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The Goodbye Night
Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis)
by Osta
Citation:   Osta. "The Goodbye Night: An Experience with Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis) (exp80650)". Erowid.org. Oct 31, 2009. erowid.org/exp/80650

 
DOSE:
100 ml oral Ayahuasca (liquid)

BODY WEIGHT: 72 kg


Javier reserved us 3 seats, and we only sat for a short time before the ceremony started. The ayahuasca was sour and seemed to linger in my throat. Water could not wash the taste out, but smoking a cinnamon cigarette made the sour taste disappear. There were two guest shamans present at the ceremony. One was the Tabaquero, who was now an official member of our team. He sang only one icaro during the entire ceremony, but what he sang was breathtakingly beautiful. His voice was low and smooth. The notes he sang vibrated in the air and penetrated the room, resonating in my body. The other guest Shaman was Javier's friend who came for healing. He sang many icaros, working a lot while Javier rested. His presence must have really helped Javier, because the ceremony was a difficult one.

Right from the beginning, Javier acknowledged the presence of Brujos. In his opening prayers, he spoke about his enemies. “Do not kill them or harm them, oh Lord. On the contrary, let them be well.” As the ceremony unfolded, it became clear that negative energies were present to quite a great extent. Javier would stop singing for long periods at a stretch, coughing and puking. The effects of the brew were mild. It felt like the negative forces present were holding us all back from experiencing the visions. In this way, passed an hour and a half. During that time, Javier treated no more than 3 patients. It seemed like tonight would be a long night.

I was having some strangely random visions. I saw different kinds of food, and some other things which seemed unimportant. I let these things go from my mind. I saw something in a huge pot, about a meter wide, cooking over a fire. Then I saw beggars – spirits extending their hands to me. I gave them imaginary gold coins.

I had strange sensations in my body. The floor underneath my feet seemed to be sinking and rising. It felt like the entire gathering was happening on a boat, on top of a mildly turbulent sea. My left leg would sink down, while my right leg would remain on the same level, and then vise versa. For a moment, I had the sensation that the floor under my feet was wet with water.

I had a vision of the Devil, the prince of darkness. He was in truth a monstrous beast, but in public appeared as a rich and attractive young man. He was neat in appearance, his short blond hair carefully groomed. He looked to be in his early twenties. I saw him sitting on his throne, in a huge room in his mansion.

I saw many different animals come and look at me. Different types of birds, and land animals as well. They only stayed for a very short time. Then I saw a vision of what was happening with Javier. Behind my closed eyes, I saw different kinds of spiritual objects and spiritual parasites arrive from left and right. Various kinds of darts, worms, little snakes and insects arrived in rapid succession and were all sucked into a sort of black hole, which was Javier. These creatures and objects were obviously sent to harm us, and I felt the tension in the air. Periodically, Javier would cough out or puke a mass of these energies, already converted within his body to phlegm and other waste products. When I could no longer see the entities arriving, the atmosphere changed. The negative forces had left, and uninterrupted songs followed. I began to have more vivid sensations in my body, and more clear ideas in my head. My heart overflowed with love and seemed to expand and expand, beyond the limits of my body.

I briefly thought about Ninfa. When I did, I saw a crow fly in and sit watching me. Connected with Ninfa, I felt so much love that it was difficult to contain. I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet with my head in my hands. The love inside was too intense, too much. When I returned to the ceremony, I saw Ninfa with me as my wife. I had that vision before, but today it went slightly deeper, because I saw the significance and the sacredness of marriage. I saw how both of us would be transformed by this action. Everything would become different with this level of commitment.

Several hours had passed, and I still have not thrown up. I wondered whether I still have things inside me which need to be cleaned out. As soon as this though crossed my mind, I felt a very strong need to purge. What came out was of a thickness and consistency reminiscent of a breakfast cereal that absorbed all of the milk – it was soft, but without a drop of extra liquid. After this purging, my stomach felt much better, and the feeling of cleanliness spread throughout my body. I was also able to breathe freely and easily – for the last few days, I have been coming down with a cold, but the ayahuasca expelled all of the phlegm from my body.

