Citation: WK. "Finding My Way Into Life's Dream: An Experience with Brugmansia (exp84772)". Erowid.org. Jan 28, 2016. erowid.org/exp/84772
When I was 15 I started getting interested in the effects of psychoactive drugs. I started messing around with a plant called Brugmansia which I thought I knew a lot about... No one will ever be able to expect or even imagine what is going to happen to them. Brugmansia in my opinion is the scariest drug. Not for the actual sights or hearing but because you can never estimate the potency of it. Do we fear death or only the expectancy of it.
My trip started out getting out of school on a Friday and I went to the beach with my friend who I will call Bob in this story. Bob and I had eaten the Brugmansia before so it was no big deal, we just decided to eat 1 and a half each but we picked them from different plants. I have had 4 flowers before and my eyes were all dilated but mostly my mouth was just dry and I wanted to sleep in different positions.
Bob and I went to a shady alley coming down from the beach and poured Lucas, a type of salty sugar mexican candy, on the flowers and drank iced tea to take away the dryness. We left that spot and started walking down the beach. Each step my mouth got a little dryer and my mind wondered more. We walked by a lot of surfer kids who were just glaring at us so I got a little paranoid. We eventually got to the end of the beach and sat behind the rocks because we were sketched out about all the people watching us.
This is were the trip starts. I sat down indian style watching the ocean waves and the sun going down. I felt a calming rush throughout my body. I closed my eyes and I felt a feeling I will never be able to describe to anybody. After sitting down for 15 to 30 minutes Bob and I got up and walk on the street to the main road. Bob and I talked about the effects and it seemed like mine were a lot more intense, I realized days later that the reason I was tripping more was that we took from two different brugmansia trees, at least that's what I'm guessing.
We walked a couple blocks when I realized I had a pill bottle of adderall with only one pill so I decided to not waste it and just eat it and nothing happened to my knowledge. We walked to a high school baseball field that was empty and I laid on the middle of the field watching the sky. The sky appeared to have small white strands (like strands of cloth that come out of your clothing) and they were all moving together in the sky to form into a ball of light somewhat like the sun but as a soft white - blue. I remember the day having no moon or sun out and a clear blue sky but I was told it was a very cloudy day. TRIPPING.
The next thing that I remember is laying down in the stands for a high school football game. I'm told that people were staring at me and asking my friend what was wrong with me. Bob and I hadn't spoken too much for the feelings were too intense. I felt like I was living in a dream where I could remember what I had just done 3 seconds ago clearly in my head and I couldn't live in the present.
I felt like I was living in a dream where I could remember what I had just done 3 seconds ago clearly in my head and I couldn't live in the present.
I was in an extreme delay of life like when you wake up in the morning and remember a dream you just had but you can't live in it… only remember.
My mouth was extremely dry by this time and I didn't have any source of liquid but for some reason I kept having to go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom 4 different times just looking in the mirror and walking back and peeing and walking back. I was confused out of my mind. My stepping started to get very messy. At one point I had a very visual and hearing trip when I went to the bathroom and saw in the mirror a man 6 to 6'2 bald and I was 5'7 long hair. The man talked to me about life and death and I talked back I listened and found real spiritual guidance from him. I had to leave because someone came into the bathroom just staring at me. Each step that I took with my right foot was like stepping in a hole (the way cholo's do) and on my last trip to the bathroom there happen to be two cops and the vice principal of the school waiting. I didn't even see them and for some reason I had a Brugmansia leaf in my hand which I happen to throw down on the ground right in front of them. It was like I was asking for it… or over asking for it…
Of course the police noticed me and sat me down in front of the stairs and asked me why my eyes were so dilated. For some reason my trip went in silent mode and I was almost normal except for my eyes. I went against or said the opposite of whatever the cop said to avoid any charges. Brugmansia growing isn't illegal but intake is so I played it like a ridiculous 4 year old child while talking to the cop. When the cop said 'this kid's definitely on something' I talked back saying 'you're definitely on something'. He would say over and over 'what have you been taking' and I said 'I don't know what the hell your talking about man. I'm FINE!' smartest thing I could of possibly done... Or be able to physically and mentally handle. Bob had been watching from the stands and apparently dipped after seeing me get arrested.
