Citation: Hypersphere. "Sacred Love and LSD: An Experience with LSD (exp80897)". Erowid.org. Sep 23, 2010. erowid.org/exp/80897
||(blotter / tab)
“The best results come when you fuck someone you really love, during the acid trip. That’s when the nervous system is most open, most unconditioned, and ready to take a completely new imprint.”
- Timothy Leary
Background: I am a male, at the time of this experience I was 24 years old and weighed 125 pounds. I take no medications but use marijuana and yerba mate on a daily basis. My partner is female, at the time of this experience she was 19 years old and weighed 135 pounds. She takes no medications but uses yerba mate on a daily basis. Both of us are experienced with a variety of psychedelic drugs. This was one of our first and most fondly remembered acid trips together.
The experience: The trip was off to a rocky start. Halloween, and some drunk-and-rowdy types came over to visit just minutes after the four of us had put three blotters each of Sacramental LSD under our tongues. My partner got sucked downstairs, into a whirlwind of thrashing guitars and bongos played, without much rhythm. My roommate Star and I winced at the percussion, saying “I think I’m staying up here, man!” Star and a friend who wasn’t on acid were deep into discussion about art. The acid was beginning to kick in, gently, slowly. Sitting on the deck, I admired the wispy clouds blowing over the night sky, and watched the other two smoke. It’s funny, thinking about how much time I’ve spent hanging out with smokers waiting for them to get their fix. I like not smoking. If I get cold before the ciggie is finished, then I can go inside!
I donned my white labcoat, and ventured downstairs. There was something comforting and familiar about the garment. Stained yellow and brown pockets, but otherwise crisp and white. Just wearing it provokes me to think within a scientific framework. Suddenly, I’m not just getting a snack from the kitchen. Now I am performing a perceptual test, in cutting an apple whilst ignoring the low-vibration drunks. I wander around the house, feeding slices of apple to people. “Control group: People not on LSD! How would you describe this apple?” My control group told me is was sour, and crisp. Those subjects on LSD were in agreement, though perhaps perceiving the taste of the apple more vividly. Our senses had been heightened by the drug.
Star’s room is high-energy. Brightly lit and warm, dominated by earthy red tones, playing rock music at high volume, filled with intense crystals and involving conversation. I found myself jittery and anxious, not being in my comfort space. Retreat! Retreat to my own room which is the antithesis of Star’s. Calm, cool and dimly lit with a salt lamp (AKA psychedelic-safe light). I flopped on the bed with the requisite fuzzy blue blanket. Ahh, that’s better! My partner came up and joined me.
With LSD I find it is easy to be distracted by worldly things and stay on the surface of the experience. If I had chosen, like Star, to involve myself in conversation and other normal activities too much, it would be easy to ignore the effects of the drug. I have programmed myself so well that, for instance, I can go down to breakfast whilst coming up on eight hits of acid, and no one will even notice! The “breakfast” program still runs smoothly, no matter how high I am. In such a case, the trip becomes about having attention placed on our conditions reflexes and responses. High on acid, and watching the program run. As long as I am clear with my intent, everyday words and actions can be carried out as usual. Though it can be hard to maintain, and not burst into giggles at the hilarity of the situation.
Instead of getting involved in wordly things like Star, I was sitting with chill ambient music, in dim lighting, paying attention to what I was experiencing. Sitting close with my partner and feeling the psychedelic shift. The experience changed; I was no longer the water-strider rippling the pond’s surface. No, a big trout came up from the depths and snatched me. I was pulled down, immersed now fully in the experience. To me, this is a difference between mushrooms and LSD. An eigth of mushrooms will always immerse me fully into the experience. With LSD, I have to choose to engage, and give the drug something to work with. That’s when it becomes deep. My partner and I sat facing with legs around each other, forehead to forehead. Third eye lined up with third eye. Consciously choosing to open, and let the energy flow. I chose to open my mind fully and unconditionally to hers. There are no barriers between us. We started to cycle energy, pulling it up through the core and flowing back-and-forth from eye to eye. Up and out through the crown, then back down to be recycled, grounded and pulled up once again. A vortex spiralling up through us, a bio-electromagnetic energy field surrounding us and pushing at the edges of the room.
The door was open, and whenever someone would walk by or speak from outside I would feel and see in my mind’s eye a protective network of energy sparkling in front of the door. It is all about vibrations, the vibrations we choose to pay attention to. Vibrations from outside were nothing more than distractions, to be dampened and then ignored. It was our own shared vibration that was being amplified. I pondered what it would be like, to sit this way for six or eight hours in a chaotic environment, focussing one’s attention on nothing but the other person. Not letting your attention flicker from that connection to the other, not even for a second. Now that would be a profound exercise in trust, dedication and love.
