Citation: forty and nine. "Became the Centre of Our Lives: An Experience with 1,4-Butanediol (exp81119)". Erowid.org. Oct 18, 2020. erowid.org/exp/81119
1,4b and Addiction
My story is a tale of addiction to add to the other reports of people becoming dependant on 1,4b. To set the scene, I'm a 21 year old male from Australia who has problems with depression, anxiety and addiction (alcohol, weed, benzos) as well as 1,4b.
My first experience with 1,4b was a good one. I had a group of mates over and they bought me a bottle (20ml) to share with my gf at the time. Over here it costs about 3.50 per ml which seems to be alot more than reports from overseas but cheaper to have on a night out than booze. Anyhow after that night a few weeks passed until I tried it again, this time with a new gf whom I'd been chasing for a long time. We took it together, starting at once a week. It was amazing, it sped things along, we became inseperable and with that our usage increased to daily to the point of using it every 3 hours
our usage increased to daily to the point of using it every 3 hours
. It began to become the centre of our lives. We spent pretty much all our savings her even worse. We were spending hundreds of dollars a week on the habit and the times we could not get it were hell. We would go into withdrawals and just wait until our dealer could get more. We spent so much time driving back and forth to them that we could drive there basically asleep or shaking from withdrawals.
The problem was that as soon as the juice hit us we would forget all those problems again and everything would be fine again. To describe what its like to be on it is hard, but most people liken it to alcohol without the messy feeling. I think its slightly different. Its a more euphoric feeling and just totally opens me up, conversations are easier and things seem funnier and more interesting. So I guess in a way it is similar. Anyway as I said the addiction was clear and people close to us started to notice something was wrong. We were falling asleep all the time and after we'd wake our eyes looked massive. Somehow we managed to avoid it for a while but then my parents eventually found all my discarded bottles and it was time to admit it.
I went into rehab for a week. Sadly I met some pretty cool people and spent most of the time talking and smoking. Not long after I was back at it with my gf and it got as bad as it was before. Somehow people believed I was clean and even though my folks knew my gf had been using as much as me they let me keep seeing her. Things got worse and worse until we were both broke and desperate. We decided enough was enough and decided to detox at her friends place. It was 3 days of pure hell. The first time I had vals and it was actually not so bad. This time was cold turkey and it was amazingly hard. No sleep, constant shaking and aural hallucinations. I dont remember alot as some of it I was not lucid. After it all passed things got better for me but my relationship was never the same and we dont see each other anymore. So not only have I lost someone I love, but I'm broke with no job currently and a family who dont trust me anymore. Even now in moderation like anything I will defend it but take it from me, its a powerful drug that can take hold of you as powerfully as heroin and a withdrawal phase that can kill you. I could write about my experience in so much greater detail but I wont. All ill say is after it I still struggled with addiction but now I am clean from everything and its a better way to live.
It will take me a long time with psych help and willpower to get me back to who I was.
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