Citation: Inji. "Going Nuts: An Experience with Nutmeg (exp82143)". Erowid.org. Sep 8, 2018. erowid.org/exp/82143
This was my second time using nutmeg. The first time I had three nuts, and it had a mild to strong effect on me. On a scale of 1-10, the trippiness was around 7. This time I decided to up the dosage to 4 nuts. Not a bad idea to me at that moment, but, in retrospect, this did cause me a lot of trouble. I’m writing this the morning after, please forgive any lapse in diction. Anyway, right now I’m still feeling a little woozy-headed. I can’t concentrate for shit.
I am going to write down what I wrote in my journal, and then I’m going to decipher it. At the time I was so stoned I couldn’t really concentrate on what I was writing. The words in my journal are directly transcribed and will be in the quotation marks, stuff in parenthesis I added afterward to make it clear what I was writing about.
My mind of state was neutral at the time. I did feel some anticipation eating it. It was my birthday and I wanted something to do. Me and my family were going to go out for a trip (the non psychological type). I debated with myself whether I should have done this, but I went ahead and ate the nuts anyway. I felt bored. I ate the nuts whole, chewing them and chugging it down with milk. I found the first nut to be fine, taste-wise, but I hated the texture. It is like eating sawdust when I crush it up inside my mouth. I hadn’t been taking any medication during the period.
“T+0:00 I have just taken the nuts. It is approximately 10am.”
I made the decision to drive the four hours before the comeup. It was around my third hour that I began to feel the effects of the drug. It felt like something was definitely different. Not a huge effect, but definitely noticeable. I started to lose concentration of what I was doing. At the end of the two hour drive I decided it was no longer safe for me to be driving. I felt a mild euphoric effect. I forgot about the troubles that I was in at this point in life. I also began to become very conscious about what I was saying. The stuff I said sounded stoned, even to me.
“T+3:00 It is now 3 hours since first ingestion. I am starting to experience some weird effects similar to a pot buzz. “ This pot buzz was different in that I didn’t see any patterns or visual distortion. Quite relaxing. “I am experiencing some disorientation. I found myself trying to get into the restaurant that me and my family were eating at, but I was constantly trying to get in from the wrong door (the door was to my right, I tried to get in the door that was next to it.) Conversation is starting to become difficult, but I am managing. I will try to speak as little as possible to avoid being discovered. As far as the people around me know, I am completely sober.
I am having trouble following conversation already.”
“T+3:35. Food tastes quite good. My thinking has slowed and I’m finding it fun to look at rain drops hitting the puddles”
I did find looking at simple stuff, sort of zoning out on the environment, fun. Everything seemed very different.
“T+4:00. I feel really high. On a scale of 1-10, it is about 6 right now. I feel funny.”
“T+4:40. I am starting to trip hard. I am forgetting stuff very quickly. Note: Sit in the front seat”
I made this as a reminder to myself, to sit in the front seat to avoid being caught with red eyes. I still looked normal at this point when I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Under the impression that I am really thirsty. It’s getting harder to write this journal. I just drank a quart of water and I still feel thirsty. Getting sever cottonmouth.
I’m in front of an arcade machine. It reminds me vividly of the arcade centers I used to go to when I was a kid. The game on it, is ‘Metal Slug X’."
At this point I found that my mind was working pretty hard. I started to be bought to the present. I had been living in my past the few weeks ago, thinking about regrets and stupid decisions I had made. Nutmeg made me forget about that because in short, I was zonked. I could only think about what I was doing and trying not to act stoned. Which I was.
“I’m going for a smoke, my heart is beating pretty hard”
I could feel my body processes working, and in the silence of the location I was in, I was not sure whether I hallucinated the extra heartbeats or whether my heart was actually beating harder.
“I’m starting to feel like my body has a sack of bricks. (I felt very heavy, I didn’t want to move) Just now my mind started to say ‘bricks/sticks/bricks/sticks/bricks/sticks’ Pretty weird stuff”
At that point I had already probably lost it. Looking back, I thought that was as high as I was going to get, but the trip intensified. I can also confirm that I had the feelings of waves of inebriation washing over me, ebbing and flowing. I had periods of semi-sobriety, and then I would be overtaken by the nutmeg. When I was watching stuff go past outside the window, and when I closed my eyes to the point where I was looking past a slit, I could feel the vastness of the earth with my body, seemingly with the ability to look at everything, and look at nothing at all. I spent most of my time just looking out the window, not thinking about stuff at all. Everything looked beautiful.
I noted the same effects from a good sativa strain of marijuana. The difference was that the voices in my head were slightly less loud, and that if I did think about something upsetting, my brain just thought about other stuff so quickly that I forgot what was upsetting me. Either way I was probably grinning like an idiot, since I felt pretty relaxed. With marijuana, if something annoying gets stuck in your head you get pretty annoyed with it. And paranoid. Has this ever happened to you? I hate it. Also with marijuana any feelings of guilt I had were magnified tenfold. I didn’t have this with nutmeg.