There came a point of openness where I could touch her essence directly with mine. Her mind, her soul, her spiritual light body... Her essence was earthy, dark and animalistic. Moving with a fluid motion, like a young colt or water acting within earth. Like a school of fish, capable of evaporating and fleeing with speed, should she be startled. Her essence was simultaneously shy and warmly welcoming, half drawing away then opening back up again invitingly. She was touching my own essence, gently, gently. It was beautiful. I realized that this is the level on which I interact with various DMT entities. When seeing the essence of an entity, nothing can be hidden. The energetics of that person, warm and welcoming or tricky and malevolent, is immediately obvious. I’d never before touched another human’s essence, this was new territory.
“You are beautiful, on all levels, and no matter which way I take you apart!” I say.
“Yes, and you are beautiful too!” She replied.
“Even on a cellular level, each cell has a DNA blueprint to make you, and it is perfect, and it is beautiful...” Touching her essence made me think about what it is like when other beings touch my essence. I, too, was one of these tricky human things. You never know what you are going to get, with a human essence. So animalistic, tricky and shifty like animals can be. Trained to have instinctive and sometimes dangerous reactions. Some of us are so open and loving, others are quite the opposite. Be cautious, when interacting with humans on the energetic plane!
Different sensations about my partner flooded me. I felt a strong water aspect. Deep blue waves of the ocean, lapping against grey rocky islands covered in green trees. A heron, standing in the shallows to fish. The heron (earth) acting within the waves (water). The way she moves her body, precisely and delicately, is like a heron. Turn the heron inside out and you get the colt, the essence, the spiritual energy body. Flowing water, acting within earth. As below, so above. Water and earth, earth and water, working together. Grounded but surrendering to the flow of life.
The two of us exploded outwards. No longer confined to our bodies, now the body was just a central point, one where we localized or focused our consciousness. Our edges ran far out, the lotus petals blooming and unfolding far beyond the edges of the house. We had become expansive. Now we lay, with me on top of her, so that all our chakra centres were in alignment. Our total mind-body organisms were synching up, on all levels. I felt myself opening up to every aspect of our relation to each other. To the totality of what we experience together and teach each other. In my mind’s eye I saw a channel from head-to-toe through my body, being filled with green glowing light as we continued the energetic exchange.
“Would you like to make love?” I ask her.
“I would love to make love!” Came the enthusiastic reply. We shut the door, shed our clothes. Align our bodies and chakras again. A little foreplay, feeling the energy flow very distinctly. Feeling her response vividly, with each touch of my fingers. We are as one. One plus one, makes one... but with the power of three. Magic. She is tight as I push, penetrating... a little cry escapes us both.
We made love differently than ever before. Neither feels towards the normal back-and-forth of penis in vagina. No. My lingam pushes deeper, seeking inwards. Feeling clearly each shift of her yoni’s smooth muscle tissue. In this state of heightened awareness, my partner feels vividly all the muscles in her body. She moves her legs in rhythmic stretching patterns, causing cycles and patterns of pressure applied to my penis. The energy between us continues to build, and build. I guess this is what tantra is about. Sacred love. Experiencing the divine by raising the vibration between us.
Fondly beseeching, my
Mouth murmured worship
Breath, heavy. Skin, fire.
Spread her labia open.
Half perilous penis deeply
Closetted herein pink vagina.
Let me come in your naked ecstasy!
Eventually our tantric acrobatics stimulated me to orgasm. So intertwined within her that she feels every pulse just as clearly as I do. Release, release, release! In the quiet moments after I open my eyes. Everything is covered in buzzing fractal patternings now, whereas before my visuals had been very light. No wonder, though! That kind of sexual release had blown me wide open. I was very, very aware of the energy flow and expression in everything. Now lying cuddled up, there was a curious feeling in my mind. My mind was like a blank slate, I had turned off the usual internal chatter. My mind was silent and empty of thoughts, open to whatever would impinge on it. My attention seemed to focus on a distant point past everything I could see. I didn’t look at things, as much as I looked through them. Focussing past the material surface, to the essence. I began to get a few thoughts, information that seemed to come from nowhere in particular, but which felt extremely vivid and real to me. Archetypical information which held a feeling of trueness. Thinking a lot about jaguars. I saw the soft footfalls of the cat stalking through the jungle, and heard the moist, breathy growl of its voice. I saw the pyramid at Teotihuacan, vividly as though I had lived during ancient times.
I remember as a child vacationing with my parents. While visiting Teotihuacan, we were walking up some stairs inside one of the buildings, and I knew before I got there that I would see a golden jaguar statue at the top. I was having a serious déjà vu, though too young to know what it was. When we got to the top everything was as I remembered, except that the jaguar’s eyes did not glow a fiery-red as in my vision. The jaguar again. The jaguar was here at Teotihuacan. I embodied the jaguar. Holding my partner close, I felt my arms covered with spotted yellow and black fur. I became the jaguar. The jaguar was the totem animal of shamans. It was a role I could choose to take on. The jaguar. Woah. Woah. My monkey mind screamed in confusion, afraid of the implications.
