DOSE:

225 mg

oral

Pharms - Venlafaxine

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

190 lb

My decade of drug use ended me up financially broken and in drug rehab for Heroin/OxyContin addiction. As evil as Heroin/Oxy may be, this substance did far more to me in retrospect especially since, at the time, it was far more subtle. I decided to try and explain this differently than the other experience reports I have submitted, as almost all of this is in retrospect and I didn't even recognize anything was 'wrong' with me.

Background:
My mother and father's families both have mental illness in them. My paternal grandmother was one of the most negative human beings I have ever met, and my mother's side has schizophrenia and addiction issues on it. My father is also a recovering alcoholic.

Sounds like a good genetic/social pool from which to bring forth a child eh? Well as I am sure you can guess, I have had serious problems with depression since elementary school. When I was 19 I started experimenting with drugs in college. I have had them all. I also thought maybe SSRI's might hold the key to feeling 'normal'....whatever that means.

My depression manifested itself in one key way, out of the blue, even when getting good grades, and working, and having a girlfriend, I would become convinced that life would never work out for me, and it seemed as plain as day as 1+1=2. I would even stop listening to music, my one true love.

I tried Remeron, Wellbutrin, Prozac.......none of those meds did much for me with the exception of Wellbutrin giving me spontaneous and embarrassing erections in public.

I finally tried Effexor since my Psychiatrist was a champion for it. I stepped up to 225 mgs a day. I was on Effexor from January of 2005 to August of 2008.

Effects of Effexor on my life:
Almost immediately, I lost the ability to play videogames for extended periods of time. In my young and teens I could play games for 4 hours at a stretch, now on effexor when I played games it was for maybe 30-45 minutes at a time and I didn't enjoy it. Oddly enough I liked reading about videogames more than playing them. I should have noticed this as my entire life I have loved playing games. I have always gone to the gym but I always did it half-assed. I started going to the gym 6 days a week, and honestly I wasn't tired at all.

I had no trouble sleeping but it would take a nuclear bomb to wake me up. I have never been a guy that cares too much about his appearance, but suddenly image became paramount to me. I started spending ridiculous amounts of money on clothes. I am a straight man but long time friends started to wonder if I was a closet homosexual due to the fact that I was always shopping for clothes and getting my hair cut every 3 weeks, I was also tanning twice a week. This all started when I was on Effexor and I never ever cared how I looked this much. To me, this was a form of OCD but instead of being a clean freak I became a body image freak. Also I had a very diminished appetite. Combine that with all the working out and I went from 190 pounds to 153 pounds in less than a full year.

Looking at pictures of myself from back then I totally understand how people could have thought I was gay, as I was rail then and always waaaay overdressed for any occasion. At the time this seemed 100% normal too me.

Speaking of sexuality, I had almost no libido. I think in that 3 year period I only had sex with 4 girls. I honestly had no desire for a girlfriend or long term relationship but in 2006 I ended up in a 10 month relationship where we had sex about once every 2 weeks, and I didn't even care if we did or not. I didn't even masturbate more than once a week...for a man in his 20s that means something is up.

I went from having mild social anxiety to being weirdly social. I should explain this, people have told me I almost always sounded confrontational when trying to be friendly. I would start arguments about stupid things nobody cared about. Again, old friends noticed this. I didn't really enjoy being around others very much.

My family has told me my facial expression almost never matched my voice. Like I would look angry but sound happy, or look happy and sound angry. I have been told by family I looked 'amped' and 'determined' and 'unable to relax at all'. I found it very hard to sustain any activity for more than 45 minutes at a time max besides working out. I would turn a movie off half way through; I would watch half a TV show. I would play one level of a videogame. I would bail on social events early. This ended up being a problem at work as I could NOT force myself to sit and work for more than 45 minutes at a time. I had a lot of paperwork that was half way done. I ended up getting fired from this job.

My family and friends have told me I became a completely different person..........and as I said I noticed none of this at the conscious level.

Getting Off Effexor:
After getting out of drug rehab in 2008, I decided I wanted to see who the hell I was under all of this stuff......so I kicked Effexor cold turkey........I have read about the horrible withdrawals but to me the only effect is that I was dizzy for about 3 days....after that I was fine.

Me Now:
My entire personality has been relaxed and mellowed. I no longer have to work out 6 days a week, I am back at a healthy 180 pounds. I have a normal appetite and eat three meals a day. While I still put effort into my appearance it isn't this big deal to me anymore. It isn't this all consuming obsession to look good all the time.

My energy level has gone down but I have not become depressed again. I can play videogames again. I have a normal sex drive again. I feel far more mellow than I did.

Looking back at that time period is like trying to remember half of a dream.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 82048
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Aug 14, 2025	Views: Not Supported
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Pharms - Venlafaxine (191) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Medical Use (47), Various (28)