Throughout the ceremony, I sang along with many of the songs. They have started to come more naturally, and I understood the proper method of learning them. First, one must learn the melody. Then, singing along with the maestro, one sings without pronouncing words, making only sounds. But if some of the words are familiar, one sings those words. In this way, the student is constantly familiarizing himself with the melody, while at the same time learning the words. Whenever he learns a new line, he incorporates it into his song, thus constructing the complete song in his mind, line by line.

Towards the end of the ceremony, Javier said that he would temporarily give his body to a dead spirit. He shrieked, and the room went quiet. Then, clearing his throat, he began to talk in a different timber of voice and an overall different manner. This being talked to a mother and her son. He told the son to give up his bad friends and to listen to his mother instead. “What is more important – the love of friends or the love of a mother?”, he asked the boy. The boy replied that the love of a mother is more important. “You are not treating your mother well”, continued the spirit. “If you keep being bad to your mother, I'm going to give you a little kiss. It will put you into bed for a week. The kiss of the dead hurts a lot. Do you hear what I am saying? Be good to your mother.”

After a little more talking, Javier shrieked again, then returned to his body, breathing heavily. “Phew”, he said. “My body... Everything hurts. Well, lets continue, who is next? Come on, hurry up!” He was talking in his ordinary voice and matter, which was noticeably different from the voice he was using moments ago.

At the end of the ceremony, as Javier was saying the prayers, I thought about the concept of the trinity. An idea came that the Holy Spirit is an attitude, not a being. I saw the Father as the invisible Divine, the Son as ourselves – man, God's representative in the world. And the Holy Spirit is the attitude of holiness, the attitude man has towards God, towards existence, towards all life. With this, we closed the ceremony. As a special farewell gift, Javier said a prayer asking for a smooth trip from Kirill and Alex.

“What can I do to always be close to God?”, asked Kirill after the ceremony. “Through prayer”, said Javier. “And through doing good for the people. If you see somebody begging for money, give it to them, because God is there. If there is a sick person somewhere, visit them, because God is there. This way you will be close to God always.

Kirill also told Javier that he saw a pyramid in his visions. “Yes, we are going to build a pyramid in the middle of the property,” confirmed Javier. He said that he has had many visions, and saw that the center will be very big and very famous. “We are going to have more land, and we are going to have houses made out of cement for the tourists. In the future, we will have electricity and the whole perimeter will be illuminated. A very rich executive is going to come with a heart problem. I will help him, and once he is cured, he will buy us more land and build many houses.” I was just laughing, because it seemed incredible. But I was laughing from happiness rather than disbelief. “There is not going to be time to even go to the bathroom once the center is up and running”, concluded Javier.

As we stepped outside the house, we saw a motor taxi coming our way. It was 4:30 AM, and the streets were deserted. The street we were on was a small one – one onto which taxis do not turn after a certain hour. In the past, I have waited for 15 minutes or more on the next major intersection and was unable to catch a taxi. Today, this taxi came straight for us, and within 30 seconds of leaving Javier's house, we were on our way home.

When we left for the airport, we were greeted by an even more unusual sight. A white taxi – a four door car – was waiting for us just steps outside of Alan's house. We had a lot of luggage and this car was just perfect. I thought it must be expensive, but the driver said that he would only charge 5 soles – just a fraction more than a three wheel moto. The most surprising fact about this event was the appearance of the car itself. I have never seen a taxi in front of my house – not once in the two months I've lived here. The only places one sees taxis in this city are in Belen market and in the Airport. In the city itself, the ratio of car taxis to moto taxis is about 1 to 400. And the car taxis only leave from particular points in the city. The driver himself greeted us by asking us if we liked Ayahuasca. “This entire bag is nothing but ayahuasca”, I joked, pointing to Alex's huge backpack. It was a perfect ride.

We said goodbye in the airport, hugging each other again and again. Alex thanked me for showing him the best month of his life. Kirill also thanked me and said that he will try to come back soon. I thanked them for coming and keeping me company. “It will be better when you come back next time”, I promised Kirill.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 80650
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 31, 2009Views: 11,955
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Ritual (129), Banisteriopsis caapi (169), Psychotria viridis (170), Ayahuasca (8) : Group Ceremony (21), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Guides / Sitters (39), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9)

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