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Only a Few Months
Adderall
by Kelsey
Citation:   Kelsey. "Only a Few Months: An Experience with Adderall (exp81340)". Erowid.org. Jul 8, 2019. erowid.org/exp/81340

 
DOSE:
40 - 90 mg oral Amphetamines (daily)

BODY WEIGHT: 117 lb


I took adderall for only about 5-6 months, progressively got worse towards the end months.

It started with the euphoria, met new people (even my current boyfriend) loved everyone and everything. Music was so easy all at once, I could create songs like it was nothing, I also aquired new interests which I still pursue after quitting adderall. I loved adderall, it became my life. At first it's bliss, then it's the devil.
I loved adderall, it became my life. At first it's bliss, then it's the devil.
I wouldn't take back my experience for anything... But even now I still crave it and want it... I hope I have it in me to not fall into temptation.

I became involved in so many interests, people. I would sit on google for hours at a time revealing any answers I needed for anything..

I lost myself in it though. As good as it sounds... It wasn't. I lost 30ish pounds in as little as 3 months. I didn't even notice until my ex saw me when we haven't seen each other in about 9 months. With no appetite, you forget to eat.. Nothing sounds good. Walking back and forth like a crazy women through holiday trying to find something I could tolerate eating.. Finally I always grabbed a bag of chips. I would force myself to eat them... And before I knew it I became so involved with googling everything I forgot to make myself eat them, so I'd just give up and put them away thinking I wasn't hungry anyway. Days literally felt like weeks, weeks like months. My time perception was effed. When I looked in the mirror after my ex brought to my attention how sickly I actually looked.. I felt my body collapse without it physically doing so. It was the realization of the destruction it was truely causing. I was skin and bones, my ribs hurt, spine hurt, it's difficult to describe

The sad thing is is that I felt on top of the world.
The sad thing is is that I felt on top of the world.
But when pointed out to me, I discovered I was on the bottom. That made me feel sick. It'd make anyone feel sick if they were to realize what they thought and felt, thinking it was the best thing that ever happened to them, was actually the worst.

I haven't taken it for over a week now... It was and still is difficult. I want it but I will not find it in me to go out and find it because frankly I can say for 5ish months it ruined my life.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 81340
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 19 
Published: Jul 8, 2019Views: 741
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Amphetamines (6) : Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)

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