Citation: birdkid. "Something Very Dark About This: An Experience with 4-Methylmethcathinone (exp82714)". Erowid.org. Feb 18, 2010. erowid.org/exp/82714
I ordered 9 grams of mephedrone online- though now I wish I had never ordered it
I'm not exactly sure of the potency was or if it was cut with something else. The reason I say this is because the substance was offwhite/ yellowish powder and smelled slightly sweet and chemically, like packaging tape- not fishy smelling like a lot of users have reported. The other reason is that my experience seems quite different than the other reports I've read.
Setting: Alone in my sisters apartment (while she's out of town). In a neutral mood, approaching this new drug with caution. Totally sober, well rested and hydrated.
I started out with very a small dose of appr. 50 mg. dissolved in water, around 11:00pm. I was probably a bit too cautious in my dosing because of recent reports I've read about peoples circulation being cut of and limbs turning blue and purple and such.
30 minutes later another dose of 30-40 mg dissolved in water.
I waited 90 minutes and nothing seemed to be happening. I then decided to insufflate 100 mg, turned on some techno and waited.
20 minutes later I was light headed, felt the speed jitters, a bit of synthetic energy, and my eyes began to float around the room.
Another 20 minutes later and I was already coming down which was disappointing. I didn't feel any of the 'euphoria' that others have experienced and definitely didn't feel like MDMA. I decided to continue to dose more and to increase my doses each time to see if I could achieve euphoria.
I think I alternated between 100- 150 mg both orally and insufflated over the next 8 hours.
What I experienced during that time was rather disappointing in so much that it wasn't anything like MDMA, though my pupils were gigantic, my heart was racing, my teeth were grinding, I was freezing one moment then sweating the next.
I couldn't focus my eyes on anything, it's like my eyes had a mind of their own and would dart around the room from one object to the next, and as the night went on, my eyes would dart around from one hallucination to the next until I realized those things/ shadows weren't really there.
I felt slightly happy at moments, slight energy and the need to dance, but towards the end, I began to feel really tired and light headed and sick.
I noticed twice during the night that I suddenly didn't recognize the room I was in and my perspective on the world was drastically altered. I didn't know where I was for few moments and it wasn't a good feeling at all. I quickly snapped out of it and continued to dance.
My concept of time was really messed up as if my brain wasn't capturing small segments of time. One thing I noticed was that the music I was listening to would occasionally skip, or a small segment would repeat itself, or it seemed like it would slow down, and just lose part of the beat and then skip ahead a few seconds. I know this isn't possible because I was listening to mp3's on itunes and there is no way the music would skip and I kept telling myself it was the drugs. This began to bother me and freak me out a little bit as I was wondering what this drug was doing to my brain. My eyes made everything look like I was looking at an old video that had been spliced to take out short segments- as if a few seconds here and there were cut from the video that I was seeing.
I remembered at one point thinking that this was like doing a bunch of amphetamine with ambien.
I decided at some point, after about 6 repeated doses that I should stop using this stuff because I wasn't getting anywhere with it. I was already coming down and decided to go to sleep. I then sat down and turned on the 'visualizer' on my itunes and just stared at it for the next 2 or 3 hours and began to notice how much I was hallucinating once I actually stopped moving.
The come down was worst thing about this experience. I began to suddenly feel really tired and light headed though I was unable to sleep. My teeth were still grinding and I was definitely having auditory and slight visual hallucinations. It felt a bit like MCCP or 2-cb.
I then fell into this really strange dark mental place that I can't even describe. All I can say is that I felt myself basically slipping in and out of insanity. There were moments when I would come back and tell myself, 'hey, it's alright, it's just the drugs, it will wear off, just go to bed'... but then the next half hour would be spent looking at something and not knowing who I was, or where I was, or if I was even real, or if this whole experience was really the imaginings of someone else, etc. I had this strange struggle with myself to convince myself that I am really me and that what I was experiencing was not real- just drugs. A real mind fuck, and not pleasant at all. I really felt like I had experienced insanity, and I just wanted it to go away so bad. The next couple hours were the most fucked up hours of my life- just battling my own brain to stay sane.
I eventually went to sleep though I had really weird dreams and didn't sleep very well. The next day I had a really bad headache, felt really distant and couldn't think clearly. My short term memory was definitely messed up. Over the next two days I noticed I was incredibly emotional and sad for absolutely no reason and my mind still seemed like it was in a fog. I seemed to also have slight hallucination flash backs over the next 2 days. I decided the next morning that I wouldn't do anymore of this stuff and that I had to get rid of the rest of the 8 grams and that going through that experience again wasn't worth it.
I ended up dosing again 3 days later.
Last night was the 3rd time using mephedrone alone. I think I finally achieved a small feeling of euphoria, but I definitely lost my mind come morning time. There is definitely something dark about this drug. Even as I write this and think back on how scary my mental experiences were with this drug, I still feel compelled to do more tonight.
I'd have to say that I really don't like meph that much, and that the negative mental effects that comes with it is not worth the slight bit of euphoria or excitement you may get from it. It's a really bad sign that I'm a bit scared of this drug yet I feel compelled to do more. I feel as though I've crossed over to very dark place in my mind and I don't know if I can ever go back.
I would advise to anyone reading this to strongly reconsider using mephedrone.
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