Citation: Mokriti. "Closing My Eyes to See Better: An Experience with 4-MeO-PCP (exp80390)". Erowid.org. Jan 19, 2012. erowid.org/exp/80390
I tried 4-meo-pcp for the first time last night. The afterglow is still slowing down my intellect at the moment, but I want to write a report while the experience is still somewhat fresh in my mind. I'll make comparisons to ketamine in this report, because I found 4meo to be quite similar. I've insufflated ketamine plenty of times, and sometimes at pretty large amounts that have put me into the coveted or feared k-hole.
I wanted to plug the 4-meo-pcp because I heard this was the best method. But, I didn't have anything to use to get liquid up there. As I was sitting in my Jacuzzi, I figured out a way that I thought would work. I placed a capsule with 150mg in it as far up as I could get it, then about 15 minutes later, I made use of a very strong Jacuzzi jet to shove some water up and let it blast the material all around. This method seemed to work really well.
About 45 minutes after taking the 4meo I started to feel some undeniable effects. I have always seen the come up on ketamine as sort of sparkly - where I kind of watch the world around me come apart in flashes and sparkles until I am into the ketamine space. With 4meo, I would say it was a more bubbly come up. What I mean by this is that it was more internal and actually emotional. As it was coming on, I would feel this internal shaking start to happen that would turn into laughter and even some tears. There were no actual body shakes, but more like the shaking that happens when you start to giggle. It was actually quite euphoric in nature during the come-up.
During pretty much the entire experience I was listening to my ipod through headphones that was playing ambient but somewhat energetic house music. During the first part of the trip I had to move with the music - and move pretty hard because it was giving me a lot of energy. It was almost as if I was moving to try to shake my body off so I could let it go and start flying around body-less. As I was dancing I was having closed eye visuals of amorphous cloud-like shapes coming at me. It was a lot of fun and I kept laughing at how good I was feeling. I've done ketamine on the dance floor and I would say this was more insistent and energetic than a ketamine dance. Dancing on K I usually end up swaying a lot because that is all I can do. During this first part of the trip before the full body load fully came on I was really dancing all out. I'd like to see what 4meo might be like at a club.
After a while of that, the body load started to increase substantially. It was very similar in nature to a heavy K body load, where my whole body feels heavy and I can only shuffle my feet to go anywhere. So I lay down on my bed. I kept dancing though for a while longer because I still had a lot of energy - just “bed” dancing - moving around a lot and waving my arms above me. I was still very happy at this point, and the uncontrollable bouts of laughter kept on coming.
Next, my internal space started opening up - and this is where the real beauty of the trip began. Of all of my K experiences, I have only had 3 or 4 times where I had real out of body experiences. Where I went next with the 4meo blew those times out of the water.
There is a visual experience that happens to me occasionally with K where I close my eyes in order to see better. If I peer through the blackness, a vast space opens up and I enter into another plane. Maybe it is what people refer to as the astral plane, I'm not sure. Well, on the 4meo I saw the plane start to open but I couldn't see very clearly in it. It was like I could tell that the space was there but it was all too black to see. I had the idea to do a bump of K, but thought that I should see what the pure 4meo experience would be like. So, I decided to do a bump of the 4-meo-pcp instead. I had pre-measured out 50 mgs, which I dumped out and insufflated half of. So, it was about 25 mgs. This was probably about 2 hours into the experience. I was going to do the whole thing but half way through the line I gagged and had to shuffle to the bathroom. It was very painful - much worse than K!
I sat on the floor by the toilet for a while, continuing to gag as the substance dripped down my throat. I never actually vomited but it wasn't pleasant.
When I went back to my bed the nature of the trip seemed to have changed somewhat. It wasn't as happy and euphoric anymore, which maybe was because of the unpleasantness of snorting that nasty stuff.
I closed my eyes again and just let my body relax, and the vast plane started opening up again. This time though, I could see more than I had been able to before. It was still very dark but maybe that is the nature of 4meo because other people have referred to it as darker than K too.
For about the next 2 hours I just lay there going wherever the visuals wanted to take me. When I have had this kind of thing happen on K, it is usually very earth-bound, flying through things like a forest and into the interior of a tree trunk - stuff like that. On 4meo it was more celestial in nature. I was flying through stars and looking down on vast natural landscapes of the earth - like at one point I was watching snow capped peaks crumbling into nothingness. I could also look down and see that the earth was far below me. At one point a couple of entities manifested in my vision. One was a large reptilian, dragon-like creature and the other was a tall nymph-like feminine entity. They both just watched me and seemed to be fine with the fact that I was there. The reptilian one in particular seemed very familiar, like I had seen those creatures before, but I have no recollection of ever having seen them in past experiences. On K I have never encountered any entities at all - it was always just me flying through scenery. So, this was a very interesting difference for me. There were a lot of clouds in the imagery too and the overall color of everything was green. It was very interesting and enjoyable and I didn't want it to end.
Eventually I took off my headphones, which seemed to have the effect of making everything slow down in my visions. I became the root of a vast, tall white house that I could tell was somehow representative of my entire life. The next part of the trip was probably the most interesting but also the hardest to remember or describe. I went into a very unconscious and dream-like state, but still aware. Almost sleeping, but not.
It was as if there were multiple states of consciousness, multiple aspects of me, and they were switching with one another - and I was but one of these aspects. There was one aspect that it seemed I could peel back and it would shine very brightly - kind of like by peeling it back I was opening a portal into which I could travel into the light to become that aspect. That aspect of consciousness was the one that I knew I would wake up to in the morning. The “real” me I suppose. All of the others were kind of like shadow consciousnesses that I could enter for a little while, but they weren't as bright and persistent and would not be able to hold me when I woke up. This splitting into multiple selves is not something I have ever experienced on K and seems unique to 4meo for me. It was almost as if I was aware of watching the parts of myself reintegrate after having been shattered apart by the 4meo. It was a deeper level of awareness than I have previously maintained in a near unconscious state - very interesting indeed!
I never did fall completely asleep all night. I was too aware and present in my unconsciousness and watching my dreams and visions to actually fall asleep. By the time the sun was coming up I didn't feel like I had ever quite slept but I didn't feel like I hadn't slept either. Maybe that was a kind of sleep, just not the kind I am used to. I've had lucid dreams before too, but this was something else entirely.
I got out of bed at around 9am, about 10 hours after first taking the 4meo. The afterglow from the substance is similar to how I would feel after doing a lot of K. There is disorientation and a general feeling of still being far away from everything - not quite on this plane of existence. I just had a long conversation with a friend who had no idea that I had done anything last night though, and he didn't seem to think anything was weird about me at all. It is now 1pm, and I still feel a bit twisted. I assume it will probably be with me at least a bit for the rest of the day. It's not that unpleasant anyway - but I am used to this feeling from K too.
Overall I would say that 4-meo-pcp is an interesting substance to explore occasionally. I would not want to do it habitually at all, but for a unique experience from time to time when I don't have anything too pressing the next day it definitely has some interesting things to offer. I enjoyed the vast visual astral plane that I traveled on, and I have a feeling that 4meo is a more surefire way to get there than K, which can be a little hit or miss.
I'd be interested in trying higher and lower doses. Lower for possibly going out dancing (maybe, not sure yet!), and higher to see what else opens up. I'm really curious to explore more of those multiple aspects of consciousness that I was experiencing, and maybe a higher dose would open that up more to me. I don't think I have any interest in insufflating again though and will probably stick to plugging with this material.
As with K, I would say that this substance is probably not right for a lot of people. It is a somewhat acquired taste that might be uncomfortable and confusing the first few times.
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