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I Love My Father Again
Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis) & Ritual
by Osta
Citation:   Osta. "I Love My Father Again: An Experience with Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis) & Ritual (exp80647)". Erowid.org. Oct 31, 2009. erowid.org/exp/80647

 
DOSE:
100 ml oral Ayahuasca (liquid)

BODY WEIGHT: 72 kg


After I came back from Javier's yesterday, I was ecstatic about the experience I had. It was of a different caliber all together, totally of a different dimension. I told Alex and Kirill about the cleansing that took place, the spirits I heard singing, and the miraculous healing that Javier did. Alex immediately said that he would come with me the following evening, but Kirill paid no attention. It was as if he didn't hear anything I said.

When it was time to go to the ceremony, Cory came with us, but Kirill could not be convinced to come. Just as we were leaving, Alan came up to talk to us. “With whom are you drinking tonight?”, he asked. I told him that we were drinking with Javier. “His Ayahuasca is really strong. It's gonna kick your ass”, said Alan, winking at Cory. “And you should go too”, he said to Kirill. “If you have fear of something, you should go forward and face it, rather than run away from it”. Kirill just smiled and hugged Alan. It was an interesting sight.

The ceremony was stronger than the previous one. The Ayahuasca came on really strong, and within 10 or 15 minutes, I could feel my body dissolving. The spirit voices began to sing from the first song, and with each new song, sang flawlessly. The harmonies on some of the songs were amazing. For the first half an hour or so, I was just focused on the singing and the music. After that, came the realization that I am the One, somebody special, the hero of this movie or this book called Life. Then, I became aware of the family unit, the mother, the father, and the child. For some time I meditated on family and understood it as a microcosm which is also reflected on a great scale in the outside world.

For a number of years, I had a strained relationship with my father. I tried to love him, but there were too many grudges and bad memories. I couldn't appreciate the way he raised me. But during tonight's ceremony, I understood that he had raised me well. I thanked him for raising me, and all of the ill feeling I ever had against him went away. I could appreciate the discipline he taught me, and looking at where I was today, I concluded that he raised me well. I told him this mentally. After this, great feelings of love came. I could once again love my father.

Various small incidents from everyday life came to mind, and I understood their deeper esoteric significance. Then, the intensity of the journey increased. With my eyes open, I could see Javier standing with a glowing red orb in his hand, moving it up and down, then to the sides. At another point in time, I saw him holding a spiritual staff. Later on, I saw the same red orb just floating in the air. It remained there for about 5 minutes.

After the half way mark in the ceremony, I began to see spirits. They looked exactly like humans, and seemed just as solid. Some of them would just walk by, some others would come and stay near me. One of Javier's students came to me and rubbed my back a little bit, and then started to do something to open my third eye. When he was finished, a spirit doctor came to me and began to suck something out of my forehead. I have been having some problems with pimples on my forehead and with infections. The spirit sucked various spots around my forehead with great care. I could feel his lips, his little stubble, and his hands. But when I opened my eyes, I couldn't see anybody in front of me. Yet at the same time, I could feel him working on me, I could feel his body against mine, and hear the sounds that he was making. Within the next few days, the condition of my skin would improve a lot. It felt very subtle, very smooth, and just perfect. I was so thankful to this spirit for helping me. Beyond the physical healing, I was grateful for having this opportunity to experience spirits, and their interaction with the physical world. It changed my world view completely. I realized that I was totally oblivious to the reality of spirits, despite the fact that I have been interested in spiritual things for a long time. If I was so ignorant, given all my experience, what could be said of ordinary people?

Several times during the night, I experienced teleportation of objects. It was quite impossible to understand this phenomenon. For example, on at least two occasions, I stretched my hand to get some cigarettes, and discovered a table that was totally empty. There were no cigarettes or lighter. In fact, there was nothing on the table on which many things have been a few minutes earlier. I tried to understand what could have happened, but eventually gave up the idea and just sat there listening. In a few minutes, I felt like I should smoke again. I again reached my hand out toward the table that was next to me, and this time, it fell right on the lighter. I searched around the table, and found that the cigarettes were there too. Other things were also back on the table. The table had been definitely empty a few minutes ago, but now it had everything on it again. Another time later on, the same story repeated, only with the lighter. I searched the entire table several times through and couldn't find it. A few minutes later, I placed my hands on the table and the lighter was right there.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 80647
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 31, 2009Views: 9,538
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Ritual (129), Banisteriopsis caapi (169), Ayahuasca (8), Psychotria viridis (170) : Group Ceremony (21), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Relationships (44), Guides / Sitters (39), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9)

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