I decide to lie down in hopes of crashing but it is impossible to close my eyes, yet this is the most tired I have ever been... As I suspected, the stomach cramps began to come on full force, worse than any of the other times. My heart rate is unusually high (although it had been this way since yesterday) and my heart begins to beat really hard. It honestly felt like I was dying, and there was no way to make it better unless I redosed. I refrain from redosing as I realize that this is the only way to overcome the comedown... actually, it just postpones the comedown. I began to realize my chest tighten and it becomes hard to breathe. My heart is pounding harder than ever before, first sign of tachycardia. I eventually dose off for about an hour and wake up restless. I do not make it to my evening Physics class this time...
MDPV is perhaps one of the dirtiest highs I have ever felt and the comedown is one of the worst feelings in the world. The more I compusively redose, the worse the comedown is. Perhaps the doses I did were way to high but in the end, it does not matter. Even if I started on a small dose, I would have to fight the craving to redose. At this point I have not decided if I want to try the substance again. The high does not even justify the comedown. Looking back, we probably did close to 75-100mg each in exchange for our souls and the worst experience of our lives. I think I will stick to adderall instead...
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