My partner feels the fear go through me, my body becoming rigid. There is a scared look in my eye. I try my best to explain what I am experiencing and downloading. Having indulged in fear, I am now shut out of the experience. There are no more cosmic downloads or past life regressions after this point in the trip. When my mind recoiled from what I was seeing, in shock and horror, meant that I had seen all I was ready to accept tonight. All I can do is accept these kind of experiences at face value. I don’t have to believe that what I saw was “true” or “real”, but I have to at least accept that I had the experience. I’ve tried denying experiences before, and it was very distressful. The monkey mind does not like having the rug pulled from under its feet.
The rest of the trip was smooth and comfortable. We lay together, talking openly and enjoying as the acid began to come down. It was a very contented and clear-headed state, in contrast to our last experience which was a combination of LSD (at a lower dose) and MDMA. Taking the LSD on its own was a much less frenzied and chaotic experience. More focussed, more aware. Less sensual surface, more deep energetic connection. We smoked a little joint to soften the edges. We exchanged massages and made love a couple more times, as couples are wont to do. Using the same techniques as last time, deep tantric muscle movements rather than the old innie-outie.
Around five in the morning... fully satisfied but still tripping and unable to sleep. We arose and reconnected with our roommates. The drunk-and-rowdy types were gone. I had my intention set on making everybody a nice strong cup of yerba mate, and some oatmeal with superfoods (gogi berries, blueberries, raw almonds, raw mulberries, maca flour, raw cacao nibs) and a little cane sugar to taste. It is a meal that is quite easy to digest and bland, but not too bland. Nothing that would offend the psychedelic and up-all-night mentality. Food with a high amount of nutrients, vitamins and minerals, antioxidants and so on.
Despite the yerba mate, cacao and whatnot, I was very sleepy after breakfast. I went to bed and my partner joined me soon after. I had very vivid and interesting dreams that night. I can’t remember the details, but in the dream world I ate another three hits of acid. Actually one blotter fell into my mouth, accidentally somehow, and then we consciously chose to eat the second two. In my dream-land, those tabs of LSD seemed to get me high, too!
Tim Leary cautioned that one should choose a partner carefully if one is going to make love with them while high on LSD. You can’t just go out to the bar, pick someone up, and expect to have a good experience taking LSD and making love with them. The nervous system under LSD is opened up so much, it is important to me to feel a real loving connection there. What can be experienced then is the essence of tantra, feeling the energy flow back and forth between each other, and amplifying that sensation.
My partner wrote a poem based on her experiences of the night, which she wishes to share:
'As I sit silent, away from you, you come into my mind. Caressing me gently with your limitless body. Stroking my heart with soft sand, holding my hand. Unwinding my mind, intertwining to the divine, into the forest we slip, deep, dark, unknown guided by light, you gently lead me to the unfolding lotus. Kissing me with blue petals of love.
I open my eyes as your mouth passionately bites my neck, taking me up the tree of life, tall and strong. I grip to stay hold but loose all tension making the dark forest fractal with light. Fairies and elves begin to play games, passing me around as if I were a dancing pixie. Filling the sky with magical loving hearts, exploding rainbows full of life. Passion bites again gripping me higher and higher up the tree of life, as I see above and beyond everything.
I fall limitlessly into bliss, soft luscious lips kiss as I bite to see if it’s all real. Something solid comes into my mind, an eye. Complex and divine, which line should I follow down into your mind, it glides like ice into a crystal cave, reflecting only light, sparkles, beauty of the night, expressed through a once solid object. But soon all boundaries had disappeared, I float through the crystal cave, unlocking the flame, healing the pain.
I jump to see what I fall into next… a misty morning where I lie on the beach moon still in reach, nothing needing to be preached. A beautiful creature, black as night, a panther, it seems to be. I breathe as it attacks me slowly and gently showing me the ocean, deep, deep, deep. I relax, it pulses and sends me wisdom in and throughout, like a quartz crystal, grounded, aware, so sure of its power. But as a panther only jumping the prey ready to take on its heat.
Like a fire I burn, sparks flying everywhere, my hand moves to touch something soft, a body naked nothing to restrict its beauty. As I breathe, and breathe again feeling myself coming back to my body, my eyes open to a limitless beauty. I see you, as I sit silent, wide open heart, ready to bleed and let everyone see the panther that came inside me and left me open to breathe, to flow.
Gently, softly as you touched my soul.'
Thanks for reading
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