“T+5:00. I am feeling terribly stoned, or as the British would put it “I was pretty munted”. Everything is turning into white noise. I’m walking in [something unreadable] Dreamworld. The rain is pattering on the front window of the car I’m in. My mind is very visual. I see images in my head. The radio in the background station is starting to sound like nonsense. They are speaking in English. My body feels light. I’m wearing my raybans and it’s nearly night. They asked me about why I was wearing them, and I said that I thought it looked cool. My eyes are probably very red by now. I keep on losing my train of thought. On the radio, a repeating melody made me think that time was skipping stuff that people…what the fuck am I writing?
At the end it gets a bit incomprehensible. I couldn’t hold on to one thought for more than a couple of seconds.
I couldn’t hold on to one thought for more than a couple of seconds.
“It’s very hard to keep track of what I’m writing. Voices around me echo when in the car that. I am in silence. Contrasting voice. Echoes in read. Horrible Cotton mouth.”
As you can see I could barely string a sentence together. I remember at this point I gave up trying to write full sentences and resorted to writing stuff down in key words. I don’t think it helped.
“Just now I looked at my mirror. I wondered who the person inside it was. So different from before”
Looking at mirrors when I am high is something I’m not going to do next time. I convinced myself that the person inside the mirror was real, that he was the evil version of me. However, this thought never over took me, it was only easier at this point in the trip to use my imagination. Imagination was pretty good as well. Some time during the afternoon when I got home I had a very good wank. I attest to its aphrodisiac properties . I also took a picture of myself with my camera to check how stoned I was. I was pretty stoned. I didn’t recognize the person in the picture I took of myself.
I forgot the write the time after these entries.
“I’m riding along a highway. I can imagine/feel the vastness. NTS:Please try to interpret”
Note to self to try and put stuff together later.
After this last entry I couldn’t be fucked to write in it. The rest of the evening was a blur. Voices suddenly seemed very loud. I was in a busy restaurant and my parents were scolding me for being so high (I really did look very stoned. Bloodshot eyes and pale face. The works.). However, I got through it by just concentrating on the trip, and nodding when they stopped talking. It worked well enough. Everything seemed extra vivid. I should elaborate: When they were talking to me I could only hear the people babbling away. It seemed that the people that normally sounded loud (the people that sit next to you) seemed to be coming from a speaker that has a pillow over it, and the people that normally are perceived as quiet (the background noise that people conversing make) became extra loud. I remember a person laughing at me in a fish shop from some faint memory, but I can’t even remember when it was. I remember thinking that they were laughing at me because I looked so stoned. The laugh still echoes in my head.
“T+24:00. Last night was a blur. I woke up this morning still thinking about yesterday morning. It makes me pass time very quickly. My parents found out that I was really stoned on nutmeg (they know that I do this) but I didn’t get angry. I was so zoned out that what they said sailed in through one ear and came out the other. My memory is still crap – can’t focus on anything. I had my first smoke of the day and I felt all the stoned feelings coming back.”
Summary: I have not so much as a hangover now, but I still feel pretty tired and mellow . A note that I should make is that under the influence I felt as though I was dreaming
under the influence I felt as though I was dreaming
. I felt as the normal me had just taken a vacation to somewhere else and I was living a dream. Staring at simple stuff like cars moving along a highway at the same speed as you looked as though you were watching a television commercial. However, the visual distortions were few, I only observed a difference in perception of things such as:
- I observed that I felt like I was observing myself, because the person that made the noises that I made, such as speaking, eating seemed like a different person entirely. It is hard to explain.
- I noticed that people familiar to me looked very different. Not a visual distortion different, but different in an intangible sense. Maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me.
In terms of auditory perception, I found:
- That concentrating on one audio stream was very difficult.
- Shrill sounds such as laughter freaked me out. The laughs would sound to me like a CD skipping. It would sound like this “HA-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha”, but imagine that all the ha’s sound exactly the same. Actually, this is probably what it sounds like normally, but under the influence I found that I noticed these things.
- Music sounded better than usual.
Overall, my experience of this drug is that it is a lot different than any drug I’ve tried otherwise (such as marijuana, shrooms, salvia.). I did get a lot of thinking done while I was under the influence, but now I have forgotten what it was already. I believe in the powers of the nutmeg, don’t underestimate it. I did crash pretty hard at the end of the night. I was so sleepy I probably couldn’t stand up. I don’t remember most of what I did. I think I will do this again, when I have a lot of time on hand. It’s been nearly thirty hours since I ate it and I still feel altered. Nowhere near baseline. I wouldn’t call the experience fun, but if I had been in different circumstances, I think I would have enjoyed it.
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