I had to give them all my information. They put me in handcuffs in front of the whole entire high school and I felt ridiculous as all fuck. My mom was called to come pick me up and take me to the hospital. I was having more visual trips of blurriness and colors changing, not mixing. When we got to the hospital people stared at me and I felt really awkward. I thought I dropped my wallet and so I picked it up and my mom took it to me and gave it to the handicap man in front of me and I got really pissed off, I was told later I had stolen it straight from the man's bag. I needed to go to the bathroom so I asked the lady at the front desk where the bathroom was. She pointed and I said 'well can I have a pencil' and she said why? I said 'how am I going to go to the bathroom without a pencil.' I got in a whole argument and eventually had to be seated. Life was the same but made with my own laws of physics and nature, faces had changed, and every room I couldn't see had to be a room in my house at home… if that makes sense to you…
I had to go sit outside because I was too much of a ruckus and on the way out there were two girls sitting on a bench with skirts. I do not remember doing this but I was told that I raised my hands and pointed it towards there legs in a sexual manner. I was not close enough to actually assault them (10 feet away) but apparently it was really creepy. I was feeling fine. I didn't feel that un-normal. I felt like my head was going crazy a little bit but the only change I was having was my sight and mental thinking with the whole part about my own laws of physics and nature and faces and shit.
Finally I got up to my room and was kept under close care by 4 nurses. I was told that I needed to go to sleep but I couldn't, all I wanted to do was explore the universe. Everything that I did at the time made sense to me. The hospital room was really only a room in my house that I hadn't explored yet. Remembering it I know that this is not how life works. I can remember everything I did and the mindset that I had, I just can't figure out why I did it. Brugmansia could be a lead to a different universe that is part of this whole multiverse… spiritually speaking. Anyways my mom was sleeping in the hospital room with me but I didn't know that. Every time I turned my back from this person in my room it would switch between a little 12 year old really annoying girl and my mother.
This little girl wanted me to take my shirt off and I took it the wrong way calling her a pedophile and a freak. I kept saying 'I don't even know who the fuck you are! GET OUT!' The real reason I needed my shirt off was for the nurses to put all those suction cups on me to monitor my breathing and everything because they couldn't keep the little finger thing on me, I kept taking it off. All I wanted to do at this point was go to my room. The nurses wouldn't believe me when I said at the end of the hall was my bedroom. This was so frustrating for me. I wasn't getting angry or physical because I'm not the kind of person who gets that way but I was sure as hell about to walk out of the hospital. Eventually though I took my shirt off went to bed and shut up. I didn't dream at all, surprisingly.
I got up in the morning and felt fine except for when I looked at the pattern on the couch I was sleeping on. The couch appeared to have spiders, centipedes, rollypolys, all kinds of insects all over it. I was like 'aw shit! What the hell was I sleeping in last night.' My mom told me that I was just seeing things though, so I spent about 30 minutes just staring at the pattern. Eventually I got up enough balls to touch it and it was like a 3-D movie. My hand went right on to the couch, I still saw all the bugs but I could now tell that I was only tripping. I got up off the couch, ate breakfast, took a shower in the bathroom and when I was all done I went to the nurse and asked her if I could go get my clothing from my closet. This was a new nurse who hadn't experienced me yet and asked 'What?' and I said 'Just let me go to my closet down there. You've seen my room right? It's right in there, just let me go grab it real fast.' She just stared at me with the overly confused face and told me just to stay put.
The rest of my stay at the hospital was mainly just watching old cartoons which for some reason seemed very philosophical to me right then. The last part of my stay at the hospital I talked with a doctor who had just gotten it. She talked to me about how bad psychedelic drugs are and asked me why I had done them? I told her 'I was trying to find my self and what place I fit into in this world. I want to find out that there's more to this universe than just the shell painted on that I see everyday.' She told me 'Well psychedelics are bad and you don't find answers with them you just come close to death.' The rest of the day and night I was having mini trips of giant shiny spiders that you could only see in the reflection of the light. It was truly a crazy experience.
I feel that most people view psychedelics today in a very ignorant way. The doctor told me that I hadn't found answers with the use of psychedelics and I completely disagree. After my trip I stopped having Insomnia for four straight months which has never happened to me. I developed a very good sleeping habit which… is unbelievable to me. Since the trip my anxiety levels have been way down and stayed way down. I see life in a whole new way. I view every day as a blessing.
I feel shielded by this universe because I know now that there is more than one shell, there is an infinite amount of shells for this life in general. I have spoken to death and learned from him. I have made friends with death and plan on keeping that friendship. I realize things about the world that I would never think of before. I feel that Brugmansia and datura are drugs that you should never even touch. Brugmansia is not a drug that should be taken unless it is your heritage and you are aztec such as peyote is to indians. This drug is way too dangerous but that doesn't mean all psychedelics are. I believe in the use of psychedelics and a higher understanding of life and emotion. That is all.
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